Waking up at 54
 

Hello,

I am not new to recovery and have had several lapses over the past week. I am not sure how committed I am anymore, but want to give another committent to abstinence.

I am in this forum because I am 54 and feel like my eyes are open for the first time in my life. I am really distressed to see how I have lived with my addictions to not be present. I practice yoga, meditation and try to be present through mindfulness, but am tired of the routine short answers to staying sober because they aren't helping with my inability to accept where I am in life and WHO I am.

I would like to hear back from other women who have also "woken up from the coma" later in life.

thank you.

I was almost 60 when I woke up, rtis4ever. It is never too late. I really love sobriety.

Welcome to SR.

I'm 55. I didn't realize how big a problem drinking was until I retired at 50. Before that, I drank with co-workers. I knew I drank a lot but didn't give it much thought. Then I hurt myself and did a significant amount of property damage in a blackout. Unless you are fully committed, you'll relapse and feel like a failure. You'll know when you are ready. Are you ready now?

Just wanted to Welcome you to the Forum!! :wave:

I was 55 when I woke up from the coma. I am now 58, been sober 17 months, and my life, as well as my yoga practice ,has never been better. The added bonus to all that is I'm constantly being told I look like I'm in my 40s. And my DH is not complaining ;)

Welcome!

hi and welcome,
i woke up at 51, so to speak, and quit the day i woke up to the fact i was a drunk.

and then it took a while to understand just how much of that had to do with WHO i am, not with what i do.

it's doable, rtis4ever, and i've been sober a few years now.
'being present'...well, i don't meditate or do yoga or anything like that, but staying present in the yucky feelings i wanted to get away from, the ME i wanted to get away from after quitting, yeah, that was something i had to learn. is that anything like what throws you back to drinking after a few days?

Nearly 52. Waking up but not always in love with my new life. It'll get better though. Welcome.

thank you for replying.... can anyone recommend any books or readings that offer wisdom about recovery for women later in life? I would really appreciate it..In the meantime, I will do a search in Amazon too, there must be books for women on recovery. thnx for the feedback. I like being sober too.

Soon to be 52, I woke up in my mid-forties, fully aware that I was an alcoholic but unable to follow through with promises to myself to moderate. If anything, my attemps at moderation only increased the compulsion. In 2012 I stumbled onto SR. I had many runs at sobriety but they always ended because..... I am now sober since December 26, 2013, and I can tell you that it really does get easier after you push through the first few months of constantly battling old habits and giving into the AV (additive voice).

I found the greatest support by joining the month of thread (the current month of people committing to sobriety) because there you can share, vent and experience the ups and downs during early sobriety. Just as I kept putting off sobriety until tomorrow, sobriety when practiced, quickly accumulates to days, then weeks and months. I am looking forward to racking up years in my sobriety bank.

There has never been a time in my very long drinking career that I woke up and thought about how happy I was to have drank the night before, but I can guarantee you that I have never regretted a night of not drinking.

thank you for that thoughtful response. It brought tears to my eyes......

Welcome to SR! I'm not a lady but woke up at 39.. But feel 96 sometimes.

Glad you are posting! You can change your life, and live happy not matter what the age we have ;-)

I wonder if there is a difference between man or woman concerning this question. I see a lot around the 50 mark finally giving in to accepting it. I was almost 55 when the reality hit me.

Rtis4ever - I am 51 & know that I do not want to live the rest of my life with alcohol being part of it - You are not alone. ((Hugs))

Hello Rtis4ever :wave: I was 52 when I literally received the bang on the head that woke me up to reality. I am now 54 and 16 months sober.

When I first gave up, I didn't really believe it would be forever, but the more sobriety I had, the better I felt physically. It was the psychological improvement which made the most significant difference to me, though. After nearly half a century, I stopped hating myself and I started feeling that I was worthwhile after all. It took a while but I could even look in the mirror and smile at my reflection (a huge step for me).

