Why am I only an super alcoholic sometimes?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 20
Why am I only an super alcoholic sometimes?
My alcoholism is so erratic. Sometimes I am a functioning alcoholic. I drink 8-10 beer a night then go to bed at a decent time and get up for work the next day.
Not normal by any standard, but I make it work. Every once in a while though
Something just clicks in my brain, and when I have that first beer of the night
I know that I'm going on a bender. nothing can stop it. Nothing
I just woke up after neglecting work for 3 days. I'm working out of town and my girlfriends dad is my boss and temporary landlord
My room looks like a used liquor store and I have been smoking in the house
Which I was told would **** him over for the damage deposit
And my co worker and friend who is living here asked if I'm ready to go back
To work. I said yah but I realized that I physically cannot, I told him I'm still sick
Not that he believes me, he can smell the smoke coming from my room and the occasional beer can I left when I did decide to go out for a smoke
I want to go back to work, but my central nervous system has been sleeping for
3 days. I need to drink. In fact the last time I was in this state a qualified nurse told me thAt whatever I do don't stop drinking until I get in to detox
So I I just cracked a beer, and I know in a about 20 minutes this will not be a
Burden on me anymore, I'll be listening to led zeppelin at full volume smoking more cigarettes an hour than they can make em
Don't know why I even came on here, maybe a note to my self that I can pull up
On google one day. Or maybe as a deterrent for those thinking about
Relapsing. Don't know and don't care any more. Stay clean and serene, peace
Not normal by any standard, but I make it work. Every once in a while though
Something just clicks in my brain, and when I have that first beer of the night
I know that I'm going on a bender. nothing can stop it. Nothing
I just woke up after neglecting work for 3 days. I'm working out of town and my girlfriends dad is my boss and temporary landlord
My room looks like a used liquor store and I have been smoking in the house
Which I was told would **** him over for the damage deposit
And my co worker and friend who is living here asked if I'm ready to go back
To work. I said yah but I realized that I physically cannot, I told him I'm still sick
Not that he believes me, he can smell the smoke coming from my room and the occasional beer can I left when I did decide to go out for a smoke
I want to go back to work, but my central nervous system has been sleeping for
3 days. I need to drink. In fact the last time I was in this state a qualified nurse told me thAt whatever I do don't stop drinking until I get in to detox
So I I just cracked a beer, and I know in a about 20 minutes this will not be a
Burden on me anymore, I'll be listening to led zeppelin at full volume smoking more cigarettes an hour than they can make em
Don't know why I even came on here, maybe a note to my self that I can pull up
On google one day. Or maybe as a deterrent for those thinking about
Relapsing. Don't know and don't care any more. Stay clean and serene, peace
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
What difference does it make that this only happens sometimes? One of those sometimes could be the time that wrecks your life. If alcohol is causing problems, stop drinking. It's simple but not easy, but it can be done. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
I hope you'll continue post Isaidyesyesyes.
My experience is sometimes I had things that meant I could not drink as much as I wanted - ie work or whatever.
Most times, when I had a day or two off, I drank til I fell down.
I was always an alcoholic, workday or not.
Eventually I ended up drinking like I had a day off, even when I didn't.
Like I said, I hope you'll stick around
D
My experience is sometimes I had things that meant I could not drink as much as I wanted - ie work or whatever.
Most times, when I had a day or two off, I drank til I fell down.
I was always an alcoholic, workday or not.
Eventually I ended up drinking like I had a day off, even when I didn't.
Like I said, I hope you'll stick around
D
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
I bet you'll find lots of people who care (although Dee IS an extra-special-caring type), so like he said, stick around and get some support to help you through this rough time.
I think you should put the drinks down and seek some medical attention and then come back here and try to get on a healthier track in life.
I think you should put the drinks down and seek some medical attention and then come back here and try to get on a healthier track in life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 20
I tried that last year. Me and my gf broke up and I drank for a Month straight , my parents sent me to rehab. I just don't know if I was made for sobriety, and dee I'm sorry I really do a appreciate your comment.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Please DO come back Isaidyes. You are not alone and never have to be. It could help you a lot to keep posting - you can be honest with us because we truly understand.
I was drinking 24/7 when I found SR. I didn't intend to get sober when I found this place, but something led me here & I never left. I found the courage to get sober because I knew I'd have support and understanding. I'm glad you found us & I hope you come back.
