zeldachan

About a month ago I finally stopped drinking after a decade long love affair with cheap ass vodka and deep deep depression. Daily meetings, hard work, encouragement from husband, and I'm very proud of what I've done. Not one crappy morning... not one embarrassing moment... I hate the feeling of being sober but at least, I told myself, I wasn't going to die anymore and I'm happier and more productive.

BUT WAIT.

The problem is I've gone to the doctor and he has diagnosed me with liver disease. I have liver pain and my fingertips are sometimes yellow. He says it is actually NASH (non-alcoholic), even though I was a binge drinker (750ml vodka within 24 hours once or twice a week) for 7-10 years, I don't remember, it's been so long. I am apparently at Stage 2 (something called L1) fibrosis and I am so so so so scared. The gastroenterologist doctor has put me on medicine and antidepressants to control the anxiety and fear. My doctor says that if I eat right and keep taking the medicine and lose weight (I am 5'7, 250 pounds) and don't drink anything ever again that I will recover.

But my fingertips are yellowing... and I'm so scared. All I know is that once your liver goes, you die, right? What if my doctor is wrong and I'm actually dying right now???

The ****** part about it is that I am only 35.

I don't want to die!

I think it would be helpful for me to hear positive stories (if there are any!!!) from any of you who have been in my situation because I can't even concentrate on my life right now. Thank you so much. Please let there be positive stories, hahaha...

flutter

Focus on this. If you don't believe your doctor, get a second opinion. I'm sorry that you're ill.

Dee74

Hi Zelda

I'm not a doctor - if you can't bring yourself to believe your Dr, please do get a second opinion.

There are many members here who deal, or have dealt with liver disease. I know you'll hear from them

I'm glad you came to us for support.

D

Mentium

Well we all are, but you have been told how to delay the inevitable probably by a few decades if you follow the advice! Go to it I say!

Hawk07

(((Hugs))) Zeldachan. I agree with the others if you don't trust the diagnosis from that doctor get another opinion.

"My doctor says that if I eat right and keep taking the medicine and lose weight (I am 5'7, 250 pounds) and don't drink anything ever again that I will recover."

Thats very hope full and I say focus on doing just that. Who know's what your body is capable of with a good medical team and a lot of TLC to come.
Start off with a walk to calm your nerves if you can.

Solar

I came very close to dying of liver failure - as in, lying-in-the-hospital-bed-waiting-to-die close. But, ta-daaaa!! Here I am.

I can't give you advice about your own situation, but it seems to me that in my case, doing right by my liver (not drinking alcohol, not overeating, exercising regularly, and staying in shape) brought me from the brink of death to typing this message to you today.

zeldachan

I feel so ashamed from having gotten to this point. For years I knew it was coming, it's not like I'm dumb, and I thought I got away with not having it, but I do. I should trust the doctor, he's very good and livers are what he does, but everything else says that once you feel the liver pain you're done for!

It's good to hear that you are still with us Solar! I'm fully committed to eating right and getting my weight down and it is so good to hear your story. Thank you.

Mentium

A friend of mine in AA ended up in hospital with liver failure and at one point it seemed likely he would die. He didn't though. He recovered an 17 days later he was discharged. The consultant who discharged him said to him, if you plan on drinking when you get out there buy a paper tag, write your name on it and tie it to your big toe so we know who you are when they wheel you into the morgue.

He never took another drink and I see him alive and very well 23 years later at AA meetings.

least

Follow your doctor's advice and take care of yourself. You can heal yourself. Trust your doctor.

Cahabr

You'll be back and healthier than ever. Just don't ever drink again, it's not worth the risk. I've seen people make amazing transformations with their health, it really doesn't take that long, just get into a regular exercise routine. I recommend varying your exercise so you don't get bored with it. Seek out others, group classes are great.

gvrecovery

You're fortunate in one sense, that you're gettingva wake up call while you're still young. Good luck!

ThirstForLife

Follow the advice of your doctor and get on a cleansing program. The liver is not only the largest organ but the most resilient organ in the human body. It can literally regenerate itself.

FeelingGreat

Hi zeldachan, how do you turn your shame into pride? Show your doctor and the world what real recovery looks like. I promise, once your liver starts healing you'll feel so good you'll look forward to the doctor's visits.

You can do this - and do it as a positive thing, not something that's been imposed on you, but a way for you to shine.

Anna

Consider yourself blessed and lucky that your dr has given you this diagnosis. You have a chance to save yourself, which many people don't.

MIRecovery

I had highly elevated liver enzymes and high blood pressure at the end of my drinking. Both are normal at least the liver is the blood pressure is boarder line high but is significantly better than it was. Both the liver and blood pressure got significantly better in 3 months from the time I quit poisoning myself. The body can heal an awful lot of the damage we inflicted upon it

fishsmacker

I agree with other posters,follow exact orders and for your life sake,,do not drink any alcohol ever again. You have the oppurtunity to live a long ways out,please keep everyone in your heart in mind. Oh yeah,losing extra weight will surely ease things up for you,and also keep you busy.

Americanpie

Wow, we are so similar!! I drank just like you, cheap vodka, same amount, same time frame, we're are similar measurements and we are the same age. I hope all will be well with you. I've been feeling so depressed the last few months, always tired, gaining weight, etc. The Dr sent me for blood work and urine samples and a few days later the lab called and said the Dr wanted me to come in to discuss the results. That was about a month ago and I still have not gone.
You're braver than I am, I'm so scared to even go find out what's wrong. I hope you will having nothing but good results.
All the best

newman23

I can relate to your fears. Mine has told me I "still have time" as far as my liver goes. I didn't believe him so I obsessed over it. It really sucked, because sober or not, I couldn't escape the fear and always looked for symptoms. Finally, at my request, I got additional testing done outside of blood levels and a more concrete test finally put my mind at ease.

Why not eat healthy, exercise, lose weight, and even get a second opinion? I'm sure none of those things can hurt. I may help put your mind at ease .

Chicagoan

If you do not trust your DR, by all means,
seek a second opinion. It is very important
that you have confidence in the person
treating your infliction.

Do not give up. You are young and the
liver is an amazingly resilient organ.

Please stay in touch, we are here to
support you.

MythOfSisyphus

+1 to this!

And this. Again, if you doubt the diagnosis get a second opinion. But I think you got good news. Now you know the stakes. You have been given a precious gift- clarity. If you drink you will die. The liver along with the rest of the body is capable of healing a lot of damage, starting the minute quit poisoning it.

Take this news as a warning but don't freak out. Just live and be well.