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Old 06-01-2014, 01:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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losing my resolve


Hi, as you know, I am on day 13, having started taking antabuse 11 days ago. I still consider it the "miracle drug" as I'm sure I would have lost my resolve this past weekend without it. As has been discussed in other threads, I'm really struggling with what I want to do now that I have a good chance of staying sober. I know I'm getting healthier, know I need to do this or I wouldn't have gone to such drastic lengths, but I really miss being able to sit on my porch and have a glass of wine while reading a good book, then go and cuddle up with my dog and drift off to a nice afternoon nap. I miss that warm fuzzy feeling that a couple of glasses of wine will give me, but then again I realize I rarely stopped at a couple. I'm at loose ends about what to do with myself. Luckily I can't make a spur of the moment decision, and probably this feeling will go away the longer I stay sober. I'm committed to keeping on taking the medication so I would have to REALLY make a huge decision at least 2 weeks in advance if I want to drink. I'm sure it will pass the longer I stay sober and the more used I get to sober life.
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Old 06-01-2014, 02:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Great job on 13 days, the key to Sobriety in my opinion is planning new activities, planning the day ahead, you can still read that book, but instead have a glass of fruit juice or for me a pot of green tea, there are so many other options and opportunities to life when alcohol is taken out of the picture.

Keep pushing through!!
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Old 06-01-2014, 02:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What other plan do you have? What support do you have?
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Old 06-01-2014, 02:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You do all of those things without the wine. It's tough when alcohol gets intertwined with the things we enjoy, we then think we can't have one without the other. Start building new associations for those activities. Maybe now, when you read on the porch, you have fresh squeezed lemonade. Or hot tea, or whatever. You can create a new fabulous way!

Hang in there!
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Old 06-01-2014, 02:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Antabuse was an aid I used in my first few weeks sober. In previous attempts it had been my only aid, and it proved inadequate. I guess I had the same thoughts you are having, remembering the good old days, and forgetting the bad ones.

In the end I found that I used every available aid to keep me sober, including Antabuse. But the clincher was developing a better way of life. That took effort and self sacrifice, but the result was a way of life that made "the good old days" appear in their true light, days of suffering and insanity. I wouldn't want to go back there now, life is too good today.
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Old 06-01-2014, 02:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by DancingDiva View Post
You do all of those things without the wine. It's tough when alcohol gets intertwined with the things we enjoy, we then think we can't have one without the other. Start building new associations for those activities. Maybe now, when you read on the porch, you have fresh squeezed lemonade. Or hot tea, or whatever. You can create a new fabulous way!

Hang in there!
I really like that advice
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Old 06-01-2014, 02:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Scintillady

I think it's important to make the distinction that antabuse is currently keeping you sober, but I'm not sure it's really helping your recovery any.

I don't mean that in a bad way - I simply mean recovery, to me, is more than just not drinking

What kind of life do you want?
what do you want to do?
what kind of person do you want to be?
what makes you happy and content?

finding the answers to those questions sober is really what recovery is all about IMO

D
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