Mamahawk

I am 13 days in quitting a 20 year hydro addiction. The last two years of that addiction I took 12-14 at a time as many times a day as I could. I had to do it at least once. If I could do it twice, three , four times I would. I have taken up to 50 pills in a day if I could get them. I found SR and finally quit. I went cold turkey and survived. Still not sleeping much. It's driving me so crazy. I want to sleep. A real restful sleep. Not one riddled with nightmares. I feel like a zombie. And even though I don't sleep I still get up at a decent time and try to stay busy. I'm just tired.

Chicagoan

Weird vivid dreams and nightmares.
After a month of sobriety, I continue
to have them. It makes you dread
going to sleep. I can surely relate
to what you are going through.

FeenixxRising

Hang in there. You have 13 days, that's something to be proud of. But it will probably take a few weeks longer for your body to return to normal. A good diet and some light exercise can also help.

But the main thing is to ride out the discomfort; it should eventually get better.

Mamahawk

After a month??? Oh gosh...maybe I'll always have them and it will be the price I pay to clean...I just thought I would sleep by now. I'm getting lots of exercise but I'm not eating good and I'm chain smoking...outside I don't smoke in the house. I thought about quitting cigs to but I don't think I can now. I'm not overeating, I'm just eating more than normal for me. I would go days without eating on the pills because they worked better with no food. I went every single day only eating late at night after I had dosed for the day. I'm having to train myself to eat!

Mamahawk

My stomach was growling the other day and I was EAT SOMETHING already! Yiu don't have to not eat anymore. Lol

Mamahawk

This is my last chance to keep my family...

DisplacedGRITS

Have you spoken with a doctor?

Chicagoan

When I was drinking, I do not
recall having sleep disturbances.
Maybe I was too plastered to dream.

Mamahawk

No doctor I'm afraid it would trigger me

Dee74

If you're adamant about no doctor Mama, I guess you're just going to have to get through it day by day until your system gets itself back in balance.

I don't know how long that will be but you're not alone while you wait

D

DisplacedGRITS

What about going to the doctor could be triggering for you?

Mamahawk

I was a pill addict. It would be a huge trigger. Doctors office=crack house for me...
Dee they can't help me. I can't take anything. I will abuse any pill. I can't take benzos, sleep aids, I even abused Benadryl. I just have to get thru it. Talking helps.

DisplacedGRITS

I gotcha. I abused Ambien for a while. I had to come clean to my new doctor (i'd moved) about my alcoholism and Ambien abuse. Yeah, insomnia is pretty awful. I'm bipolar and when i run a little manic, i stay up for days.

This may sound silly, but when i'm laying in bed and can't sleep, i make up a story. A pretty epic story, actually. I imagine it in little segments every night. Half the time, i end up "rewriting" the last scene for a few nights. Then, i get bored and start a new story. I've done this since i was a child and it helps me sleep.

Heh...it probably sounds a little crazy.

Mamahawk

I'm having so much anxiety.

Mamahawk

That made smile displaced

acutelyacerbic

i know how you feel even though my vice was alcohol. ive only been a few weeks sober and i only sleep a few hours a night and my eating is terrible. Im trying to build up the courage to even go out the house at the moment as my brain and body feels like its on a rollercoaster. Im just afraid of the world right now
xxx

soberclover

I think things are really getting better for you as you talk about getting out for exercise ....that is huge! The sleep will come. It takes our body and mind time to heal. The nightmares will come and go but will go especially once you start experiencing some peace in your life from being clean. I think you are doing great!!!! Keep on keepin' on!

Mamahawk

Congrats acutely on a few weeks. I woke up more tired than ever today. It's going to be a long day.