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I semi-slipped at a birthday today, but..

Old 05-18-2014, 01:39 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I semi-slipped at a birthday today, but..
There is not such a thing as semi-slipping LOL you drank and you are right now at day zero period no ifs or buts.
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Old 05-18-2014, 01:44 PM
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Even if i haven't experienced some of the extreme and bizarre stuff I have read, I don't post a judgement on it. Regardless of how I feel about the posters behavior. I just think they are addicts like the rest of us, just acting out in a way that is not similar to mine. Like a lot of the posters here, I gave moderation a try. At the end of the day, whatever works for you is ok. Blessings.
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Old 05-18-2014, 02:12 PM
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I would ask myself why I first came to SR. What brought you here? Maybe go back and read your old posts. Bad memories fade easily and quickly.

There is no such thing as semi-slipping. You drank, no matter how you wish to dress it up. I do understand as have been there many times and also believedI could control it. If sobriety is your goal then drinking now and again isn't sobriety. If you don't think you have a problem then that's fine-only you can decide that.

I often read on here " a period of abstinence does not mean control" This is so true.It doesn't matter how many days,months,years I am sober. If I drink again I will eventually lose control of my drinking again.
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Old 05-18-2014, 02:16 PM
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by grubby View Post
I am confused about this as well, i've done lots of reading and reading since i signed up here and have been comparing notes as well.

It seems there are different types of drinkers, i have read some rather perplexing, disturbing, and bizarre stories on here that go something like this:

"I was sober for a couple months, then one day i had just 1 drink....... then i couldnt stop myself and before i knew it i had drank 14 cans, it was like it happened by itself and i had no control at all, like someone else took over my body and mind"

^ Personally i NEVER experienced this bizarre phenomenon when i was drinking, if i felt that "just an extra drink" would push me over into the "sweet-spot" of euphoria i would go have an extra 1 or 2, but that's it - i would stop there....... there was no "complete loss of control" like some of the more extreme and bizarre stories on here describe.

Even towards the end when i was drinking much more than when i first started, i would have an effective dose of booze and maybe 1 more and stop there. I wouldn't senselessly, unnecessarily, and recklessly go drink an extra 3,4,5,6,7,8 beers like some of the more extreme examples........ that doesnt make sense to me. I tried to binge drink one day just to see what would happen, i ended up in the bathroom puking my guts out 20 minutes later. I would say for the most part, my drinking was pretty consistent.

It seems there is a spectrum of sorts and every person is on a different point on that spectrum.
I often imagined that my drinking and my drinking behaviors weren't "extreme" or "bizarre," but the rest of the world tended to differ. Comparing my drinking and my drinking behaviors favorably to other people is part of the addiction and is generally the result of untreated alcoholism. Having an incomplete loss of control is cold comfort when alcohol is causing problems in your life.

You either stopped or tried to stop for a reason, or perhaps you found no good reason to stop. But your justifications (rationalizations) for continuing to drink are thin if alcohol is causing problems in your life.
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:21 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:28 PM
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I nearly got myself free a number of times - but I convinced myself that the other problems sobriety uncovered were worse than my drinking.

I was of course tragically deluded.

It's your choice of course Mak...but you quit for a reason - suggesting that a mere 20 days later you can dance a little with the devil again is every alcoholic's dream.


It seems there are different types of drinkers, i have read some rather perplexing, disturbing, and bizarre stories on here that go something like this:

"I was sober for a couple months, then one day i had just 1 drink....... then i couldnt stop myself and before i knew it i had drank 14 cans, it was like it happened by itself and i had no control at all, like someone else took over my body and mind"
I never went straight from one glass to 20...that would be proof of a problem even I could not deny grubby...

but I don't think you'll actually find many here who claim that. The path is a lot more subtle.

With me it as always gradual - a couple of drinks here...then a few more there, still more some time later.

I was like the mouse who didn't even know he was in the trap. Alcoholism is dangerous because it's so insidious.

D
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:37 PM
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Mak, Please be careful. I had a little success controlling myself once. So I kept playing with it. In the end I was led back to the same awful place. We care about you and don't want to see you be deceived.
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:37 PM
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For me, I would go months without drinking or sometimes I was able to have only one or two. I prioritized my life just fine and I felt fine. But eventually it would happen and it would throw me into a state of mental chaos whether I was sober or not. It's something I have a hard time keeping in perspective, that I don't have to constantly be on a bender in order to have a drinking problem. I have no desire to try controlled drinking because, unlike many other alcoholics I know, I know I COULD pass that test if I wanted to, I could toe the line. The problem is that eventually I won't want to anymore. Best of luck to you.
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Raider
Even if i haven't experienced some of the extreme and bizarre stuff I have read, I don't post a judgement on it. Regardless of how I feel about the posters behavior. I just think they are addicts like the rest of us, just acting out in a way that is not similar to mine. Like a lot of the posters here, I gave moderation a try. At the end of the day, whatever works for you is ok. Blessings.
My apologies, i did not intend to offend anyone. I was just stating some observations i had made.

In the future i will be more careful and be sure to include "in my opinion" or a similar phrase. It's too bad this forum is set to block editing of posts past 15 minutes, i re-read my own post a few minutes ago....... and i agree it does sound a little judgmental. I'll try and choose my words more carefully next time

back on topic.......

Originally Posted by Makrellen
my biggest problems are probably isolation, depression and social anxiety, and alcohol "helped" with that
I think this is the same for a lot of people, America is such a socially cold lonely place......... so im not surprised we are the leader for drug abuse in general. Depression was a big reason i started drinking as well.

As my head has been clearing up, i've come to realize that alcohol was just a band-aid............ it didnt really do anything for me once the dust settled. Oh, but it certainly came with all kinds of "hidden fees" and fine print.........
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:54 PM
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Hi Makrellen,

Alcohol abuse...drinking more than one drink per day for women in the U.S. is considered a behavior that requires more investigation and support. Even if a person totally disagrees with that definition it is meant to be supportive of booting alcohol and ensuing damage from a person's life and getting true support in its place.

This forum is here with you
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Old 05-18-2014, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Nuudawn View Post
Are you an alcoholic/addict?
I'm one of those people that didn't go for blind drunk most of the time (say, 9 times out of ten). I would describe myself as a raging alcoholic.

I would also add now: "yet". Too many things I didn't do at first I actually started doing after a while. Pretty scary.

Yes we are all slightly different or at different stages in our addiction. But we all seem to have in common that moderation is impossible. Because we are addicts.
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Old 05-18-2014, 04:03 PM
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Maybe you're different than all the drunks for whom four beers at a birthday party is the opening number in a three-act operetta of shades-down oscillation between intoxication and withdrawals. I hope that works out, but if it goes sideways you know the SR community will still be here. I apologize if I sound skeptical, but you've been on here long enough to know ahead of time what responses you're going to get back on this idea, so I imagine I'm not saying anything you haven't anticipated.

You're playing with fire, bud. Good luck
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Old 05-18-2014, 04:49 PM
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FOR ME: Alcohol leads me to isolate, feel depressed and socially anxious.
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