Quickly Losing Perspective-Help?
 

So I've been very clearheaded and focused this week but now that I'm leaving work on a Friday afternoon I can completely feel another mentality rising in me. This sense of happy-gonna go home and have a couple glasses of wine. I think it was triggered by a winery ad that showed up in my inbox in addition to past practice.

I've got to think my way out of this one so I came here to post. This swirling brain really, really took me by surprise. Any support, help, advice would be really useful.

Leaving to drive home but will check when I get there.

Thanks so much. :grouphug::grouphug:

Fresh air I always finds clears the head, upon arriving home from work, coat on and a long walk in the fresh air clears all of those thoughts out of my head!! . . . the more you sit thinking about drinking, round and round, the worse it will be, you gotta break that cycle of thought!!

The spinning brain is deadly to the alcoholic. Many people here call this the AV (Addictive Voice) it is your addiction talking. You have to find ways to shut it up. Whatever that looks like and sounds like to you.

The rest of your life there are going to be ads, bars, weddings, birthdays, Friday afternoons, summer pool parties, dinner out, etc. You have to accept that if you are alcoholic you cannot have that first drink. I assume you have already tried moderation previously and found it didn't work, right?

Hey! I know that feeling, like your brain has switched gears on you. I had this happen while driving to the market one day. Wanna know what set me off? A frickin speed limit sign. Except that it wasn't a speed limit sign. It said 0.08 Alcohol Limit. My dumbass brain started wondering how many drinks I could have and still be legal. It devolved into wondering how much I could drink and still be able to drive well enough to not get busted. WTF brain?????

I pulled into the market parking lot and I felt it. I was dancing in the danger zone. I called my husband and told him how I was feeling and promised him I wouldn't buy a drink. I did my shopping, got back in my car and called my sponsor. I felt so much better after coming clean about my feelings. I felt like I took an experience that could have been very bad and turned it onto an example of my honesty and trust.

Keep coming here and consider calling someone about how you're feeling. I struggle with personal accountability so I make sure I'm at least accountable to my sponsor and husband.

For me i always "think the drink through" right through to the end , including the hangover , loss of wallet , random e-mails , resentments and frustrations . worse bank balance , worse health .

For me there were very few occurrences when i had just one or two , even though i kidded myself into thinking like that quite a few times .

Keep on , m

What never fails for me is to play the tape forward. Remember how it ends. And 9 times out of 10, for me, it didn't end at a winery, in a romantic spot, sipping wine :) It typically ended in blackout or some sort of minor catastrophe, and occasionally a major one.

Go straight home, take a few deep breaths and think of the consequences.
Drink some cool spring water or a hot tea and relax. If your time allows, take
a nice long shower or bath and clear your mind of that whimpering AV.
Monday's right around the corner. Picture yourself waking up fresh and focused.
Picture a weekend of accomplishment and needed rest.
The AV is a filthy liar. YOU are in control of IT.

Here. Read this, courtesy of Deeker and the 24 hour club. Today's post to keep us on the winning team. Do you sign up every morning?


Hi There! This is a sign up sheet. Glad you are here! Please, won't you join
us today, this 24 hours. No alcohol, No drugs, No Matter What!
Thank You!


Since we are heading into the weekend, I came up with this list, it's a little
reminder of why we may not want to drink or drug this weekend.

Just a Reminder- Things we can appreciate once we are clean and sober.

No more worrying who saw us the night before.
No more dry heaving in the middle of the night.
No more switching up liquor stores.

No more waiting for the liquor store to open.
No more calling in sick and making excuses.
No more throwing up on the side of the road.

No more sitting in dark and dreary bars feeling alone.
No more fear of getting pulled over for a DUI.
No more wondering why our wallet is empty.

No more family arguments.
No more feeling ashamed and embarrassed all the time.
No more fear of remembering where we were last night.

No more "What did we post on facebook?"
No more waking up in a stranger's bed.
No more laziness and pure weakness.
No more sneaking the garbage out.

No more letting down our kids, missing their games.
No more "where did that bruise/injury come from?"
No more spending money that we don't have.

No more sneaking in the house at 2 am.
No more pregnancy scares.
No more spoiling Holidays.

No more worrying about where our next drink or drug will come from.
No more trying to remember if we did anything stupid the night before .
No more waking up with that panicked feeling thinking "who
did we talk to on the phone last night?

No more asking our spouse, friend, or significant other what we
did last night. "Did I make a fool out of my self last night?"

No more cheating on our significant other.
No more throwing up and gagging when brushing our teeth.
No more avoiding people we believe saw us make a fool of ourselves.

No more anxiety.
No more hangovers.
No more lying.

The 24 hour sign up sheet helps more than anything. I want to keep signing up!

Bullseye!
:uzi2:

Losing perspective? When I was drinking, and for a long time in early sobriety, my perspective was limited to when, where, what and how much I would be drinking next...the next minute, the next hour, the next day. Everything else was just noise in the system.

Most people seem more comfortable when they direct their efforts towards building a better life, a life without alcohol. These days, I generally only consider alcohol and alcoholism in the context of what I read here on SR and in the context of AA meetings, and to the extent that it comes up in my work.

Life awaits.

Hows it going SoberTaurus?

D

Whew! I'm here and I'm sober! Thank God for you all.

I had to make a couple stops on the way home (not alcohol related). When I got home I did exactly what everyone here said. I thought the night forward. I thought about how I wanted to feel tomorrow. I told myself, yes, it is a beautiful Friday night, gorgeous outside, and definitely worth celebrating. Why in the world would I want to numb myself to it when I could experience it fully and joyfully?

I also came right out and told my mother and older son that I wasn't drinking anymore. Period. That I felt better sober and was happy with my choice. Even though my mother already had a buzz on she said she was proud of me and at she needed to cut back herself. Abstinence isn't something she can fathom yet.

So I went outside and had some lemonade tea, got the kids working on their chores, and feel more centered now.

We are going out with friends tomorrow night, with whom we often drink. I made it through the night with them once without drinking, though I was hungover at the time, but I know I can do it. I need success tonight for self confidence tomorrow. I'm also coming clean with my husband and telling him in advance that I'm not drinking and I want him to help support that, which I know he will do.

Whew. Deep breaths. I know these feelings will come up over and over and I just need to work through them, and listen to people who have gone through it and come out the other side. I know it is possible.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. :tyou :ring

Where do I find the 24 hour club? Thanks. :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...elcome-13.html

If I was you I'd reconsider tomorrow night if possible...but, if you really must go out tomorrow night and there's no getting out of it at all - I'd start working up a plan now sobertaurus - think about the likely scenarios and how to handle them...make an escape plan.

D

Hey Sobertaurus. So glad you got home safely and sober.
...What Soberjennie said rings soooooooooo true for me.
It's so rarely lovely like a good romantic comedy scene...
It's usually a slovenly drunken unattractive mess.
How quickly I forgot that.

Thanks. I made a backup plan for tomorrow. We are only going out to eat and then coming to our house to play cards rather than partying it up. I have my Keurig ready with a variety of delicious coffees and creamers, and I will have hubby supporting me. They will have to deal with a little change of patterns, as I don't want to do the same things we did before. :). The plan is in place. Plus, if it gets too much, I'll just say I'm getting a headache and I can go to bed and read a book in my bedroom. Usually I'm the big crazy drinker and most of them moderate fine, so I'm suspecting they'll be glad not to have to manage me. The wife of the couple can drink badly, but only when she is following my lead. She has been cutting way back herself and the last couple times we got together she only had a couple drinks, so I think she will be relieved to not feel like she should drink to keep up with me.