Another beginner
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: In the tropics
Posts: 25
Another beginner
Hello all.
I am currently on day 4 without alcohol. It hasn't been great, but after reading many of the detox stories here I can say it hasn't been as bad as all that.
I am currently home from work waiting to go see a therapist I got an appointment with. My anxiety is quite high (although, truth be told, I've lived with anxiety since birth it seems so this seems normal to me), and my head is full of cotton. Cannot concentrate, moody, weepy and having some balance and coordination issues. No sweats or nausea, thankfully.
I have always been a social (albeit heavy) drinker and never had a problem with it. By this I mean that I never would drink in the house, and since I'm not all that social to begin with I didn't drink often. But when I did drink -- at the odd wedding or holiday -- I drank a lot. As did all my family and friends. I just believed it was a cultural thing.
About 4 years ago, I moved to another country and within a year of that move my business failed, my marriage failed, and I was left with a beautiful, wonderful (but special needs) daughter while my ex returned to our country of origin and remarried.
So, I started to drink a bit in the evenings -- just to take the edge of, you know?
Then the glass of wine turned to two, then three, then the bottle. I've been drinking daily ever since. Usually a bottle of wine a night; sometimes if I'm out of wine I'll have 4 scotches. That's about what it takes until I pass out.
I, too, have done some preeeeetty embarrassing things under the influence. The worst part is, that while I'm not a slurry, angry or really visible drunk, I am a supremely self-involved drunk and that's taken a toll on my daughter, who needs my attention and hasn't received much of it, to be honest.
I stopped drinking for a month, a couple of months ago and it was great. I felt really peaceful. Family came into town (which is one of my huge stressors), and I thought, "Well, I'll just have the one. I'm obviously not an addict since I stopped so easily." Hah. I'm sure you all know the story. After two days, I was right back at it.
So now I am here again. This time committed. But these first days are really being rough on me, and I don't have anyone to talk to. So I'm glad I found this place. I have a very high level, and high stress job so there's no way I can talk to anyone there. I'm in a country I don't really see much in the way of support systems like AA, although to be honest I've not really looked very hard. And... I'm worried if I go someone will recognize me, and then I will be stigmatized. Sounds silly, I know, but there you have it.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I'm just feeling a little raw, and lost and alone right now. Thank you for reading.
I am currently on day 4 without alcohol. It hasn't been great, but after reading many of the detox stories here I can say it hasn't been as bad as all that.
I am currently home from work waiting to go see a therapist I got an appointment with. My anxiety is quite high (although, truth be told, I've lived with anxiety since birth it seems so this seems normal to me), and my head is full of cotton. Cannot concentrate, moody, weepy and having some balance and coordination issues. No sweats or nausea, thankfully.
I have always been a social (albeit heavy) drinker and never had a problem with it. By this I mean that I never would drink in the house, and since I'm not all that social to begin with I didn't drink often. But when I did drink -- at the odd wedding or holiday -- I drank a lot. As did all my family and friends. I just believed it was a cultural thing.
About 4 years ago, I moved to another country and within a year of that move my business failed, my marriage failed, and I was left with a beautiful, wonderful (but special needs) daughter while my ex returned to our country of origin and remarried.
So, I started to drink a bit in the evenings -- just to take the edge of, you know?
Then the glass of wine turned to two, then three, then the bottle. I've been drinking daily ever since. Usually a bottle of wine a night; sometimes if I'm out of wine I'll have 4 scotches. That's about what it takes until I pass out.I, too, have done some preeeeetty embarrassing things under the influence. The worst part is, that while I'm not a slurry, angry or really visible drunk, I am a supremely self-involved drunk and that's taken a toll on my daughter, who needs my attention and hasn't received much of it, to be honest.
I stopped drinking for a month, a couple of months ago and it was great. I felt really peaceful. Family came into town (which is one of my huge stressors), and I thought, "Well, I'll just have the one. I'm obviously not an addict since I stopped so easily." Hah. I'm sure you all know the story. After two days, I was right back at it.
So now I am here again. This time committed. But these first days are really being rough on me, and I don't have anyone to talk to. So I'm glad I found this place. I have a very high level, and high stress job so there's no way I can talk to anyone there. I'm in a country I don't really see much in the way of support systems like AA, although to be honest I've not really looked very hard. And... I'm worried if I go someone will recognize me, and then I will be stigmatized. Sounds silly, I know, but there you have it.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I'm just feeling a little raw, and lost and alone right now. Thank you for reading.
You've found a great place for support and understanding and it's good to have you with us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome to SR, tuesdayschild.
Each withdrawal becomes progressively more difficult. We're glad you are having another go at it.
I like to listen to AA speakers on Youtube. It's great to feel connected to the largest club in the world that no one wants to join.
Each withdrawal becomes progressively more difficult. We're glad you are having another go at it.
I like to listen to AA speakers on Youtube. It's great to feel connected to the largest club in the world that no one wants to join.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland, UK
Posts: 90
Hi tuesdayschild. I'm a newcomer too.
I totally get what you mean about drinking to take the edge off going through a marriage ending.....that was definitely me. Like you, I was inclined to drink too much when I did drink, but going through a stressful divorce made things get a wee bitty out of control, more so than usual.
