The Perks of Being a People Pleaser
 

36 days! My last attempt got me to 52 days but things are different this time. Before, I had no one to be accountable to. This time, I have joined AA and made my husband aware that I am, in fact, an alcoholic and can never drink again. When I first walked into AA I was scared. I really had no idea how the program worked but I knew I was out of options. I made a couple of friends rather quickly and this is helping me stay sober. I DO NOT like letting people down. Even when I was drinking, I managed to keep up with my obligations but had a keen way of limiting any accountability by not letting myself be counted on except for my son. I went to many a practice/bday party/school event hungover as hell, but I was there (it's so much easier sober) I have so many people rooting for me now. It's so nice to have people care about whether or not I stay sober. I know that I have to stay sober for me but while I am healing and filling my toolbox with the tools that will keep me sober, not letting others down is a good motivation.

Isolation is a killer and it puts you behind the starting block when trying to recover. Having a support network, I believe, is the key to recovery. I can't get to meetings everyday because of the distance, but when I'm not at a meeting I am reading posts on SR. I want to be more active on SR so I have even more accountability, I usually don't sign in when I am reading on my phone. I give many thanks for the amazing support on this site.

Peace and love to you all, I hope you all find the serenity you seek. :tyou

Well done on first admitting you have a problem but more importantly having the courage and desire to make a change,
Congratulations.

I'm really glad things are going well Jill :)

D

Very good. :)

I "need" real live face to face meetings in my life. Those people can see on my face when I'm not myself, or tell me how good I am doing even if I don't see it myself sometimes.

Online stuff is very good when I need to get out of my head, or when it's 1:00am and I'm just not the kind of person to "use the phone list" at that hour. It's always been a good supplement but not a 100% solution for me.

I try to use neutral language about recovery programs, but I will say that even though I am mostly doing something else now, I learned a lot from AA and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I am in a good place when I hear useful things that inspire me to live right or be a better person, so I hope that is what you will find too!

Jill, I'm glad you posted and that you are feeling good about the support here.

SR has been a lifeline for me for many years and I hope you continue to read and post.

I agree isolation is not good, that's why I love SR. I'm really not a people person to say :)

I clicked on this thread with a bunch of immediate self-riteous stuff forming in my head in the general vein of "too often people-pleasing is a huge part of why we struggle with alcohol" but then I read it and it turns out it's a super-cool thread and I'm sorry for coming into your thread with pre-emptively non-constructive intent.

:)

Thank you for being honest, free owl. I titled my thread like that for a reason. Feeling like I had to take care of everyone before myself was one of the reasons I drank. Now, not letting anyone down is almost a selfish act as well:) My recovery is the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed and not letting those who love me down, is icing on the sober cake:)