My Pro/Con list
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 39
My Pro/Con list
I have been mentally composing my Pro/Con list for quitting drinking. This is what I've got so far. Please add any incentives that I have missed! Thanks all!
Pros
1. An end to the endless pain in my liver and kidneys, and accompanying bloating in my abdomen.
2. No longer feeling like I'm sleepwalking every moment of every day
3. Remembering every conversation that I have with my children so that I don't have to hear them say "Mom, don't you remember? We just talked about this last night!", the next morning.
4. Never again becoming overly emotional (ie. balling my eyes out and demanding an in-depth discussion of my views) about things that I would normally handle more eloquently if only I was sober.
5. Never having to schedule all appointments early in the morning so that I can ALMOST guarantee being sober enough to drive there.
6. Losing 10-15 lbs of weight that can be solely attributed to alcohol consumption, and/or the rapid scarfing down of the quickest food that I can find because I am too wasted to bother making anything more healthy, which would require effort.
7. Never failing another breathalyzer with my child in my vehicle.
8. Never again damaging my vehicle because I was tipsy, and attributing it to "woman driving", as a preferred explanation
9. Never foisting my superior (aka drunk) opinions on my loved ones and Facebook friends lol.
10. Never transferring funds from account to account in order to hide the withdrawals I make to purchase alcohol.
11. Actually (as opposed to what I tell my husband) saving myself about $400/month.
12. Living life instead of thinking about what I remember it to be.
Cons
1. Not drinking anymore
2. Giving up numbness
3. Acknowledging that I have a problem to the people that I convince myself don't already know.
4. Feeling like a failure because I'm not a "normal" drinker.
Wow...I'm a dumbass
Pros
1. An end to the endless pain in my liver and kidneys, and accompanying bloating in my abdomen.
2. No longer feeling like I'm sleepwalking every moment of every day
3. Remembering every conversation that I have with my children so that I don't have to hear them say "Mom, don't you remember? We just talked about this last night!", the next morning.
4. Never again becoming overly emotional (ie. balling my eyes out and demanding an in-depth discussion of my views) about things that I would normally handle more eloquently if only I was sober.
5. Never having to schedule all appointments early in the morning so that I can ALMOST guarantee being sober enough to drive there.
6. Losing 10-15 lbs of weight that can be solely attributed to alcohol consumption, and/or the rapid scarfing down of the quickest food that I can find because I am too wasted to bother making anything more healthy, which would require effort.
7. Never failing another breathalyzer with my child in my vehicle.
8. Never again damaging my vehicle because I was tipsy, and attributing it to "woman driving", as a preferred explanation
9. Never foisting my superior (aka drunk) opinions on my loved ones and Facebook friends lol.
10. Never transferring funds from account to account in order to hide the withdrawals I make to purchase alcohol.
11. Actually (as opposed to what I tell my husband) saving myself about $400/month.
12. Living life instead of thinking about what I remember it to be.
Cons
1. Not drinking anymore
2. Giving up numbness
3. Acknowledging that I have a problem to the people that I convince myself don't already know.
4. Feeling like a failure because I'm not a "normal" drinker.
Wow...I'm a dumbass
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tampa, fl
Posts: 115
No, you are not a dumbass.
You are reasonable and you are scared. We have all been there. I am there right now.
You are not a failure. There are plenty of people who don't mix well with alcohol. At least you are intelligent enough to know you are not one of them and to want to do something about it.
You can do this! We are all here to support you. You've so got this.
You are reasonable and you are scared. We have all been there. I am there right now.
You are not a failure. There are plenty of people who don't mix well with alcohol. At least you are intelligent enough to know you are not one of them and to want to do something about it.
You can do this! We are all here to support you. You've so got this.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 32
i could have written that list. My additions would be:
1. Actually seeing these years go by without being in a numbed, self-induced blur.
2. Ridding myself of the constant guilt I feel for drinking.
3. Not waking up in a number of years and seeing my children off to college knowing their mom spent much of their childhood out of it. I know they know but I try to hide it.
Cons:
1. It's hard to deal with life sober. It really is. It hurts too much.
1. Actually seeing these years go by without being in a numbed, self-induced blur.
2. Ridding myself of the constant guilt I feel for drinking.
3. Not waking up in a number of years and seeing my children off to college knowing their mom spent much of their childhood out of it. I know they know but I try to hide it.
Cons:
1. It's hard to deal with life sober. It really is. It hurts too much.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Freshperspective14 
Cons
1. Not drinking anymore
2. Giving up numbness
3. Acknowledging that I have a problem to the people that I convince myself don't already know.
4. Feeling like a failure because I'm not a "normal" drinker.
1. Not drinking anymore
2. Giving up numbness
3. Acknowledging that I have a problem to the people that I convince myself don't already know.
4. Feeling like a failure because I'm not a "normal" drinker.
2 is addiction talking - eventually alcohol wont' even make you numb anymore, you will need it just to feel "normal". And the next stage after that you just feel like sh*t all the time no matter how much you drink
3 - you don't need to admit to anyone except yourself.
