Back to day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 61
Back to day 1
Ugh, back to feeling like crap. Not going to make excuses. I just decided I wanted to escape last night. I really do want to be free of this addiction.
Right when I start to feel like I'm finally making real progress, I sabotage myself. Not sure why.
I think I haven't accepted that I am an alcoholic and that booze is poison for me. That's what I need to work on. Obviously nothing will change until I accept it. It's just so dang hard.
Right when I start to feel like I'm finally making real progress, I sabotage myself. Not sure why.
I think I haven't accepted that I am an alcoholic and that booze is poison for me. That's what I need to work on. Obviously nothing will change until I accept it. It's just so dang hard.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Timmah, you can't sabotage yourself if you don't have the means. Whatever you did, whether it was going out or drinking at home -- eliminate the means and substitute something that will help. Enjoyable exercise, music, etc.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. For too long after I recognized I had a drinking problem I was undisciplined and dishonest deep inside about my drinking so I suffered and stayed in denial. Finally when I was convinced that self honesty was so important in getting sober die things start to fall into place. I next needed to stop the BS mind games and accept the fact that I cannot drink in safety.
This is not a quick or easy process but it is doable if we apply our learnings for long term soberity and forget the quick fix which is useless in getting rid of the pain involved in our sickness.
BE WELL
This is not a quick or easy process but it is doable if we apply our learnings for long term soberity and forget the quick fix which is useless in getting rid of the pain involved in our sickness.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
I went back to day 1 nine days ago. It ain't easy.
When I slipped, it happened so fast.
Hang in there, the key is to get through day 1,
then it all falls into place. After the first few days,
you'll feel better.
Personally, I have to watch carefully
after my two week mark.
Long term can be problematic for me,
but I'm still learning.
When I slipped, it happened so fast.
Hang in there, the key is to get through day 1,
then it all falls into place. After the first few days,
you'll feel better.
Personally, I have to watch carefully
after my two week mark.
Long term can be problematic for me,
but I'm still learning.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 61
HA! Great South Park clip. Those guys sure know how to show the true side of things.
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I managed to drag my butt into work. Thankfully, things are slow right now so I can chill out and drink a ton of water.
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I managed to drag my butt into work. Thankfully, things are slow right now so I can chill out and drink a ton of water.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: us
Posts: 12
I know how you feel
I joined the May class and have not got 1 day sober under belt to this point. Getting 1 let alone stringing a few together seems out of reach. I keep feeling something is going to change though...good luck everyone. 
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
The first week i quit (each time), i had to rely really hard on other people and distractions. I spent a lot of time on reddit, called people, texted, watched TV...anything to distract my alcoholic brain from hijacking my feet and walking me to the store for liquor.
It's hard, breaking the physical habit. Every part of your body wants to continue doing what you've been doing. You walk to the liquor store and it's like you're being held captive inside yoir own body. The rational part of your brain is screaming "stop! Stoooooop!" but you're a captive in your own body. The zombie your body has become shuffles home. You go through the motions, the familiar ritual, while that voice inside weeps and screams for you to stop. Eventually, that voice is quieted and it's nothing but the usual oblivion, shame and regret. Hopelessness engulfs you. Guess i'll try again tomorrow....
So what do you do? This sounds crazy but the first thing you do is change something. Even before that craving hits and you lose control of your body, you do something. Hit a meeting, call a friend, post on here, go to the gym, read a book on recovery. We all know our danger times. Is it when you go grocery shopping? Call someone to go with you. Whatever physical habits you have, break them early in the cycle. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Don't wait for a craving to hit before you think about doing something. Relapses happen long before the drink hits your throat. It happens in your head, when you become a passenger in your body instead of the driver.
It's hard, breaking the physical habit. Every part of your body wants to continue doing what you've been doing. You walk to the liquor store and it's like you're being held captive inside yoir own body. The rational part of your brain is screaming "stop! Stoooooop!" but you're a captive in your own body. The zombie your body has become shuffles home. You go through the motions, the familiar ritual, while that voice inside weeps and screams for you to stop. Eventually, that voice is quieted and it's nothing but the usual oblivion, shame and regret. Hopelessness engulfs you. Guess i'll try again tomorrow....
So what do you do? This sounds crazy but the first thing you do is change something. Even before that craving hits and you lose control of your body, you do something. Hit a meeting, call a friend, post on here, go to the gym, read a book on recovery. We all know our danger times. Is it when you go grocery shopping? Call someone to go with you. Whatever physical habits you have, break them early in the cycle. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Don't wait for a craving to hit before you think about doing something. Relapses happen long before the drink hits your throat. It happens in your head, when you become a passenger in your body instead of the driver.
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