Day 7 ... On anger
 

When I was drinking, I was consumed with anger. I was angry with my co-workers, I was angry with my bf, I was angry with my family, I was angry with life ... but most of all I was angry with myself. I feel much more serene even at only day 7 of sobriety. I know from past experience that the anger will return and that if I don't deal with it and remember exactly WHY I came here in the first place, that anger will consume me and I will drink.

I know that I must figure out and deal with the root of all that anger, just not today. Today I will not drink, tonight I will go to bed sober. Today I will continue to work on my plan of recovery. I still don't know exactly what that plan is, but I am working on it. I am building my arsenal to fight this monster and much of that arsenal is found at this site. For now, that is what I will do, for now I am not angry, for now I am sober. Tomorrow will be one week, and I am proud to say that. Thank you all for your help and support, this is a wonderful place full of wonderful people.

There's plenty of time for working all those things out, 7 days is fantastic Holly, keep pushing through!! :)

The recovery journey is, in my opinion, a lifelong journey, a way to live. There is plenty of time to work on issues. Congratulations on your week sober.

We have much more time now Hokey. Think about the drunk time, sleep it of time, and hangover time that we have gotten back now. I think I'm going to start a 2-do list. Great job!!! Keep it up!

Congratulations on a week sober, hokey. You're doing fine! :bigok::bigok::bigok:

Hi Holly,

You could have written some of the AA Big Book. "Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else."

" if we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They maybe the dubious luxury of normal people, but for alcoholics these things are poison".

Perhaps you could make use of a program that understands anger and resentment, and has a solution for it.

Thanks Mike! I go to meetings almost every night (only skipped friday so I could take part in the meeting here :) ) I find many useful tools in those meetings, mostly the fellowship of hanging out with people that know EXACTLY how I feel. I haven't got a sponsor yet, as I haven't really met anyone that I would truly feel comfortable with in that kind of relationship. But I do find the program really helpful. Thanks for your comment!

Hi Holly,

Just to follow up a bit on your comments. There are three parts to AA that make it work so well. There is the fellowship which is the people and the meetings.. Unity. There is the program, which is the steps... Recovery, and there is service, which makes recovery permanent.

To do the program, we need to be taking the steps and that is best done with a sponsor. I understand your comments about finding a sponsor you are comfortable with. It may help to understand that the true sponsor has quite a limited role. Their job, having taken the steps and had a spiritual awakening as the result, is to guide you through the steps and help you have your own spiritual experience, and to teach you how to help others have the same thing.

They are not there to run your life, make decisions for you, and while they may teach you how to think, they should never tell you what to think. Sponsors do not have to hear your fifth step, in fact they don't need to know all kinds of things about you, like for example your medical history. The Big Book Is quite clear that we can take advantage of any useful outside help such as might be found through a doctor, therapist, or spiritual advisor.

For personal and intimate things, you can go to anyone in whom you have confidence and it does not need to be an AA member. A sponsor with humility is not going to have any problems with this. They should encourage you to follow your conscience. And they will be there to help you with the steps when you need it. They might also help with other things like explaining alcoholism to your family, for example, and being a sympathetic ear when you need one.

You can change sponsors anytime. But it is important to have one to get on with the steps, and we don't usually have too much time to waste on this. As you know, if we take no action, the obsession always comes back, we just don't know when it will be.

You are doing a good job.

Recognising your anger. I never thought I was angry until my therapist pointed it out to me. He said all alcoholics are angry, that's why we drink.

it is really good that you recognize that
yes, once just short of three years sober I drank because of anger
at the time I had no good solid sober tools on my tool belt

it is smart that you are getting yours in order

MM