On the outside looking in

Old 05-30-2014, 01:32 PM
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On the outside looking in

It's funny how life works sometimes. Ive been enjoying being sober, but there are certainly days where the thought comes to mind that it isn't fair and that I really think I can have a drink or two like everyone else. Last night was one of those nights. I'm on vacation and everyone around me was drinking... a lot. My husband drinks a beer or two a night usually and he was even on the fourth or fifth by dinner time. I was pretty annoyed by the end of the evening and went to bed with the thought process of "well, when I can drink again, I won't be acting like that! " Sheesh!

Well, woke up this morning and my husband starts showing me all these text messages that his uncle sent him the night before. Mean, random, nonsense... (his uncle has been staying with his grandmother because he was drinking too much and lost his job, home, everything. ) Anyway, we had just seen them a few days ago during our trip, and everything seemed fine, but my first words to my husband when he showed me the texts, were "he's been drinking." He called his grandmother and she was in tears. Devastated because sure enough she's having to kick his uncle out of her house because he was hammered and had caused a major scene that night and part of the agreement to stay there, was staying sober. What a disaster.

I just thought it was ironic, because here I was jealous of the people around me getting wasted and having a grand old time, and just a few hours away a family member is creating utter destruction because of alcohol. I'm not jealous anymore. This is the first time I've really been on the other side of this situation watching the damage this addiction is causing in not only the addicts life, but the lives of SOOO many people around him! He's almost 30 years older than me... I do NOT EVER want to cause this kind of pain for my family. It's certainly an eye opening situation. I'm only at 40 days sober today, but I'm thankful for those 40 days without alcohol causing problems in my personal life! Just babbling now! Thanks for listening! :-)
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Old 05-30-2014, 01:41 PM
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we need those constant reminders sometimes. stay strong
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Old 05-30-2014, 01:44 PM
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Hi well done on 40 days thats really great. I have stopped drinking a few times once for 8 months and then Christmas happened, I felt left out like I was missing something so I had a drink but we all know it doesn't stop there, a month later I was back in full swing, I though I could control it, I wanted to be normal. I have now accepted I cant have a drink ever again, it makes me sad some days but I fight my thoughts. well done for not joining in the drinking, its natural to feel like you did. You have first hand experience what drink can do, its a nasty substance that gets you addicted and ruins life's dont let it ruin yours
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Old 05-30-2014, 01:51 PM
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Hi PinotNOmore, I was on holiday a few weeks ago, felt the same way, everyone drinking round me, or so it seemed. It's great you didn't pick up, as we know, the cold light of day usually offers us much disappointment after we drank, for us and those around us.

Have a great holiday xx
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Old 05-30-2014, 01:59 PM
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Congratulations on your 40 days sober, Pinot!
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Old 05-30-2014, 03:43 PM
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well done of 40 days Pinot...and no I never want to go back 'there' either

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Old 05-30-2014, 03:45 PM
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Pinot - I'm so proud of you. Great job.
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Old 05-30-2014, 04:30 PM
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As bad as any craving I ever resisted was, I never regretted resisting it the next day! I also was never glad later, after giving in. I'm looking forward to day 40; you'll be on day 75. Congratulations on your current success!
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:34 AM
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Thanks everyone! Home from vacation and feeling good! Every day though I seem to have that conversation with myself... "maybe just one", "maybe after 6 months or a year"... I hope that thought process goes away sometime soon! It's very annoying! Lol
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:52 AM
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Pinot....Congratulations on 40 days and making it through vacation! You are not alone in your thinking. I watch people around me drinking and having a good time and I think to myself that its not fair that I can't just have one or two. I am happy that I finally made that realization though. As Dirk said, I never have regretted resisting a drink but I have certainly regretted picking one up. I hope I can remember that the next time I have a urge!!
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