I am happier now than I have ever been. I also feel that I am a much better partner and that is really important to me. I see the world through a different lens now and I appreciate how beautiful it can be.

When I first gave up drinking, I had no idea that life could be like this. But now I know, I'm holding on to it with everything I have.

It's never too late :hug:

Hi Rtist4ever!

That's me too! I jumped on here last year at 54. Got my butt sober and haven't looked back since. 14 months ago.

I felt pretty good at 54 but when I hit 55 a few months ago...hmmmm....not so much. Only to the fact I know have to figure out a way to like getting older. Like I wasn't already. I just didn't feel like it. That 55 number I'm not to crazy about. It qualifies me for a senior discount that I really don't appreciate all that much.

Anyway, I'm sort of kidding but sort of not. I really like who I am now. Especially that I don't drink. I feel and look pretty good. A heck of lot better than how I would have looked if I would have kept drinking and definitely better than when I was drunk.

I probably would be dealing with this no matter what but I'm sure glad I'm dealing with it as a non drinker.

Here's what I see as my benefits. Just me. Everybody is different.

I'm softer. I roll with life so much better.
I really like me. I like all the things that make me..me. Even the flaws. I even like those.
People in my life are happy for me. That makes me feel good. I hear all the time how when I drank all I was doing was covering up how special I was to them. They love me for all my quirks and goofball stuff. They like the real me as much as I like the real me. That's nice.
I don't see things so black and white now. I see life as just a journey. I am exactly where I am because that's where I am suppose to be. Most stuff that happens is just that. Stuff. Most are just lessons I need to learn. I'm learning them at lightening speed too! That's very cool.

All this unfolded because I finally gave up on the notion that drinking was doing something for me. It wasn't. It was just wasting my time. I'm done wasting my time.

I couldn't accept who I was either before. I understand it now. I wasn't who I was suppose to be. I was just a shell of a person looking for the answer in everything but where the answer really was. It was hidden underneath my drinking. My drinking caused all the problems. All of them. It shut me down to life but it shut me down to me too in the process. Screw that.

Just me anyway. Find motivation in the fact you don't feel any motivation. I'm not so sure I was always motivated and thought this not drinking was all that great all the time. I know there where days where i wondered what the heck was i thinking? I just knew there was no other way for me. It was give it up or give up on me. Screw it again. If I have to choose between it or me. It can go take a flying leap.

I'll worry about 56 when 56 gets here. Actually, I'm just going to quit counting. Who cares. I look like what I look like no matter what the number is. I'll let other people tell me how old I am. :)

Hang in there. There are lots of us going through this.

Great post from the heart, 360shoes. The part that really resonated with me was that your drinking was covering up how special you were to people.

I am sorry that you once hated yourself. HeadLump, you are just as lovely as your garden

Hi rtis4ever I was 54 and 11 months when I stopped drinking. I found this forum a few months later, I'd gone on the marriage forum first but lots of them drank when feeling bad, it was have a drink to forget. Which was no good for me so I came on SR forum and realised it wasn't just about drinking.

People were just like myself with all kinds of different problems not just alcohol, but what's underneath when the alcohol has shed. my husband says, it's life, learn to deal with it. Not that easy for me who'd relied on the bottle to help me deal with things.

Now I have SR and all my friends in here. It does help to share your experiences and read others. Sounds kinda too easy, but it does work.

I'm glad you found us x

Woke up when I was 49 yrs! It's been two months and I'm still waking up :)

With ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes,
at 55 I can pass on my hope to you that with
willingness, openmindedness and honesty,
listening, learning, absorbing, then applying
a program of recovery in ur everyday life,
that it will get better. That you can experience
happiness, good health, fun, freedom, and
so much more like I have for the past 23 yrs.

I didn't get all those wonderful promises,
gifts in recovery right off the bat, but were
slowly granted to me each day I have remained
sober over the yrs.

At 23 yrs, im not giving up on my recovery
because I cant wait to see what other awesome
gifts in recovery are waiting for me around the
corner. :)

This can absolutely happen to you as well. :)