tuesdayschild

In another thread a couple of days ago, MIRecovery wrote, .

This is something I've known, intellectually, for a while now but it got me thinking. So in a burst of... I don't know what... I have booked myself into a short-term facility which specializes in recovery. Or sorting out your life. They basically see all addictions as symptoms rather than disease. The "disease" is, actually, how you feel about yourself, and deal with your life. So they focus on giving you the tools to live without the need for crutches.

Let me be clear, I'm not bashing AA or any other addiction/disease-based program in any way. Whatever gets you through to the promised land of sobriety and happiness is all good.

But... I am excited -- and scared. I'm only 9 days sober so far, but I know... I just know that if I don't start working on myself and change how I deal with my life, my stress, my job, my family I will go back to some crutch -- be it alcohol, anxiety pills, food. And that's just not an option for me anymore.

This last week, with all its ups and downs, I have been more present for my daughter. I haven't woken up one single morning dreading the embarrassing emails or phone calls or conversations of the night before.

But, the AV, Ego, whatever you want to call it, is still growling and I need to finally sort out why I'm so messed up. Because I am. I recognize it. And I need to learn how to handle life somehow without resorting to victimhood. All that does is rationalize the need to drink. And in the end I'm a big believer in personal accountability. My "story" doesn't make me pick up the bottle. I pick up the bottle.

I guess I'm rambling. I hope this has made sense. I guess I just wanted to share that I'm taking the plunge and going to a place I hope will help me. No... to heck with that... I know will help me. Because I am committed.

But I also know I would not have been able to get the courage to make that decision without the people here on SR. Their own stories. Their own courage. So, thank you all.

July 3rd can't come quick enough.

IOAA2

Hi and congratulations on your insights.
“Recovery is about change much more than it is about not drinking.”
Is a very old concept I heard at AA many years ago when alcohol was described as the tip of the iceberg and most of the work involved was below the surface. Recovery for me involves working below the surface which involves anger, different forms of fear, insecurity, control and on and on.
I feel that Rehab is a great learning tool to base a lot of our work on and are usually AA based with many of the staff AA oriented. I’ve done a lot of commitments at them and praise their results in many cases I personally know.

BE WELL

bigsombrero

Let me just give you a pat on the back and applaud your decision!

This kind of thinking and action is so important in recovery. In my experience, I faced the same questions and also elected to go to a treatment facility. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it....and you may feel the same way. But trust me, your thinking is spot on.

Recovery is a lot like driving a race car. Sure, you CAN jump behind the wheel with no training. But don't you think that most race car drivers do better with practice, training, and hard work? If you don't even know how to use the brakes, you're bound to crash!

Treatment/rehab is a great place to build long-term skills. You will pick up some amazing tools that will help you lead a happy, normal, addiction-free life moving forward. I'm glad to hear that you are interested in living a life like that. All the best to you! You made a great decision.

HeadLump

I think this is a brilliant decision, tuesday

Could I be very naughty and ask if you will share any insights with us? I think the kind of experience you're going to have will be amazing

tuesdayschild

Thank you Headlump. I am sure I will come back and post the good, bad and ugly. I really am excited to finally get a handle on my core issues and learn better coping mechanisms. I am intrinsically very shy and super private (read: hide myself from everyone) so this will be something totally new.

Thank you guys for the support!

LBrain

that is awesome tuesdayschild, make the best of your experience and take away from it as a much as possible.

you are well on your way to a better life.

lovesymphony

Good for you....Self help books can really make a difference, too. I like one by Lundy Bancroft called Should I Stay or Should I Go? which mainly focuses on relationships but a huge chunk off the book is about taking a look at yourself with worksheets included for sef-reflections. Another book I read a long time ago helped me deal with panic attacks better.