sobriety? depression? or just LIFE?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
sobriety? depression? or just LIFE?
Some days.... especially Mondays... feel a little glum.
Same old thing. Same old problems. Same old routine.
Bills and backlog and stress.
Work still unrewarding, still not sure what to do with my life.
Got a pretty damn good life, all things considered. Lots of blessings. Glad to be sober. Happy overall, great family, strong relationship growing.
Yet I wake up to the blues.
Is this recovery doldrums as I creep up on 6 months?
Is this a mild depression or other thing that was underpinning alcohol use all these years?
Is this just the freakin' human condition.... is this LIFE?
So I smile and look for things to laugh about and chip away at the crap with the thought that it's all as it should. The birds are singing and spring is here.
Not gonna drink today and it'll all be fine.
Happy Monday errybody.
Same old thing. Same old problems. Same old routine.
Bills and backlog and stress.
Work still unrewarding, still not sure what to do with my life.
Got a pretty damn good life, all things considered. Lots of blessings. Glad to be sober. Happy overall, great family, strong relationship growing.
Yet I wake up to the blues.
Is this recovery doldrums as I creep up on 6 months?
Is this a mild depression or other thing that was underpinning alcohol use all these years?
Is this just the freakin' human condition.... is this LIFE?
So I smile and look for things to laugh about and chip away at the crap with the thought that it's all as it should. The birds are singing and spring is here.
Not gonna drink today and it'll all be fine.
Happy Monday errybody.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
I have my good times and my really sane times.... my consciousness changes
yes we are a sensitive.... i swear sometimes every bs comment cuts me like a knife
and sometimes i wish i wasn't around.... I go round and roound
yes we are a sensitive.... i swear sometimes every bs comment cuts me like a knife
and sometimes i wish i wasn't around.... I go round and roound
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi FreeOwl.
I'm feeling the same way myself. I'm at about six months too. So is Acheleus who also posted a thread asking something very similar. I'm thinking we are still adjusting. I wake up every morning feeling very low. It gets better once I start moving.
I don't have any great insight to share. Just solidarity. I figure it is a phase that I will get through so long as I don't drink to cope. And look for small changes that I can incorporate and implement every day. Like for me I need to start exercising.
The job thing? Same. Don't know what I'm going to do either. Yet. Thanks for your post because I know I'm not alone.
I'm feeling the same way myself. I'm at about six months too. So is Acheleus who also posted a thread asking something very similar. I'm thinking we are still adjusting. I wake up every morning feeling very low. It gets better once I start moving.
I don't have any great insight to share. Just solidarity. I figure it is a phase that I will get through so long as I don't drink to cope. And look for small changes that I can incorporate and implement every day. Like for me I need to start exercising.
The job thing? Same. Don't know what I'm going to do either. Yet. Thanks for your post because I know I'm not alone.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
solidarity for sure.... it really DOES help just knowing it's not just me. Not that I'm glad for others' suffering, but to know that someone else 'gets it'.
All told, things are good and like you, this morning I was thinking about small changes, small steps, small things to look forward to.
Might be that this is just life in the human condition. Might be that we who have a tendency toward addiction are particularly-attuned.
Guess the why doesn't really matter because it IS, and so it's the how do we respond that is most important.
All told, things are good and like you, this morning I was thinking about small changes, small steps, small things to look forward to.
Might be that this is just life in the human condition. Might be that we who have a tendency toward addiction are particularly-attuned.
Guess the why doesn't really matter because it IS, and so it's the how do we respond that is most important.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I hear you, FreeOwl. I am going on 8 months sober and I am rediscovering what my "normal" is, as I was a drinker for a LONG time. I have thought to myself, "oh, if this is my "normal", I was probably self-medicating with drink." That being said, while I often wish I didn't feel so moody, I do feel healthier and better able to handle my moods without them plunging my self esteem, so that is good. You are not alone.
You are not alone.
Gl@ss Artist & Cat Lady
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 880
Me too. I'm in the Monday syndrome for sure. I have trouble concentrating at work, don't want anyone to talk to me, much less ask me for something. Ugh!
You are definitely not alone today... and the sun is shining the birds are singing here as well...which is just freakin' awesome!
You are definitely not alone today... and the sun is shining the birds are singing here as well...which is just freakin' awesome!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Yup, I get glum days too. We have been using a substance to alter our reality. So, I think it takes time to get used to the even keel of normalcy. Whatever normal is.