4 - you cannot fail at something you cannot control. You can fail at not working to make things better, but you are here and trying - that is all you can ask for.
So to me it looks like there are no CONS to stopping for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Not too sure how "not drinking anymore" in of itself can be a con, isn't the purpose of the list to figure out which is more beneficial, drinking or not drinking?
But on the whole a great list of pros!!
But on the whole a great list of pros!!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Freshperspective14
4. Feeling like a failure because I'm not a "normal" drinker.
Normal drinkers don't do anything special. They just drink. It means nothing to them. People who overcome an addiction, on the other hand, those people can do ANYTHING.
Best of Luck on Your Journey!
recovering using AVRT
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 294
You're not a dumbass but I certainly understand that feeling. One big CON when I quit drinking was that I didn't know what to do with all my free time. I was painfully bored. And we all know that boredom is the devil's playground! After a couple weeks when I started feeling more confident with my sobriety I found all kinds of sober things to do to keep myself busy.
A couple PROS for me:
I realized that all the bad things happening around me weren't necessarily my fault (for example…my ex wasn't a butthole to me because I was a drunk….he was a butthole to me because he was a mean SOB. Sobriety allowed me the strength to leave him instead of feeling like he was all I deserved).
I no longer suffered from backaches, migraines and chronic ear infections. I felt healthy!
And I understand why you put "not drinking" under the CONS. Drinking is/was a HUGE aspect of our lives!! Good or bad you are still removing it and that's scary!!! Soon enough you will move it to the PROS though. ;-)
A couple PROS for me:
I realized that all the bad things happening around me weren't necessarily my fault (for example…my ex wasn't a butthole to me because I was a drunk….he was a butthole to me because he was a mean SOB. Sobriety allowed me the strength to leave him instead of feeling like he was all I deserved).
I no longer suffered from backaches, migraines and chronic ear infections. I felt healthy!
And I understand why you put "not drinking" under the CONS. Drinking is/was a HUGE aspect of our lives!! Good or bad you are still removing it and that's scary!!! Soon enough you will move it to the PROS though. ;-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 39
[/Quote]And I understand why you put "not drinking" under the CONS. Drinking is/was a HUGE aspect of our lives!! Good or bad you are still removing it and that's scary!!! Soon enough you will move it to the PROS though. ;-)[/QUOTE]
Yes, I put "not drinking" under the cons because at this time, when I pour that first glass of wine, there is nothing else in the world that I want more. But I hope to someday feel the opposite...
Yes, I put "not drinking" under the cons because at this time, when I pour that first glass of wine, there is nothing else in the world that I want more. But I hope to someday feel the opposite...
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Freshperspective14
at this time, when I pour that first glass of wine, there is nothing else in the world that I want more. But I hope to someday feel the opposite...
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Not being able to drink like a normie doesn't mean you're a failure. What it means is that you have a different relationship with alcohol. It doesn't make you worse than someone who's lactose intolerant yet eats ice cream. Alcoholics process alcohol differently than normies. If controlling one's drinking was a matter of willpower, i'd be sober. It takes a lot of willpower to drink the way i did. I mean, what normie is going to force alcohol down and keep it down despite his or her stomach rejecting any and all other liquids or foods? Willpower at work right there.
Something i work on is not comparing my insides to other people's outsides. I've got no idea what's going on in an apparently "normal" person's head. Who knows what they do to deal with their problems. Maybe they stuff theor emotions until those emotions explode into some kind of behavior, just like me. Who knows? All i can to is be my best self every day.
Something i work on is not comparing my insides to other people's outsides. I've got no idea what's going on in an apparently "normal" person's head. Who knows what they do to deal with their problems. Maybe they stuff theor emotions until those emotions explode into some kind of behavior, just like me. Who knows? All i can to is be my best self every day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 375
"An end to the endless pain in my liver and kidneys, and accompanying bloating in my abdomen"
I'm going to be honest here. If you have these sorts of pains you could be in serious trouble with your health. I think that goes beyond writing lists of pros and cons. I think you should see a doctor.
Good luck.
I'm going to be honest here. If you have these sorts of pains you could be in serious trouble with your health. I think that goes beyond writing lists of pros and cons. I think you should see a doctor.
Good luck.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Freshperspective14
when I pour that first glass of wine, there is nothing else in the world that I want more.
Your addiction is causing chaos in your head, and you want (even temporary) relief from that. It isn't your greatest desire, but it is the most immediate and the loudest.
When part of your own brain is working against you (because it is addicted to alcohol) it is a formidable enemy, but it can be overcome. It is simply a feeling, and feelings don't have to be acted upon.
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