DoubleDragons

I had an "aha" moment today. I was reflecting on being eight months sober today and I was thinking that one of the only drawbacks to being sober is that I am not as much fun. But then I thought about everyone who I have been around who still drinks. They actually don't change and become more fun people when drinking. In fact, most of them remain pretty much the same people/personalities that I have grown to love until they get drunk enough to be stupid, slurry, boring or gross. None of them are more "fun" with drink in them. I realized that it was my perception that "drinking me" was more fun, but truthfully, I liked being around other drinkers not because they were more "fun" but because they normalized my drinking. I never reflected on this fact until now. Crazy, right?!? This revelation has really helped me in trying to get over the small little AV voice that is still in me trying to tempt me into "moderation" again.

thekl0wn

I would have to agree... My non-alcoholic friends pretty much stay the same. My borderline/full-blown alcoholic friends suffer the same issues I did: Once they start, they're on a mission... Quite often telling themselves lies that they were having fun, when in truth they were just drinking to get out of their own head.

Personally, time spent with my friends is MUCH more enjoyable now. Sure, I'm not as wild as I once was, but so far... Nobody has complained about that!

phoebe64

I actually notice one certain crowd is less fun when I do not drink, and they do. I think my drinking made them tolerable, lol. They are a cliquey group of my husband's friends' wives, and not very inclusive. Well, they are nice enough, but all have known each other forever, longer than they have known me. Always drinking is involved. One in particualr loses the filter and says things she might otherwise be more careful about if sober.

My drinking just kept me occupied and busy while they pretty much did their thing and I was a bit ignored. Last party, I actually went alone with the kids because my husband was sick. I did not drink(it was a year ago), and saw all of this so clearly! So, I eventually got so bored. I let my kids play for awhile(it is a lake house and an annual party) and finally just had to leave with them. Everyone was sitting around drinking and it was truly so boring. Nobody even thought of feeding the guests. I made us some food for ourselves on the grill.

Anna

It's amazing what a little perspective will do for your outlook.

SoberLeigh

I have recently come to the same conclusions, DoubleDragons. I actually enjoy my friends more in sobriety than I did while drinking. I am now really attuned to them instead of the arrival of the next drink.

jessie65

I already know I won't be 'fun' anymore, lol.
I'm too shy to even carry on a conversation, never mind be the life of the party. Alcohol loosened me up, a lot.
Oh well, it is what it is, I have to accept it if I'm ever going to stay sober.

phoebe64

Jessie, I like to think we will eventually find new, sober friends who see us as we are and like us, warts and all.

Dee74

I embraced my shyness Jessie - it's who I am.
I have a lot of people in my life now who like me, for me.

No more masks, no more role playing

D

LadyBlue0527

I have more fun now without the alcohol. It took me a while to figure out that it was never really fun, it was all about the drinking.

Intense revelations about reality began at about 8 months for me. It sounds like you're finding out the same!

You're going to be amazed at the things you realize.

readerbaby71

One of my oldest friends has been sober for 17 years. We used to drink together. We always have a blast when we hang out. He is one of the funniest, most fun people I know. He makes me dinner and cuts my hair and we watch Archer, laugh, sing.... Sure, we had drunken fun back in the day at his booze-fueled dinner parties, but now waking up and remembering everything we did the night before makes me happy. (and without the guilt and hangover shame!)

Johnston

Drinkers are more fun if you're into cheap laughs.

Tetra

Actually people tell me I am more fun now I'm sober.

My friend says I'm much less anxious with a very dry sense of humour

DoubleDragons

You are right, Ladyblue. The revelations are coming hard and fast. I think us recovering alcohol addicts are among the strongest people in the world. How many addicts have their drug of choice be legal, easy to obtain, relatively inexpensive, bombarded to them on TV advertisements, and actually pushed on them by their families and friends??? How many addicts are made to feel bad because they can't "moderate" their drug?? We are able to abstain from our drug of choice against some pretty amazing odds. So, we need to hold our heads up high for our strength and our courage!!!

ktwsober

great points doubledragon. I think a lot of us have had the "I am no fun" feelings. I know I did.

Tiptree

Love your posts doubleD

DoubleDragons

Thanks, Tiptree. I guess I am coming to the understanding that people loved me despite of my drinking not because of it, which means sober me must be pretty likeable.