It can be similar if we tend toward unhealthy relationships, or drama in relationships. When you settle into normal and healthy, no drama, it feels like something is missing. But it is not. No drama, no fake buzz, this is real life. It is an adjustment. And, we had relationships with alcohol, so I think the analogy to relationships is useful. It is for me anyway. Even a bad one gone is a loss to deal with.
It can be similar if we tend toward unhealthy relationships, or drama in relationships. When you settle into normal and healthy, no drama, it feels like something is missing. But it is not. No drama, no fake buzz, this is real life. It is an adjustment. And, we had relationships with alcohol, so I think the analogy to relationships is useful. It is for me anyway. Even a bad one gone is a loss to deal with.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
FreeOwl, I remember myself often pondering the same as a kid... Why are our psyches so unstable, why are our feelings so dynamic and often change like the weather, often regardless of anything external? I felt there was something wrong with me feeling this way, that I'm hypersensitive about many things other people do not seem to be... As a result (I think), my psychological development proceeded with developing an orientation to life and my own mind that involved a lot of detachment and self-protective emotional armors. In my worst times I've also tended to become very cynical about everything... and of course during my heavy drinking, this progressed to extremes. I had to learn how to embrace my vulnerability, and this recovery experience has been one of the best times to deal with that.
Now I just try to accept that a great part of being human involves a lot of dynamic, not all of it is pleasant, but this is the reality of it. I also think that often a good approach is to just view our feelings and not get hooked on them too much. It's a complex balance between involvement and non-attachment (instead of detachment, if that makes sense).
I also see some of this hypersensitivity as a kind of gift - having been through heaven and hell and everything in between allows me a deeper level of understanding of the human condition and other people and I think if I'm in a healthy mindset, it really enhances my interactions with the world and my interpersonal relationships.
Now I just try to accept that a great part of being human involves a lot of dynamic, not all of it is pleasant, but this is the reality of it. I also think that often a good approach is to just view our feelings and not get hooked on them too much. It's a complex balance between involvement and non-attachment (instead of detachment, if that makes sense).
I also see some of this hypersensitivity as a kind of gift - having been through heaven and hell and everything in between allows me a deeper level of understanding of the human condition and other people and I think if I'm in a healthy mindset, it really enhances my interactions with the world and my interpersonal relationships.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Remember to do something good for yourself ,
have a bubble bath , wear cozy slippers , phone someone you love , plant a shrub , tree or flower , pet an animal .
There is a lot of glory in the world if we stop to look for it .
It will be different tomorrow, chances are better if we don't drink my doldrums only hang round for a short while ,
week 1 , week 3 , the weeks at the end of month 3 & 6 and the week coming up to a year were all ones i remember as ones that were slow to get through .
Keep on though , at 6 months i think our bodies and brains are still repairing themselves so treat yourself kindly and gently feed yourself well and are you doing enough exercise ? as that can help ..
Bestwishes, m
have a bubble bath , wear cozy slippers , phone someone you love , plant a shrub , tree or flower , pet an animal .
There is a lot of glory in the world if we stop to look for it .
It will be different tomorrow, chances are better if we don't drink
my doldrums only hang round for a short while , week 1 , week 3 , the weeks at the end of month 3 & 6 and the week coming up to a year were all ones i remember as ones that were slow to get through .
Keep on though , at 6 months i think our bodies and brains are still repairing themselves so treat yourself kindly and gently
feed yourself well and are you doing enough exercise ? as that can help ..Bestwishes, m
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Hi FreeOwl,
Just got back to a computer after this morning and hope you are feeling better. I think part of what I could have suggested is more sleep and regular bed times. I don't get enough of either.
It is better to voice this stuff now rather than later. I had 10.5 months last year - all the way from October, 2012 to August, 2013. Then relapsed for a bit. I had started feeling all the angst and questioning and sorta depression at about six months but I didnt really do much about it at the time. I didn't talk about it. I didn't ask anyone about it. Well, that didn't work out so well. Now I know I can't just pretend it will go away without talking about it.
I am so glad I read this thread this morning because it made me think.
Just got back to a computer after this morning and hope you are feeling better. I think part of what I could have suggested is more sleep and regular bed times. I don't get enough of either.
It is better to voice this stuff now rather than later. I had 10.5 months last year - all the way from October, 2012 to August, 2013. Then relapsed for a bit. I had started feeling all the angst and questioning and sorta depression at about six months but I didnt really do much about it at the time. I didn't talk about it. I didn't ask anyone about it. Well, that didn't work out so well. Now I know I can't just pretend it will go away without talking about it.
I am so glad I read this thread this morning because it made me think.
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