Skotyb

This site man ... Seriously, it saved me!!!
After writing that first post and subsequent posts, and all the support
And understanding... The thought of this site and the daily routine
On reading posts, when I wake up, on breaks at work, when I get home
And before I fall asleep!!! Yes I said fall asleep, I can now by the way
It's glorious!!!! I've crushed 15 days because of all of you and the accountability
You and SR hold me to.

So I jumped on the treadmill twice in the past 3 days to try to get that part of my life back in routine, and 10 minutes in I wanted to quit!! But like all the cravings and MY AV YELLING AT ME, my process is simple I start to write a post for you guys in my head, the negative kind were I've come out or couldn't finish 30 minutes of walking, and it see all the posts in my head from you guys about how I can do it and don't relapse it's not worth it and the personal stories of struggle I've read and tears start and in 3-5 minutes my imaginary post goes from how I went out to a positive post about how much ass I'm kicking and I feel the support and well wishes from all of youand the AV HAS SHUT UP. And I walked the 30 minutes or I didn't pick up a drink, or go to a bar and get wasted!!! Honestly I know none of u at all and you people are the ones that have changed my life!!!

I really miss that "freind post " I'm glad I bookmarked that one there is a lot of support and stories and love ... Since I'm so new that's the SITE that has been a god send for me so far... It's too bad some people can't get over themselves and just see the content and the message in there ... The good and the bad
I wish I didn't close but I undestand !!! Moving on right!!

The longest I've gone in the last 8 years is about 2-3 days before that I quit for a year than relapsed so off and on it's been almost HALF OF MY LIFE in a bottle of some sort...with years of cocaine, acid, oxy codeine, mushrooms, payotie, even smoked cracked, McDonald's ( food binging when hung over) .... My personality was such as try everything once what can be the harm!!

call it luck or whatever you want but as I sit here now crying as I write this post because of the memories that stir up when Ur clean like this!! I've never felt more alive with any of those substances than I do right in this moment!!! Yeah maybe in the moment I thought hey chasing the dragon feels pretty good but this feeling of sobriety and the hope I have now for my future REALLY kicks those chemical induced stupers in the ass!!

I really don't think it would be possible without you fantastic group of awesomeness ... Some might not understand us or relate but the HONESTY AND SUPPORTIVE HEART IN THIS SITE BEATS LOUDER THAN THUNDER!! And I hear it every time I drive by a liquor store , go for dinner, workout, all the time and everyday!!

SO THANKYOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!
Your the best freinds a stranger could ask for!!
And on the day my mom passed away from brain cancer I don't think I could be in a better place and I wish she could of seen me now!!

Thanks for listening!!

falseemperor

Hi friend, this site show us pll different but problems same.

MariahGayle

Skotyb - Fantastic on 2 weeks...Your Mom would very happy

neferkamichael

Skotyb, 2 weeks down is FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya.

PurpleKnight

Great job on 15 days!!

Verte

Hey Skotyb...your posts are so expressive and truly helpful for me, as I am sure for everyone. In the best way possible, your posts read of an exciting infomercial for sobriety...i'll pay just $19.99 for that any day of the week. Wait I already read it for free?! Thanks Skotyb. I'm really happy to read that things are rough yet going well

I've been popping in and out during the day but have been falling asleep *just* after closing my computer for the night and usually with one eye open. SR has been instrumental in getting me through these past few weeks as well.

Your Mom would definitely be proud of you

Please keep posting your progress and stumbles for support and reassurance! We cannot let our guard down on this daily work.

Stoogy

15 days is excellent, well done on turning your life around.

Skotyb

I forgot to mention a tip for the newbies here... It worked for me and if it helps one person than that's great!! I've started going back into public, what I mean is I go for lunch or dinner at restaurants and I've even gone back to the pubs I used to frequent ( don't recommend till your secure in your sobriety) maybe never for some but it also works around people that might start the conversation....the reaction when you order a virgin caesar or a oduols or an orange juice and 7 up to bartenders or in the company of people you've spent the most part of your life being drunk infront of ... The questions the jokes the ridicule the supreme confusion on their faces might throw you for a loop ... So instead of stating I've quit or trying to live a sober life or the ting to be healthy or I have a problem ... Those all have seemed to lead to conversations I'm not ready to have with these people... So instead of starting that drama I just say I just don't feel like it today, I'm good just don't feel like anything but thankyou. It seems to not draw any attention!!!! Yes I know in life we should be able to talk to our "friends" about our stuff... And I know about testing the waters and it being dangerous but for me this works for now !!
It might be a little aggresuve of an approach but I've crawled through the sewer of hell(addiction) and so far I've come out clean on the other side!!

And I've got SR TO TALK TO About my sobriety and u guys understand!!

Thanks again

LBrain

Way to go skotyb! You are truly an inspiration.

Skotyb

Thanks guys for the comments
If I could give a little bit of this feeling to all that are struggling right now it would be in eBay for free and i'd pay the shipping

Sobriety is my new addiction... And I use every second of everyday I'm awake
For the rest of my life!!! The possibilities now are endless!!

Thanks for listening

Have a great sober clean day, which ever day it is for you or if it's only been minutes
If ya stick you'll get to a moment when you realize that sobriety feels better than any substance could make/fake you feel I actually wake up each day now and like my thoughts, my words , my attitude, myself and have hope for my future. When I was active non of the above!!


"We learn that our spirit is not apart from us; it is a part of us. We gain awareness of the exact nature of what is right about us. Our fractured personalities come back together into an integrated whole. Integrity is the state of being fully integrated: Our actions, our thinking, our feelings, our ideals, and our values all match up. It takes a long time for a lot of us to get here, and longer still for us to feel like it’s real. More and more, we are able to bring our behavior into alignment with our values and beliefs rather than our feelings and reactions."

HeadLump

Some great posts here, Skotyb! Way to go!

Dee74

congrats on 2 weeks Skotyb

D

Hevyn

We're so proud of you Skotyb! You're really doing this thing.

Notimetoloose

Great going, it is wonderful to be sober and it is wonderful that you sober.

least

Congrats on 2 weeks sober.

360shoes

Hi Skotyb!
If that just didn't make my day!! I'm so happy for you. It's a good day when we realize everything we ever wanted we already had. We just buried it under a trove of mind altering garbage.

It is such a blessing to take the garbage out and find you really do like yourself.

This is the stuff that gets a person through a hard day. But, I had a great day too. Most of my days are great. Oh, I get my fair share of the crappy ones but never enough to make me want to go back to way I used to live.

Thank you so much for the positive vibe. You are so nice. You give as much as you have gotten here. Believe me. And you are right...It's all free. I would have paid you for that post.

High 5! You rock! I love your attitude!!!

Skotyb

tim68

Great post and congrats! I'm on day 16. Feels great doesn't it? Keep up the great attitude. Your winning!