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Old 05-28-2014, 12:47 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Flakey, I tried moderating my drinking, many times, It never worked for long, I drank to get buzzed or drunk.
I wonder why alcohol is the only drug we hear about moderating, is it because it is legal and socialy accepted, Ive never heard about anyone tryng to moderate heroine for example.

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Old 05-28-2014, 12:53 AM
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Good point Stiv! I suppose because it's only been a few days since I admitted to myself that this is a problem the prospect of never drinking again seems unreal when it has been such a big part of my life since my teens (although only recently to excess)
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:04 AM
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I drank in a manner that wasn't out of control (but often abusive) for many years. Heck, I was able to quit nearly cold turkey for a while when I had to work 3 jobs. When I was able to return to a more normal work schedule, alcohol was there waiting for me. I drank again and it kept increasing until I found myself drinking nearly constantly. My work life had become very minimal. I was self employed and only worked on occasion. So I was able to drink round the clock.

I thought that if I just cut back, I could return to a level of drinking that was manageable. What I didn't count on was becoming a pickle. I heard someone say at a meeting one day that a cucumber could become a pickle but a pickle could never become a cucumber. I'm a pickle now. I accept that I will never be able to moderate my drinking and enjoy it and if I can't enjoy it, why have it in my life at all? I'm fine being a pickle, just so long as I continue to accept that and stop trying to be a cucumber on occasion.

I mangled that, Lol.
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:17 AM
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I suspect I may be a variety of pickle!!
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:18 AM
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Welcome to the jar!
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:20 AM
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hahahaha that gave me a good laugh
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:26 AM
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"We are not a glum lot." One of my favorite quotes!
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Old 10-17-2014, 01:11 AM
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Back again!

First joined in May, lasted a few days and then spent the whole Summer drinking daily. Had a wake up call last weekend. I wanted to watch a movie on Sunday afternoon that I had recorded. I went to watch it and it was already 88 minutes into the movie! Found out later that I have spent Saturday evening watching it with my son and couldn't remember. Very scary. So I tapered Sunday and Monday and am now on day 4. Longest I have gone in a year. Days 1 and 2 weren't great but nothing I couldn't handle. Feeling better today and sleeping well. I can't believe how hungry I am!

Bit of background - I am a 46 year old mother of two teens recently divorced. I am happy to be out of the relationship but I suppose it gave me the time and financial freedom to drink whenever I want.

Also , haven't smoked in four days either as smoking and drinking went hand in hand for me.
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Old 10-17-2014, 01:17 AM
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Well done on 4 days, I'm only day 2 here now. Stick around, you will find a lot of support here.
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Old 10-17-2014, 01:33 AM
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I am also hoping that if I get a couple of weeks under my belt I can go back on the low dose anti depressants I was on a few years back for my GAD and mild agoraphobia. They really helped then but I didn't see the point in taking them as my drinking progressed as they would hardly have worked when I was downing at least a couple of bottles of wine a day would they? Time to rearrange the order of priorities in my life!
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Old 10-17-2014, 02:00 AM
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Welcome, Flakey. I tried to drink in moderation for some years, but it has never worked for me, because once I was on the way to being drunk, that's where I was definitely going. Then in the morning, it would be, oh no, I did it again, and that empty bottle of wine by my bed.
So I've given up completely, and the money I spent on wine I am saving, that's about £30 a week, or about £20 dollars, for a holiday with my grandchildren.
As for strength and willpower to stop, I reached a point where I realised it was eventually going to make me very ill and ultimately kill me. I want to live. I think it was more of a decision, and once made, it was easier to work within that.
So I've been sober for a week now, not far in, but this is first sober week I have had for over 20 years. Feels amazing, feels great to have that control. I might have a long road ahead, but that' s fine.
I have mental health issues too, but I will cope with things as they come, and get help, talk on here, keep going. I've made that decision, whatever it brings.

I hope you find all the support you need here, and make the choices that are healthy for you. Everyone is so supportive and non judgemental here, it's a life-saving place.
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Old 10-17-2014, 02:08 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Thanks JanieJ I know what you mean. There is the acknowledging it's a problem, then coming to terms with the fact that you have to do something about it and then actually doing something about it. I have to say though I am surprised at how little withdrawal symptoms I have had (just finding it hard to sleep, sweating and slight paranoia first couple of days) given the amount I was drinking
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Old 10-17-2014, 02:41 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Hi Flakey,

Glad you are here! This is a great site and full of inspiration, motivation and support.

I am making a point to poke my head in here at least once a day to read, or if I feel I have something to say, to post. Its really helping confirm my resolve to be alcohol free.

I tried moderation up, down and sideways because I just didn't want to let it go.
I found it much more freeing to finally just quit.

Now, I am no model citizen for sobriety. I relapsed seven days ago after a year and a half…all for some dumb dinner party…but it made me realize I still hadn't let it go and I still need to work on myself. Sadly, It doesn't just go away on its own.

SR is great because at any time there is someone here to offer support, and somewhere in the threads there is something someone has written that can be identified with.

You can do this!
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Old 10-17-2014, 03:03 AM
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yes you are right there are lots of things I can identify with that people have written. Things like passing out at bedtime and waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning full of anxiety. I thought it was just me!
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Old 10-17-2014, 03:25 AM
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Welcome back Flakey

D
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Old 10-17-2014, 03:37 AM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Welcome Flakey,
Im on day 3 again, this time with better tools and support to start a new life with out drinking. I started out trying to cut back and stressed out on how I would only drink 1 or 2 from time to time. I knew that that program did not work in the past for me and after reading a lot of posts here It seems it is not the way to go. Yesterday when I joined I made the decision not to drink at all, I feel better about the commitment rather then trying to figure out when I would drink and then how much and deep down knowing that would start the cycle that brought me here again. I liked the pickle story, I'm one and I'm out of the Jar , Thank God, Got to go and start my new day and whats pretty cool is I will remember it all as long as I don't drink .
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Old 10-17-2014, 03:47 AM
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The day drinking is where it really unravelled for me and I was drinking to feel normal within a few hours of waking up. My advice would be to see a Dr and be brutally honest about your drinking. There is nothing to be ashamed of and they may prescribe something to help you through withdrawals- the awful feeling you get when you wake in the morning is probably alcohol withdrawal. The anxiety will get better the more sober time you have. Don't worry about moderating or questioning whether you can drink normally, take it one day at a time and give your body a chance to heal. Read here and post if you can as there are some great people who want to help. You will feel better if you stop drinking it only gets worse.
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Old 10-17-2014, 04:00 AM
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Same for me Pipping I would wake up resolving not to drink and then began feeling gradually worse as the day went on and would drink again just to feel normal
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Old 10-17-2014, 07:47 AM
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You are in the right place, listening to the right people....keep doing that ;-)

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Old 10-17-2014, 08:13 AM
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Willpower is a terrible word

First of all, if you have the disease of alcoholism, you have no power over it.

Second of all, it is not by your will that you will not take a drink, but by the will of a higher power. You need to hand your day (minute by minute) to a higher power.

That's just how I see it.
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