My life is a pile of crap
 

I was recently in detox and my husband told me he wants a divorce. I'm staying with a friend, living out of a suitcase and I hate it.

He is giving me a payout and when I can get my head screwed on straight, I'm going to get a place so I can get my beloved dog back.

I feel so empty and lost. I'm not suicidal, I am just so depressed. I just want to be numb and I have been. Drinking and smoking weed. Surprisingly, the drinking is not out of control YET. I know it will be if I keep it up and I'm a good little SR and will go to detox AGAIN if I get physically addicted again.

My heart is so broken. I'm so lost.

Hi, Elisabeth :hug:

Sorry about all this.

Focus on your sobriety now.

J.K. Rowling said :"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life".

Make sobriety solid foundation, and then one day at a time, one brick at a time, you will rebuilt your new life.

Keep posting. Keep your faith. Keep your chin up.

Sorry about your troubles.
Not sure why you would be drinking/smoking again if it brought you so much trouble.
But,I hope you can stop before it all ends up even worse than it is now.

You've lost quite a lot. How much further down are you going to dig?

Sounds like you're looking for more pain and sorrow. Why is that? You could start working on making a better life for yourself if you would stop drinking and smoking weed.

Are you going to meetings or seeing a therapist?

So sorry E, we are here for you. Down the road the divorce may seem like a good thing (been there), but not now, either way we need each other so stay in touch.

Elisabeth, I'm so sorry life is so rough for you right now. :( Keep posting.

I see three shining rays of light in your crappy situation.

I find that when I'm in a super crappy situation, focusing on the shining rays of light is a great way to get through.

I also find that we get more of what we focus on, so here are the rays of light I'd like to reflect;

1 - You are here, posting on this site, having recently been in detox and though you are drinking and smoking a part of you obviously doesn't want to be or you wouldnt even BE here. The shining ray of light is the Self within you who loves you and wants you to leave this cycle and make a change in your life that honors the REAL you, behind the haze of addiction. Focus on that Self, let that Self shine through and listen and honor.... you have the blessing of a chance to accept that Self and take action to move to a better place. You know that smoking and drinking is working against you. That is a gift because it's a place to start.

2 - In the ruin of your situation, you have at least a cushion. You have some financial resources coming to you that - assuming you get your ***t together and don't descend into a binge-land of darkness, depression and addiction and lose it all - will give you something upon which to start anew.

3 - You have a dog. Life is always a little better with a dog.

Please don't wait until you 'get physically addicted again'. You know what will change things for the better, for REAL. Focus on that. Put down the booze and the smoke.

:ring

See the correlation?

Forgo getting numb and work on finding yourself...the sober self.

I am sorry you're going thru all this but drinking won't make it any better. :hug:

Be the person your dog thinks you are.

Sad to hear you are having a hard time. Looks like we joined SR a month apart and have both struggled quite a bit. One thing I know for me is that I wouldnt get sober again until I felt I really needed it. It takes what it takes and all that. The thing is when I go on a run I know it will have to end someday. My last run ended a week ago. I hope yours ends soon.

Stay close. We are here. I sent you a PM.

Another familiar name and avatar..
Hello Elisabeth...
We can get back to good...
I got both hands on this wagon and I too am trying to haul myself in entirely and completely.
We can do this.

Hey Elizabeth ,
You help so many people here when you're sober with the nice and kind things you post , i hope you come back to sobriety so we can have that you back again :)

Be careful , m

My life is a pile of crap/snip

I smiled because it sounds like something I would say. So what now? Please tell me your options.

You have SR and you have AA. Please give sobriety another chance...coming back is tough but the longer you wait the more difficult it will be.
Why don't you start today?
Dump your booze and your weed and join us at the 24 hours club then pick up that very heavy phone and call one of the ladies you know and like in AA (does not have to be your sponsor just someone who is comfy) and ask her to take you or meet you at a meeting. You can do it, you got support! Use it!!!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4668995

Elisabeth, I am sending hugs and prayers your way.

You can get through this.

There's some really great advice here Elisabeth.

I think the best advice was to stop digging that hole. You've already lost so much. Stop the rot now.

Take care of yourself - you deserve it :)

D

Sorry to hear you're struggling - and great to see you here posting. I think we all can tell that you're ready to get back on track. The 24-hour club was a great idea, I hope you join up. Keep posting, you've got some great support here ready to pick you up.