I was drinking 24/7 when I found SR. I didn't intend to get sober when I found this place, but something led me here & I never left. I found the courage to get sober because I knew I'd have support and understanding. I'm glad you found us & I hope you come back.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 65
Originally Posted by Isaidyesyesyes 
My alcoholism is so erratic.
nothing can stop it. Nothing
nothing can stop it. Nothing
nothing can stop it? really? I surely don't have it down yet, but I've read enough and have experienced it firsthand enough. what stops it is not taking that first drink. it absolutely will stop it. do you really want to go on like this? it will only get worse. I'm very early in recovery, not even sure I can even claim that, but I can read a map and I know where it leads. The stories in the recovery area are worth a read as is the thread on Under the Influence book
Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
spend time reading threads here and posting instead of.. well, you know
Just a Sober ******* Now
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: S.IN
Posts: 150
Best of luck!
I too was a sometimes "under control" drinker. After gaining a touch of clarity, I realized that I was never under control... I was just fighting it, which was almost as physically and mentally exhausting as the benders. The longer I fought it, the longer and worse the benders were. I knew I had a problem, but I was striving to find that balance to be a "functioning alcoholic".
What happened, for me, was I took those steps back through the doors of AA... Luckily, someone pulled me aside and explained my condition in simple terms: Alcoholism means an allergy to alcohol. An alcoholic's body processes alcohol differently than a normal person. It fit my case to a "T"... Once that first drink was in my system, there was no telling what the outcome would be. Sometimes I could fight it and be "responsible", but I was just as likely to wind up drunk, obnoxious, and left in one helluva bad physical and mental state. In seeing normal people drink, they get to a point where they become tired and are ready to stop, whereas I was on a mission.
I can't speak for you, but I know that one day, I wasn't going to make it back from one of those missions.
I too was a sometimes "under control" drinker. After gaining a touch of clarity, I realized that I was never under control... I was just fighting it, which was almost as physically and mentally exhausting as the benders. The longer I fought it, the longer and worse the benders were. I knew I had a problem, but I was striving to find that balance to be a "functioning alcoholic".
What happened, for me, was I took those steps back through the doors of AA... Luckily, someone pulled me aside and explained my condition in simple terms: Alcoholism means an allergy to alcohol. An alcoholic's body processes alcohol differently than a normal person. It fit my case to a "T"... Once that first drink was in my system, there was no telling what the outcome would be. Sometimes I could fight it and be "responsible", but I was just as likely to wind up drunk, obnoxious, and left in one helluva bad physical and mental state. In seeing normal people drink, they get to a point where they become tired and are ready to stop, whereas I was on a mission.
I can't speak for you, but I know that one day, I wasn't going to make it back from one of those missions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 38
It is definitely smart to NOT quit cold turkey if you have been drinking for days on end. A good friend of mine died at 30 years old from a withdrawal seizure because he decided to go cold turkey. I was a weekend binge drinker so I never had that to worry about. I would drink a couple nights in a row, and then not drink until the following weekend, sometimes skipping a few weeks in the interest of health. That said, my binge drinking had to be hell on my body.
I had a really warped thought process about my drinking. If I drank myself into oblivion, say close to 30 beers, but nothing "bad" happened, then I thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. The only time I felt it was a problem was if something "bad" happened. "Bad" would be a fist fight, a blackout, driving drunk, embarrassing myself, or something along those lines.
I had a really warped thought process about my drinking. If I drank myself into oblivion, say close to 30 beers, but nothing "bad" happened, then I thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. The only time I felt it was a problem was if something "bad" happened. "Bad" would be a fist fight, a blackout, driving drunk, embarrassing myself, or something along those lines.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 20
I just woke up, out of one hell of a lucid dream that I would not wish on hitler.covered in sweat shaking uncontrollably. It's a miracle that I even made it to the fridge to get the cure. If you are contemplating drinking . Please don't, it's not worth it. There is no amount of pleasure that equals a fair trade off for this
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Its a false premise. Don't forget your audience...we've been there.
That beer is not a cure - it's just another daily inoculation of your disease.
It's not keeping you alive - it's giving you a false burst of functionality and whispering sweet nothings in your ear while slowly poisoning you to death.
If you want off the merry go round you have to resign yourself to not drinking and to a few days of feeling really bad while the poison leaves your body.
If you're not up for that challenge yet, that's your call - it's a terrifying prospect...
but don't give any false nobility to what you're doing.
Drinking like most of us did is a long slow sad suicide, and there's nothing romantic, or fatalistic, about it.
I believe you're here for a reason, and it's not just to warn others, is it?
D
That beer is not a cure - it's just another daily inoculation of your disease.
It's not keeping you alive - it's giving you a false burst of functionality and whispering sweet nothings in your ear while slowly poisoning you to death.
If you want off the merry go round you have to resign yourself to not drinking and to a few days of feeling really bad while the poison leaves your body.
If you're not up for that challenge yet, that's your call - it's a terrifying prospect...
but don't give any false nobility to what you're doing.
Drinking like most of us did is a long slow sad suicide, and there's nothing romantic, or fatalistic, about it.
I believe you're here for a reason, and it's not just to warn others, is it?
D
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