Lacking motivation
 

Hi,

I have not posted on here for a while as I am ashamed to say I have been back to binge drinking 3+ times a week with disasterous consequences.

As I posted previously, I split up with my fiance at the end of last year and consequently, feel so lonely. I end up meeting friends at the pub as to be honest, that is where they hang out and also. . . it means I might get to meet someone new. Unfortunately because I have being binge drinking I have ended up making silly mistakes and basically ending up with people at the end of the night that normally I wouldn't go near!!! I am so embarrassed by this but can't seem to break the cycle.

Furthermore, as I do not live in my home country, I can't decide where I want to be at the moment. . . . do I stay here? Move home? All these questions contribute to my depression and of course this leads to drinking to forget and pretend I am having a good time.

I am so scared that I am going to end up alone because of getting a reputation of being a silly drunk, ut on the other hand if I don't socialise with friends I am going to be alone also.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

S
xxx

You have to make up your mind whether you need and are ready to quit alcohol before you hit rock bottom.
When you decide you want to call it quit, then being alone, in a foreign land and whatnot are just ways to justify more drinking. Back home, addiction will find different excuses. it's a never ending story til we decide to end it.
I am sure there are english speaking AA meeting in Luxembourg. Give them a try, you don't have to say a word. You can try (AVRT) on line it teaches you the way to recognize your addictive voice, the one that tells you, that you are alone, that you need to drink to find a new relationship...ect.

Misscostalot, I've also moved around quite a lot, lived in 4 different countries. One important lesson I've learned from these experiences is that the environment we live in is very important - it has to be compatible with our preferences and personal goals in order to be fulfilled and live a good life.

For me, this was my main reason why I moved out of my home country a long time ago, to start the journey: I did not see many opportunities there for what I wanted to do with my life, plus was also curious of course. Then moved places, jobs, lifestyles, etc a few more times - I would say two places/eras I really loved, one was very difficult, and one so-so. The current one for me is the best so far but need to do a lot more work to really be able to realize the potential in it.

When I was deep in despair, I also contemplated going back "home"... well, my father would have been very happy. But I'm glad I decided against it - basically for me that would have been a wrong kind of escape and I'm almost sure I would have regretted it badly and it would be very hard, if not impossible, to revert it.

I suggest that you evaluate your current condition carefully and not rush into any decision. Giving up drinking is probably the best way to start, but it's definitely easier especially to sustain if your environment is positive for you and there are many things you like and can grab as a handle.

I think you perceive it correctly that social life is very important, but there are many ways to socialize without drinking. Do perhaps give a try to AA unless you have something against it - I've been going to a few meetings recently and am still unsure how deeply I want to get into it, but it's definitely good to meet people and learn about sober lifestyle.

Thank you so much for your reply. It helps to know that someone has been in a similar situation.

I think I need to discover other social activities here and realise the potential that Luxembourg has. . . except the pub life. I suppose it is the only way I will be able to make a sound decision in time.

Thanks again.

Your current situation feels familiar and I sense you still have alot of hope and opportunities waiting for you. it sounds like you need a change of scenery not in life in general but where you are right now. A big distraction and something positive to get hooked on to help you stay out of the pubs.
Yoga has been really helpful and life changing for those in recovery or trying to change from a bad lifestyle. Or maybe joining another exercise club of some kind. I think embarking on any healthy activity will help you stay further away from the bad ones. Take care and Be good to yourself.

misscostalot - I've been cooking and eating really healthy food - a whole new way of eating. It is really nurturing preparing good healthy food. I love the fact that I'm sustaining myself with 'goodness'. I agree with Soberella - yoga and other types of exercise help me enormously. I'm trying to do something every day. The days I work I get up at 5.20 am to go for a 20 min brisk walk before my drive to work. I've also been doing a 10 min guided meditation daily.

I like soberella ' suggestions. :-)

I wouldn't recommend searching for a partner in a bar. Not very helpful for a sober life. I love my husband but I wish I'd picked a sober man. :-)