Kittylove28

Hello I am new.
I've been sober since March 1st 2014. Since then I've avoided 10 parties. My husband goes out twice a week for drinks with friends. I sit at home. What should I do to make this a little less depressing and a little more fun? Being sober really sucks right now.

I feel left out all the time?
:'(

tomthern

Well you could get involved in things in an AA group. You also are posting which is another way to spend your time. Once you start getting people who are sober around you things open up.

Dee74

Hi and welcome kittylove

do you have to sit at home? Do you have any sober friends or ideas on sober activities you could do?

D

LadyinBC

Congrats on being sober since March 1 that is awesome!

Get some friends together and have a spa night or just take that time to do something for you.

This will get easier in time the longer you are sober.

benniesauntie

I know the feeling. My activities only involved going for drinks with people. Or drinking at people's homes. Now I try to go for walks, go to the dog park (I have to borrow my sister's dog) or coffee. I've found a few adorable coffee shops in my city. Cozy ones with armchairs by the fireplace where you can get cozy with a good friend and chat for a few hours What about a book club? Fitness groups? Best of luck

360shoes

Welcome Kittylove!
Great job on the sober time! That's fantastic!

I'm not much on doing stuff so I'm not much help there. I mean like I'm not really one to take up hobbies. But...I love having fun. I'm lucky. I have really nice friends. They aren't big drinkers if they even do it at all. They always were the take it or leave it type. I was the drunk in our group.

Anyway. Do you have nice friends? Ones that are positive and just good people? People who do stuff that doesn't involve drinking? I've found out, that at least for me, it doesn't matter so much what I'm doing. It's who I'm doing it with. My friends and I can make grocery shopping fun. Or lunch. Or pedicures. Or helping each other..I helped my friend today decorate her patio. We had a blast. Turned up the tunes. Drank some really great sun tea in pretty glasses. Complained about our man friends. Talked about how much we love our man friends.

My girl friends....my really really good friends, make lots of things fun. I'm so happy I have them.

I hope you have some friends to do things with. And I hope you find some hobbies you can enjoy on your own too.

Welcome! Hang in there. You are doing great!

Bruce292

Welcome. Sobriety can be lonely. For a long time after I stopped drinking my wife continued. She'd come home after being out with her girlfriends intoxicated. I found communication on many levels just wasn't working. Many of my old "friends" wrote me off as well. Over time though I carved out a new interests, new friends, and my wife has significantly reduced her drinking. It's been a long process and there was a certainly a very lonely phase in there but life progresses.

Thank you for posting, thank you for being here. You matter. Hang in there.

Stiv

Congrats on your sober time! Welcome to the forum!

Anna

I'm glad you are recovering.

For me, I had to make lots of changes. If you are bored sitting at home, then find things to do. You can take a course, join a sport, take a yoga class, do some volunteering in your community, or any number of things that might interest you.

powderline

Have you tried local Meetups?

AlcoholFree66

Hi Kittylove - Honestly, I don't mind parties because so much of my drinking in the last decade has been secretly at home. I've learnt that I'm much better company sober. But if you don't feel comfortable don't go. I always have a quick exit plan if I'm going to something where people drink a lot - most of my friends drink very moderately so it's not a problem.
I need to make my own fun. Yoga, cooking, reading a good book, having a bath and watching a movie make me feel good - and especially good when I wake up in the morning. My husband has a work do on Friday night - I'm going to go and enjoy the hotel for the night - I've googled a yoga class then I pick up some yummy takeaway and watch a movie - in the morning I'll wake up and swim or go to the gym. I can't wait.

Mimij

Wow so many good ideas here. I love to walk the dog, sometimes meet a neighbor for a night walk, sometimes do a home exercise class like Barre3 (on line and cheap), pick up a good book, take a shower and get to bed early! I have become MUCH more of a morning person. Love my mornings. Meet friends to go for a walk, walk the dog, organize my closet (LOVE organizing stuff and there are a lot of great websites out there now for this kind of thing--) love to purge old junk out of my house! Feels so good! LOL. I take cues from my children. They go to bed early and sober and wake up sparkley-eyed and ready for anything!! But I do know the feeling. Everything I did socially used to revolve around drinking. Or so I thought. But I realize now that is only part of my life and so I have to play up the other parts now. It sure is a process. I have been sober for a year and a half. I am just now personally coming to terms with it all. Take your time and be good to yourself. Plus your great behavior will some day rub off on your spouse as long as you do not nag. I pray it will. See if you can get spouse to do an evening walk sometime too. Pick a new place to go. He may like it!!

GwenCummings

I think this is the difference between giving up alcohol and living a new sober life. I am at this crossroads again myself.
Old life minus alcohol vs new life with new friends and activities. No contest really. I just need to get the courage up to make the first baby steps. Thanks for your thread. This has concentrated my mind on the important issue at the heart of sobriety.

Stoogy

Hi, we simply cannot stop drinking and think job done! Don't get me wrong to stop drinking is an awe-inspiring thing in itself, but we were professional drinkers which means our life revolved round drinking rather than the other way around which normal people do, so we are left with a whole in our days and nights which creates a level of boredom that you are now experiencing. We either have to embrace the new found time and be content in ourselves or if you are anything like me, you will need to find hobbies or people to fill your time.
Well done.