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Waking up at 54

Old 05-31-2014, 11:02 AM
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Woke up at 55. Like who I am now, warts and all. Like sobriety, not that it's always easy. Never want to go back.
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Old 05-31-2014, 11:27 AM
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I got sober at 50, stopped the weed and alcohol. Had to begin to rebuild my life.

3 years later and still sober! We can do sobriety at any age!
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Old 05-31-2014, 01:51 PM
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360shoes it sounds like you were paraphrasing what I shared at a meeting last night. It was spooky reading your post.
Very good stuff posted on this thread.
Tkanks to all who responded.
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Old 05-31-2014, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by rtis4ever View Post
Hello, I am not new to recovery and have had several lapses over the past week. I am not sure how committed I am anymore, but want to give another committent to abstinence. I am in this forum because I am 54 and feel like my eyes are open for the first time in my life. I am really distressed to see how I have lived with my addictions to not be present. I practice yoga, meditation and try to be present through mindfulness, but am tired of the routine short answers to staying sober because they aren't helping with my inability to accept where I am in life and WHO I am. I would like to hear back from other women who have also "woken up from the coma" later in life. thank you.
I just turned 58 a couple weeks ago. I had a long sober period in my 30's-40's but foolishly resumed and have been binging a few days a week ever since. I finally felt the commitment to really change my life just this week. It feels different this time and not just a guilt ridden commitment that I have felt so many times before....which I got over in a few days of not drinking until the next hangover. SR is such a great tool and support. Also signed on to overcoming addiction program through SMART recovery. I'm truly working at staying sober this time. As I get older, the image of a 60 year old drunk became more and more pathetic to me. Disgusting really. Each day I feel better, more determined. And am liking me a whole lot better! Good to know there are so many older ladies here. I really didn't expect that. I think that is partly because we hide our behavior more as we age. I know I did anyway.
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Old 05-31-2014, 08:52 PM
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An absolutely wonderful thread. But then, none of you needed me to tell you that.
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Old 05-31-2014, 08:59 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR.
54 year old here.
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Old 05-31-2014, 09:07 PM
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rtis4ever, I was 57 when I arrived at SR last year and made the decision, I turned 58 two months in and 59 a couple of weeks ago. I'm almost 15 months sober.

The impetus for my decision was niggling poor health symptoms which I initially put down to getting older.They had nothing to do with getting older but plenty to do with the amount of alcohol I consumed. What I hadn't bargained for with recovery was that my physical health improved so much I felt like I had shed 20 years and my mental and emotional health are continuing to improve all the time.

I run a fairly large house, a retail business outside the house, look after my 87 year old Mum who lives with us, volunteer online. Life has never been better.
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Old 05-31-2014, 10:22 PM
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Hi rtis4ever, I woke up at 47, relapsed after 18 months then again I woke up at 51 - two weeks ago. I'm planning on sticking with it for good. It is such a better life sober. I have experienced success with it before and that is what keeps me going now. I have a stressful job and most of the people drink there. I have been there a long time and have watched some of them change sadly due to alcohol. Of course I was one of them when I looked in the mirror. I really am looking forward to feeling much better again. I already see results. My stomach is normal again for one. I was always sick to my stomach.

Great thread!
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Old 05-31-2014, 11:50 PM
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A month after turning 55, I volunteered to go into De-tox, then straight to a womens Rehab for 30 days. I celebrated 18 months on May 12 ( Mother's Day!). For me, I was ready, never too late IMHO.
. Bobbi
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Old 06-01-2014, 09:10 AM
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RT,
you asked about books. and you've asked about ones specifically for women, and yes, there are some, both for step-program and non-step approaches.
there is a whole thread up on the forum lists where people mention books they found useful: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html

personally, 'Recovery by Choice' by Martin Nicholas is one i found extremely useful; it's a thoughtful exploration of our own beliefs, experiences, values, lifechoices, daily habits, in the form of participatory questions designed to "make you look and think" at how it really was and is.
it was written by the founder of LifeRing, a secular peer-support approach to recovery.
it is not specifically for women.

