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Old 05-29-2014, 02:32 AM
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Sober time

Hey all, I just wanted to say that when I sit in face to face meetings, from time to time, I find myself happy to know people with long term sobriety, and I get resentful all at the same time. How can they have made it so long and I am over here like the queen of 1 day relapses..... Some of the people I know real well are nothing more than dry drunks, yet are the most long winded at meetings.... (And no this isn't about inventory at all!!!) with that said.....
It doesn't matter if you have 2 days, 23 months, 35 years, we are all the same distance from a drink. The world record for sobriety is 24 hours at a time. So dont beat yourself up because you slipped by drinking, get back on the horse. Never stop working on that recovery!!!!!!
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Old 05-29-2014, 03:17 AM
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I gotta disagree with the get back on the horse thing. that same horse got me to the doors of AA. it wasn't gonna help me get sober. i had to kill it and decided to walk and use the steps.
beating myself up aint good, but i had to get serious about sobriety.

"How can they have made it so long and I am over here like the queen of 1 day relapses"
1st sentence of chapter 5:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

2 words can change location and still be true:
thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.

plus this helped me:
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

i made a decision to go to any lengths.


plus this:
We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.

and this:
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.


and this:
Half measures availed us nothing.


it is just one day at a time, but this is a serious disease, one that didnt want me to get serious about it. one that told me lies like," itll be ok to try again tomorrow." one that told me,"just one" many times. its a liar.
i got serious about recovery. seemd to work pretty good so far.

listening to them long winded dry drunks with many years without a drink helped,too. they weren't drinkin so they must have had something i would want to hear.
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:25 AM
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I'm speaking directly to the newcomers--- a skip isn't a failure, it's a setback, if you don't get up and keep fighting for recovery, then it's a failure. When the perspective goes from a lifetime to 24 hours at a time, it becomes much more realistic.

Thank you tom for breaking it down!
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:32 AM
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I'm glad you bolded the let go absolutely part b/c that was the kicker for me as well.
and I now say it to myself numerous times a day when I find myself trying to take control back. Which is quite often
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:39 AM
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Following this would probably eliminate 95% of relapses, it's that simple! LET IT GO.

BE WELL


Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
I gotta disagree with the get back on the horse thing. that same horse got me to the doors of AA. it wasn't gonna help me get sober. i had to kill it and decided to walk and use the steps.
beating myself up aint good, but i had to get serious about sobriety.

"How can they have made it so long and I am over here like the queen of 1 day relapses"
1st sentence of chapter 5:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

2 words can change location and still be true:
thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.

plus this helped me:
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

i made a decision to go to any lengths.


plus this:
We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.

and this:
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.


and this:
Half measures availed us nothing.


it is just one day at a time, but this is a serious disease, one that didnt want me to get serious about it. one that told me lies like," itll be ok to try again tomorrow." one that told me,"just one" many times. its a liar.
i got serious about recovery. seemd to work pretty good so far.

listening to them long winded dry drunks with many years without a drink helped,too. they weren't drinkin so they must have had something i would want to hear.
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:41 AM
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Originally Posted by ontherightpath View Post
Hey all, I just wanted to say that when I sit in face to face meetings, from time to time, I find myself happy to know people with long term sobriety, and I get resentful all at the same time. How can they have made it so long and I am over here like the queen of 1 day relapses..... Some of the people I know real well are nothing more than dry drunks, yet are the most long winded at meetings.... (And no this isn't about inventory at all!!!) with that said.....
It doesn't matter if you have 2 days, 23 months, 35 years, we are all the same distance from a drink. The world record for sobriety is 24 hours at a time. So dont beat yourself up because you slipped by drinking, get back on the horse. Never stop working on that recovery!!!!!!
Meetings are just a place to get sober. Just because someone has been sober for decades does not mean they have become mentally healthy. There are "those who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders MANY recover IF they have the capacity to be honest". Notice the MANY there - does not mean ALL "recover". Yeah, spiritual progress....being sober is relatively easy compared to finding spirituality amid a scattering of sociopaths and psychopaths. Those warm comforting rooms can hide people who are exactly the same as when they were drinking. The just don't drink anymore, but have exactly the same personality problems they did 20 years ago when they picked up the first chip. Not drinking is the easy part. Changing that part of YOU that made you drink is another ball game.
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:46 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
"How can they have made it so long and I am over here like the queen of 1 day relapses"
1st sentence of chapter 5:
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

2 words can change location and still be true:
thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.

plus this helped me:
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

i made a decision to go to any lengths.


plus this:
We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.

and this:
Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.


and this:
Half measures availed us nothing.

..

IF you are a believer in AA... which not everyone here is.
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Old 05-29-2014, 05:54 AM
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Originally Posted by ElleDee View Post
IF you are a believer in AA... which not everyone here is.
I personally suffered for too long before I became a believer after seeing at conferences and meetings in person the vast number it works for.
By the way I’m not a religious person, along with many others, but do believe in a power greater than myself which is a wall for many.

BE WELL
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Old 05-29-2014, 06:31 AM
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Originally Posted by ElleDee View Post
IF you are a believer in AA... which not everyone here is.
true, not everyone here is. however, the OP posted about f2f meetings and the sober people there. common sense told me that is AA. I am in the fellowship of AA, so I shared my experience and quotes from the BB.
but I really don't think a person has to be a believer in AA to at least look at the quotes and ask themselves if any of it is true for them.

did or does holding onto old ideas about your drinking work??
are you willing to go to any lengths to get sober?
did or does an easier softer way to get and stay sober work ?
did or do half measures to get and stay sober work?

doesn't necessarily mean a person has to use the program of AA, but they are good questions to answer.
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Old 05-29-2014, 03:50 PM
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Lets not get stuck in an I love/hate AA cul de sac.

I think Tom's absolutely right when he says getting back on the horse may not be enough, if you ride the horse exactly the same way and it throws you off again...

I always encourage people to think about what they can add to their personal recovery programmes, to make this attempt better than the last.

AA's a good suggestion because AA is very accessible - it's everywhere.
If meeting based recovery groups help, there are other options besides AA if AA is not your thing - you'll find most of them here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

D
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Old 05-29-2014, 04:08 PM
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one of the reasons that I stopped posting a long time ago was because of threads like this. The original poster had an intelligent thing to say and then others take it and run with it in a different direction. So I would like to thank the original poster for a positive thread. "never stop working on recovery". we all should have said thank you for that. Plain and simple. Hey...thanks....that inspires me to keep going.
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Old 05-29-2014, 07:47 PM
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It doesn't matter if you have 2 days, 23 months, 35 years, we are all the same distance from a drink. The world record for sobriety is 24 hours at a time. So dont beat yourself up because you slipped by drinking, get back on the horse.

OTRP,
i guess you're referring to the distance to the next drink?
research seems to bear out that the chances of relapsing diminish in proportion to length of sobriety, so while a next drink may 'happen', the chances that it will get less as we move into longer sobriety.

and in my own travels in sober life, yeah, it matters if i'm 2 days or 23 months or ...well, i'll let you know the view when i reach 35 years
there is a noticeable difference in how you feel and in how you see and react and act as time goes on.

yes! don't give up on recovering! keep going, but don't bother that same old horse again...it hasn't gotten you where you were aiming to go.
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