Just wanted to let you know I get where you are coming from. x
I totally get what you mean about drinking to take the edge off going through a marriage ending.....that was definitely me. Like you, I was inclined to drink too much when I did drink, but going through a stressful divorce made things get a wee bitty out of control, more so than usual.
Just wanted to let you know I get where you are coming from. x
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 135
Originally Posted by tuesdayschild 
Thank you all so much for your kind words and good wishes. I'm so glad I found this place.
Good luck! Post often!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: North Island NZ
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by tuesdayschild
Thank you all so much for your kind words and good wishes. I'm so glad I found this place.
Be strong buddy
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by tuesdayschild
Hello all.
I am currently on day 4 without alcohol. It hasn't been great, but after reading many of the detox stories here I can say it hasn't been as bad as all that.
I am currently home from work waiting to go see a therapist I got an appointment with. My anxiety is quite high (although, truth be told, I've lived with anxiety since birth it seems so this seems normal to me), and my head is full of cotton. Cannot concentrate, moody, weepy and having some balance and coordination issues. No sweats or nausea, thankfully.
I have always been a social (albeit heavy) drinker and never had a problem with it. By this I mean that I never would drink in the house, and since I'm not all that social to begin with I didn't drink often. But when I did drink -- at the odd wedding or holiday -- I drank a lot. As did all my family and friends. I just believed it was a cultural thing.
About 4 years ago, I moved to another country and within a year of that move my business failed, my marriage failed, and I was left with a beautiful, wonderful (but special needs) daughter while my ex returned to our country of origin and remarried.
So, I started to drink a bit in the evenings -- just to take the edge of, you know? Then the glass of wine turned to two, then three, then the bottle. I've been drinking daily ever since. Usually a bottle of wine a night; sometimes if I'm out of wine I'll have 4 scotches. That's about what it takes until I pass out.
I, too, have done some preeeeetty embarrassing things under the influence. The worst part is, that while I'm not a slurry, angry or really visible drunk, I am a supremely self-involved drunk and that's taken a toll on my daughter, who needs my attention and hasn't received much of it, to be honest.
I stopped drinking for a month, a couple of months ago and it was great. I felt really peaceful. Family came into town (which is one of my huge stressors), and I thought, "Well, I'll just have the one. I'm obviously not an addict since I stopped so easily." Hah. I'm sure you all know the story. After two days, I was right back at it.
So now I am here again. This time committed. But these first days are really being rough on me, and I don't have anyone to talk to. So I'm glad I found this place. I have a very high level, and high stress job so there's no way I can talk to anyone there. I'm in a country I don't really see much in the way of support systems like AA, although to be honest I've not really looked very hard. And... I'm worried if I go someone will recognize me, and then I will be stigmatized. Sounds silly, I know, but there you have it.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I'm just feeling a little raw, and lost and alone right now. Thank you for reading.
I am currently on day 4 without alcohol. It hasn't been great, but after reading many of the detox stories here I can say it hasn't been as bad as all that.
I am currently home from work waiting to go see a therapist I got an appointment with. My anxiety is quite high (although, truth be told, I've lived with anxiety since birth it seems so this seems normal to me), and my head is full of cotton. Cannot concentrate, moody, weepy and having some balance and coordination issues. No sweats or nausea, thankfully.
I have always been a social (albeit heavy) drinker and never had a problem with it. By this I mean that I never would drink in the house, and since I'm not all that social to begin with I didn't drink often. But when I did drink -- at the odd wedding or holiday -- I drank a lot. As did all my family and friends. I just believed it was a cultural thing.
About 4 years ago, I moved to another country and within a year of that move my business failed, my marriage failed, and I was left with a beautiful, wonderful (but special needs) daughter while my ex returned to our country of origin and remarried.
So, I started to drink a bit in the evenings -- just to take the edge of, you know?
Then the glass of wine turned to two, then three, then the bottle. I've been drinking daily ever since. Usually a bottle of wine a night; sometimes if I'm out of wine I'll have 4 scotches. That's about what it takes until I pass out.I, too, have done some preeeeetty embarrassing things under the influence. The worst part is, that while I'm not a slurry, angry or really visible drunk, I am a supremely self-involved drunk and that's taken a toll on my daughter, who needs my attention and hasn't received much of it, to be honest.
I stopped drinking for a month, a couple of months ago and it was great. I felt really peaceful. Family came into town (which is one of my huge stressors), and I thought, "Well, I'll just have the one. I'm obviously not an addict since I stopped so easily." Hah. I'm sure you all know the story. After two days, I was right back at it.
So now I am here again. This time committed. But these first days are really being rough on me, and I don't have anyone to talk to. So I'm glad I found this place. I have a very high level, and high stress job so there's no way I can talk to anyone there. I'm in a country I don't really see much in the way of support systems like AA, although to be honest I've not really looked very hard. And... I'm worried if I go someone will recognize me, and then I will be stigmatized. Sounds silly, I know, but there you have it.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I'm just feeling a little raw, and lost and alone right now. Thank you for reading.
Look forward to more of your posts.
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