freedragonfly

I am having some major problems quitting drinking. I am losing confidence that I can do it at all. I had someone tell me I couldn't do it but later they apologized and now are more supportive. anyways, I didn't drink for two days. then got a six pack. had 3 yesterday and 3 today. drinking water now. Been trying AA but its really not easy for me. I am so scared that I can't do this. any encouragement is appreciated. I just feel pretty low right now. I already have depression. drinking makes it worse. I guess I have to keep fighting. I just feel like I'm losing the battle.

Anna

My suggestion is to not talk to people who tell you that you won't be able to stop drinking. Toxic people like that don't have a place in your recovery.

Yes, you can do it. Get rid of the alcohol in your house. Don't buy anymore. Trying AA is a good idea and so is reading and posting here on SR. Your depression will likely ease up when you stop drinking and things will get easier.

Know for sure you can do this.

Serper

I don't know your history, but 3 per day for a couple of days isn't too bad. How are you dealing with the withdrawals if any? When I first started drinking daily I was having 3-5 per day. I thought I was SO bad then. Looking back, it would have been so easy to quit then. Please quit now or at least take a break for a few months before it gets worse and you are having 10-12 per night and still going to work/school the next day. That's when quitting is physically scary.

PurpleKnight

You did it for 2 Days, a full 48hrs without drinking, you just need to figure out how to go 1 day more and then another day, create a plan so you don't buy that beer and you'll go 3 Days and then 4 Days the next time.

I spent a year trying to figure out how to go more than a few days, the answer is to have a plan to get over each hurdle and the days turn to weeks which turn to months.

You can do this!!

freedragonfly

I do not have any alcohol here that I want to drink. I will try hard to not buy more. I really need to quit.

So this slip wasn't horrible in terms of amounts but it still feels bad. I used to drink 6-10 a day. I did detox at home with a medication. I really do not want to have to do that again. so far did it a few times. I really can't quit on my own. I need help.

withdrawals are mainly just increased anxiety and increased depression.

freedragonfly

one more thing. I really regret drinking today and I need to remember how I feel right now. I feel awful, horrible. I feel incredibly depressed. So much so that I might get in bed and just lie there. I always remember drinking as something fun. But really its not fun at all. It leads me to feel really rotten.

Dee74

I had no confidence in myself at the end of my drinking. But I did trust the judgement of people here who said I could do it...they were right.

Just take it a day at a time for now if that's easier freedragonfly

D

freedragonfly

yeah one day at a time is really all I can handle. I really regret this today.

wantmylifeback2

I agree with you completely. I always talk myself into drinking thinking it's fun. Then, without fail, I wake up the next morning feeling shame, embarrassed, scared and it's awful. I'm so afraid that I will forgot all the negatives the next time someone asks me to go out. It really worries me. Today is my first day sober but Im scared for 3 weeks from now...

freedragonfly

Yeah, I don't get why I don't remember all the bad that comes from it. Well that is good you were sober today.

wantmylifeback2

For me... I'm more of a binge drinker. I have no problem going days without drinking. It's when I do go out I can't stop. I always make an ass of myself and blackout. I make really bad choices. So for me going a day is not much of a victory. I think that's why I've convinced my self for so long that I wasn't an alcoholic. I thought being an alcoholic meant drinking everyday. And I don't. But it's when I drink, I'm a mess. So unattractive. I hate the way it makes me feel. I'm just so afraid I'll lapse again. I've tried in the past to give up drinking but then I get invited to a party or out with friends and it's all downhill from there. I blackout every time and never remember the drinking at all so why can't I see that there is no fun in that???? Why do I keep putting myself in the same situation over and over. I feel so helpless....

freedragonfly

I started out binge drinking on weekends in college. At the time I thought it was so normal. It is good you recognize its a problem though. Because I sure didn't when I was doing that. Later my drinking progressed into daily drinking and a lot. After quitting for even a short time, when I go back to it, it starts out slowly and then builds back up to the large amounts like it was. I only recently realized I have to do something to stop it. I understand feeling helpless though. I feel pretty helpless too. That is why now I'm trying to get others to help me. I can't do it alone.

Gottalife

Yup. There are some of us for whom "play the tape through" does not work. We don't think of it, the memories that should stop us from taking the first drink don't come flooding to mind. In AA we call it the strange mental blank spot. Get caught in one of those and you will drink, nothing surer.

We are without defence against the first drink.

Nobody finds AA easy. I've yet to meet the person who comes happily to AA, breezes through the steps and recovers. I've seen one or two who appear to do that, with some of doctors little helpers, but permanent recovery eludes them as well.

No one likes the things we have to do to recover, the rigorous honesty, the confession of character defects, making amends, forgiving those who have harmed us, the smashing of the ego. It's all a very bitter pill to swallow, and we only do it we we see no other avenue open.

My recovery started from a position of complete hopelessness. Now I wonder why I didn't do it sooner, but it know the answer to that too. I thought I could avoid the pain of spiritual growth, dodge the issues, only do what I liked, I thought there must be an easier way. But there was not.

freedragonfly

I really see drinking in the past through rose colored glasses. I think I tend to just remember some happy times early on. Yet I got sick back then too. I never seem to remember that. Well, I should start journalling. I need to write down how I feel now so I can read it later. I want to remember how bad I feel.

yep, I'm terrified of doing the steps in AA. I suppose I can take my time though and not rush it. I'm really brand new to all this. Quitting on my own just has not worked. Help is needed. I do not know if AA is right for me or not. I know there are some other recovery options too. But AA is the most convenient for me in terms of accessibility to meetings. All I know is I am so sick of this.

wantmylifeback2

I feel the same way! Thanks for the idea about journaling. That is exactly what I'm going to start doing. Hopefully if I read that before deciding to go out it will deter me!

Notmyrealname

If you made it two days then you can definitely quit, and that's half the deal right there. The other half is learning how to stay quit, aka how to not start again. That may take some time to master. I tried to figure out where I was making the decision to pick up, and then figure out how to avoid making that same mistake again, and that worked out well. But maybe I made a different mistake next time -- okay, where did I go wrong, and how can I avoid this new mistake? I ran out of mistakes eventually. There aren't that many, it's usually the "same stuff different day" problem.

freedragonfly

It is likely going to be hard to turn down invitations to go out. I can imagine it would be. I guess I lost a lot of my friends due to alcohol by now. I just started drinking at home and isolating so lost touch with most people. I think you can do it though.

Dee74

For some of us 'playing the tape through through to the end' does work

It's easy to think of the good times we had drinking...it's harder to force ourselves to remember the bad bit that came after the good bits, but if you can 'play the tape through to the end', I always found it can really help dissipate that urge.


D

freedragonfly

I do really want to quit. I know I can do two days so just need to press on and make it three, then four and so on.

freedragonfly

I need to try next time to really remember the entire thing, including all the depression afterwards even if its not that many drinks. Basically even one drink is too much and harms me.