Kaskade

Hi Everyone!

I must start with mentioning I greatly appreciate everyone's sincere kindness on this forum.

To start off with, I began drinking 4 years ago (when I was 19, which scares me as I thought it was 3 years) - I left home at 18 out of arrogance to live on my own and begin my life. I studied at University for a year but then went to full time work. I climbed very fast and decided to take to drinking as a way to express myself at home and decipher the days. Here I am 4 years later, I haven't really had a sober night in 2 years, and although only admitting my problem recently - I have lied about my 'recovery' to even my family and friends.

I am so lost on finding motivation to quit, it's not only a habbit but again a way to just cope with my long hours and huge stress. The hardest part is I am lying to my loved ones, which honestly affects me most. But it just isn't enough reason for me to quit, which is just so entirely selfish.

I definitely deserve a slap across the head for treating my loved ones like this, but I am sincerely asking for genuine reasons for motivation to quit. I feel like life is just going so well that I don't see any downside (regardless of finances).

Any reply - really, thankyou for your time. It's amazing people would reach out in their own kindness.

Lola23

Hi Kaskade - I'm new here too and I don't have any suggestions as of yet, but just wanted to say hi. And hoping that by joining this thread, I can gain some insight from others' thoughts.

AlliH

Hey, I'm new here too. Today is day 4 for me of sobriety. I'm quitting because I say and do things while drinking that I feel ashamed of later... And for my health. I don't want to age young or kill myself by drinking. I want to be healthy.

Mentium

Welcome! You mention lack of motivation, but the fact that you have come to this forum and posted is a darn good start!

Alcohol has a way, in the beginning, of making us feel as if it is our friend and that it is 'helping' us to cope with pressure and stress. And it does in the short term - the very short term. One way of looking at it is that every time you take a drink to relieve stress you are storing up one small anxiety unit. When you have been drinking a while those anxiety units will arrive all in one go and whammy - you will discover the hell that alcohol reliance can be. When it does the only way to relieve it is to drink more (a lot more) or abstain. At that stage it is hard to do..either of them!

Old guys like me can't pass on our experience - the world doesn't work that way, but if I know at your age what I know now I would have saved myself a lifetime of pain and anguish.

Read and listen is my advice. There are lots of ways to stop the inevitable progression if you don't take control and you can learn about them here. And don't worry about what other people think. It is what you think that is important.Good luck to you!

NoAlcohol

I feel what helps me stay sober is not by focusing on all the terrible things I've done while drunk, but instead focusing on all the positive things in my life that I experience because I am sober. Being sober is amazing. Good luck, and congrats on 4 days.

LBrain

welcome all y'all 3.

Take the time to write down ten things you did that you wish you never would have done during your drinking. Would you have done this if you weren't drinking? Do you feel foolish or stupid about it? My list is ten times ten.
That should get you started for a little motivation to stop. It only gets worse.
Now think of all the positive things you can do going forward. The potential you have to live a wonderful life without alcohol. Which do you prefer? This will help keep you stopped.

Hawk07

It starts off slow first convincing you that it's making your life more manageable. Then slowly starts to eat away at it until it's completely unmanageable. You'll see your finances suffer (as you said that's the only thing it's affecting you so far) You'll lose jobs and relationships as it progresses but most importantly you'll lose yourself. And not to mention your health. You're young and if you take action now you won't be looking back 10 years from now regretting that you didn't. I recommend educating yourself as much as you can on alcoholism.. watch a doc called cherry healey- old before my time a documentary on alcoholism that follows the lives of young people now struggling with the massive damage they've done to their bodies with alcohol.. Write down the things you are grateful for now...and reflect on how many of those can potentially be taken away by alcohol.

hayley86

Welcome Kaskade, motivation to quit might be that if you don't it's likely that things will get progressively worse. I knew i had a drinking problem in my early twenties but i ignored all the red flags because i still had many aspects of my life in order and i was able to function. In the space of a few short years i had lost friendships, finances and very nearly my health. There are far healthier ways to cope with stress. In my experience drinking makes stress much worse. You'll find lots of support here. Best wishes.

anotherquitter

Welcome. I could have written your post but all those years ago when I was your age, but there wasn't an internet and I didn't want to admit I could have a problem, nor quit. It cost me a lot of grief, money, and failed relationships. I'm so glad that you have chosen to find help now instead of putting it off for 20+ more years as I did.

In all that time I used alcohol to deal with the 'stress' of life while building resentments like mad. I was never arrested, didn't drink in the mornings, didn't drink every day, but I was none the less living less of a life than I was capable of, and hurting those around me. I cut way back for about 9 years and forged a new life, but slowly my consumption increased until I realized that I needed to quit.

I am glad you found SR, and suggest you try AA too.

Kaskade

Gosh, thankyou all for your wonderful responses. I am honestly astounded how positive and supportive everyone is here. It really helps kicking the first step.

I can't quote you all but really I appreciate your thoughts, LBrain you bring some fantastic points. Personally it's part of an ideal that when I'm home after long hours, I don't really deserve to relax nor do I know what to do with my spare time. It's part of a problem of not knowing my own hobbies or interests. I feel like I'm being a bit difficult by saying that. Potentially I'd like to explore art (though I'm hopeless with creating it), but still that's only 1/10. But truthfully I don't really know what I'm good at, I feel it's all been a make-believe through alcohol.

Hawk07 very educational words. In the back of my mind I'm so fearful of knowing the destruction I'm causing to myself - I feel even if I did know it, it would continue to happen. I'm grateful for many things but knowing them, even still it just doesn't compete. I know this is utterly dreadful and I am a horrible person to say this, but I just keep going back.

Again, thankyou everyone. It's so lovely everyone is so welcoming here.

LBrain

hey Kaskade, glad you are hip to the concept of life without alcohol. I just got off the phone with a friend who agrees and supports me 100%. He said he had a few beers out with dinner and felt horrible after. Not one of us but he thinks it is time for him to give it up too.
I am going to take Qigong and Tai Chi lessons with him.

I also decided to pick up the guitar again and get lessons from an almost master. I have 2 guitars collecting dust for a long time.

It took me over 5 months to start getting motivation - I have to force myself to live now. After getting into a routine things should start to become natural. When I was drinking I didn't do anything to improve myself. I just worked and drank and slept.
It's a new lease on life. Wish I knew this when I was your age. Don't let this opportunity slip by.