anyway, if you check out the book thread i'm sure you'll find something of use to you.
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Old 06-01-2014, 09:23 AM
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Rtis4ever, I was 56 when I got the wake up call. It gets frustrating, however, keep refining that commitment and get back on it every time you slip. Rootin for ya.
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Old 06-01-2014, 11:10 AM
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I'm 50 and back to Day 1 today after several days of drinking. I made it 5 days when I joined a few weeks ago and felt good (stomach aches gone, more energy, less puffy face) so thought I could just go out with my husband and have drink at dinner. Nope...he had 1 drink and I had a bottle of wine each night for the past few days. I'm am trying to "wake up" to the fact that total abstinence is really the only choice. Deep down I know I will enjoy life much better when I'm sober but it's hard when I think I am happy and like myself when I drink. So I need to do this for my kids (who most likely do not like me when I drink) and my health if I want to make it to 55.
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Old 06-01-2014, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by rtis4ever View Post
Hello,

I am not new to recovery and have had several lapses over the past week. I am not sure how committed I am anymore, but want to give another committent to abstinence.

I am in this forum because I am 54 and feel like my eyes are open for the first time in my life. I am really distressed to see how I have lived with my addictions to not be present. I practice yoga, meditation and try to be present through mindfulness, but am tired of the routine short answers to staying sober because they aren't helping with my inability to accept where I am in life and WHO I am.

I would like to hear back from other women who have also "woken up from the coma" later in life.

thank you.

I woke up at 37 but if I've learned anything at all, alcohol cares not if you are 25 or 85, it's down to us to control our destiny.
Life is far from peachy when you sober up, it's just that you can see it all that bit clearer.
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Old 06-01-2014, 11:18 AM
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Originally Posted by irma View Post
Good to know there are so many older ladies here. I really didn't expect that. I think that is partly because we hide our behavior more as we age. I know I did anyway.
This has been a nice gift to me too Irma. Thanks Rtist4ever for the post. You helped a lot of people because of that!

It is nice to hear stories of other people...man or woman..who got a chance to learn about themselves all over again at this watershed age in our lives! And just when I thought I experienced everything and there was nothing new out there to get excited about. Boy was I wrong. This is kind of turning into the happiest I've ever been.

I chalk this up to being sober and finally being comfortable in my own skin. Finally. Some of my flaws went away just because I quit drinking. Some of them stuck around. That's cool. I have the clarity to determine which ones I want to work on and which ones are just quirks.

Did anyone else when they were younger always feel like they didn't really know themselves? Feel like they just reflected what other people expected or what we thought they expected or was that just me?

This might be my favorite gift of not drinking. I feel I really have gotten to know myself. And I actually like her.
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Old 06-01-2014, 11:39 AM
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I woke up at 57. Better late than never.
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Old 06-01-2014, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by 360shoes View Post
Did anyone else when they were younger always feel like they didn't really know themselves? Feel like they just reflected what other people expected or what we thought they expected or was that just me?

This might be my favorite gift of not drinking. I feel I really have gotten to know myself. And I actually like her.
Last year I would still say I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Does that answer the questions?

I am just now getting to know myself.
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Old 06-01-2014, 12:38 PM
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Welcome Rtis4ever,

You've come to the right place. Whatever it takes, you don't have to do it alone. Use whatever it takes to get sober. SR along with AA is keeping me sober today. I got it right at 63 and am at 138 days. Just realizing how beautiful life can be sober. Join us.........
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Old 06-01-2014, 01:09 PM
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54 for me, almost three years ago. I was headed down, straight down, and it wasn't going to take too much longer before I lost my marriage, job, home, family, everything that made up my life. The day came when I said I need to find a way to do this sober, to face my cr@p, and use my brain, talent, character to do it. I decided I could do it, and did it.

I will never go back to that 60 oz prison. I am free.
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Old 06-01-2014, 01:41 PM
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Seems to be a common theme here. I woke up at 50.
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