matt634

After 60 weekends of binge drinking I'm geared up for a clean sober one this weekend. Apart of me wants to go for just one more and quit next weekend, but the other part of me see's the suffering and problems that have resulted from my drinking. It's Thursday and I'm already hearing the compromising in my head that goes something like this : Well it's alright to drink and unwind on the weekend, it's been a tough stressful week. You've worked hard this week you deserve a" a few cold ones", which never ends with a few. At least you're at home and not out running around with the " wrong crowd". Hey it's only beer at least you're not drinking hard whisky. Hey you'll control it better this weekend and not drink as much. And on and on it goes. Like I said it starts every Thursday and I always give in. Monday through Wednesday I'm a jerk at work and home withdrawing and drying out. But around Thursday I'm feeling better and starting to agree with my lying AV. Hopefully this will be the weekend the AV gets the boot , because I know this the best way. I've got to do this or it's going to eventually kill me.

13unluckyforsom

Sounds like my head right now too lol the lies we believe!

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

It's easy to quit "next weekend" or tomorrow, or after one more blowout. That thinking, that I'd quit after the next drunk, kept me drinking 10 years longer than I should have.

What's the plan for the weekend following this one?

FreeOwl

sober weekends are pretty dang great.

huntingtontx

You will quit when you decide it is over, and not until then. The first step is not taking the first drink, no matter what. After that you will have time to address all the stuff that comes up. Life is so much better with a clear head and no drunken regrets. Good luck. I hope you choose sober. We are all here for you to walk the sober journey with you. Your choice.

pupkin

I feel your struggle, matt634. I too had "one last hoorah" too many times and for too many years. I'd think yours would be extra difficult to resist if this is your weekend reward and you're not drinking daily throughout the week. But you CAN resist it. And it will feel terrific on Monday. Try it and see!

MandalayVA

Weekends are my downfall too. WE CAN DO EET!

Cahabr

Sober weekends are fantastic when you start thinking about all the additional stuff you get to do. When I would binge drink on the weekends they were always a bit of a blur and at the end I was left with a killer hangover (sometimes taking until Wednesday to recover). I didn't feel like I really had any family time or got anything else done that I wanted to over the weekend. Now that I'm sober on the weekends they are so much better and I'm not sure how I ever had the time to drink. Alcohol steals your time away, and your life.

leviathan

yeah! you got it!

when i look back at all those last hoorahs, they werent that fun. it was the same old movie playing again with me in the leading role as "the whiny looser".

matt634

Yeah, and I keep getting deceived into thinking the script of the movie is going to change. Gotta let it go this weekend.

Jupiters

YOU can change the script!

matt634

Just went to my first aa meeting at lunch and everyone sounded like programed robots. I gotta get clean and I know it's on me, just looking for some guidance and wisdom.

Jupiters

I struggle with certain meetings I attend as well. I try to pull what I need to and what will work for ME, kinda like a buffet.

have you made a plan for the weekend yet? an agenda sans booze?

matt634

Yeah I'm looking at instead of picking up the tradtional Friday evening 18 pack attending another meeting in a neighboring town. It seems that if I dont buy into the whole aa mantra I'm not going to fit in and be a black sheep.

Stoogy

I get what you are saying, I really do my friend been there but sadly tomorrow never comes.
Good luck buddy.

Jupiters

the ever elusive tomorrow. yup.

snowbunting

You don't have to do AA, I don't - I'm not spiritual plus group meetings make me uncomfortable plus I hate talking on the phone, so I'm a bad candidate for it. Granted I'm only new to this so I'm hardly proof of alternative methods working, but there are tons of alternative ways out there, it's about finding what's best for you. If you want to do AA go for it - it's obviously proven to be great for many people. But don't feel you hae to pretend to be something you're not, that would suck.

I relate to your original post so much. Your AV sounds exactly like mine. It's so amazingly convincing, it's easy to see why we've fallen for it so often. The fact is though, it's all lies. What you need to do now is make a solid plan of things you will enjoy for this weekend, with no alcohol involved at all. Breaking the cycle and forming new habits is hard, so now is the time to be really self-indulgent. You can do anything you want at all (as long as it's legal!) except drink. This leaves you with a surprisingly large amount of options. Ever felt like rewatching all your favourite childhood movies while learning how to make the best smoothies in the world while dressed in your pajamas and eating croissants?! Go for it, if that's what you feel like doing. I not, replace those four things with four things you'd rather do instead. Keep yourself distracted, occupied, and have as much fun as you can. Try to start thinking of your weekends as your own time to do whatever the hell you want except drinking. Hopefully new habits will form from this. At least, that's my plan. Lots of luck

MandalayVA

I think just as long as you're around people who understand where you're at that's most of the battle. Like Snowbunting face-to-face AA turned me off for a variety of reasons, but I do agree it does help people. Being uncomfortable doesn't keep you sober.

snowbunting

Yes, it's obviously great for some - probably most - people. I love some of the messages of AA and think about them a lot, but the spiritual side doesn't work for me, and right now I don't want to go to meetings. I have support from my very understanding husband, and I have this site. I feel at the moment that that is enough. If things get scary and I need to reach out I would of course re-evaluate. But nobody should feel like they 'have' to do a certain style of recovery if they don't want to, because there are others, and everyone is different.

2muchpain

The main reasons I go to meetings is to be around people that are having the same problems I am having, and to listen to them share. I get a lot out of what they share. Not everybody that goes to those meetings buys into the whole AA thing. I connect to some things, others I don't, and I'm ok with that. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.
Also, I'm very familiar with the 18-pack Friday thing. If you are honest with yourself, that will just be the beginning of another lost weekend, then another and another, etc. Stay busy and stay strong, and you will feel great come Monday. Good Luck.