KAD

Anybody else feel like they're talking it to death sometimes? Feeling like "just do it or don't do it?" That's kinda where I am of late. I've talked about it for years. As Yoda would say, "Do or not do, there is no try."

FreeFall

It helps to talk to others in the same boat generally, but yes, sometimes it's too much discussion, too much focus on drinking, too much conflict. Sometimes it's easier to just stop and go on about your life.

instant

stoping drinking is easier said than done. It is however well worth it

Kallistia

Yes! "Make up your mind already!!" And then a million come in

KAD

Yes, I definitely don't discount the value of talking to others on the same journey, but it's almost like I give it too much power sometimes by putting so much focus on it. Whether or not I drink is up to me, but if I'm hyper-focused, it seems like the chances of drinking are even higher. I dunno. Just feeling exhausted with the whole things lately. Tired of having spent more than half my life battling this thing...

Dee74

I convinced myself talking about it WAS recovery for years.

For me, recovery is/was action GetMeOut.
Do you have a plan?

D

LadyBlue0527

As Yoda also says

I'll take it a step further

Lady Blue says "Non existent are the things you fear to lose"

I am here to tell you that all the questions that you are asking yourself about what life will be without alcohol are the addiction talking and they are a lie. The path isn't easy in the beginning but once you make it out of the clutches you're going to know a life you couldn't even begin to imagine existed. I promise you that.

A plan is essential to get you there. SR is monumental.

Goldcoastgirl

I agree about the talking to death. I told my psychologist I didn't want to see her for a while because I an sick of hearing my own voice going over and over the same thing. I don't want to count and all that either. I will find a way that fits in with my thought processes. X

KAD

I stopped seeing my addictions counselor for the same reason. I am not new to this struggle at all, as anyone who wants to check my activity on this forum could see. Some of it is that I'm irritated with myself for failing again recently, after several months sober. I've been on this merry-go-round for so long... so long. 26 years, to be exact.

One thing that is definitely different is that my patience in the "drinking world" is much shorter than it used to be, and I am almost immediately longing to step back over into sober world. Just seems so much harder to make the journey back into the latter. After only a week of absolute misery, I was in tears wanting to come back to what I had. It dawned on me - I've never cried because I wanted to drink, but cried plenty because I wanted to be sober again.

anewpage

Thanks - this is very helpful for me right now

Soberpotamus

Yep. I quit my therapist and even SR several months ago. I needed to starting doing things again. I quit talking and started doing more. Exercise, vitamins, reading and studying, writing, and finally I started working the twelve steps. And really started working on letting things go. Understanding how to wrap my head around forgiving my family, and forgiving myself. And just seeing how the world around me seems to operate. From sober eyes.

least

Arguing back and forth with myself never did any good. I had to simply accept that I could never drink again. Not if I wanted to live, that is. Once I accepted that it was easier to quit.

Cheydinhal

I agree, Freefall - sometimes it gives me anxiety and my AV rears its ugly head when I'm hearing about booze and talking about it to death. I go to meetings each week, but I focus mostly on God, keeping myself spiritually and emotionally healthy, and not dwelling on booze. I'm happier and more peaceful that way.

hardhearts

I'm not sure why this is so helpful to me, but it is.

I'll talk myself in circles all day if I let myself get in my own head. I don't need to go to AA, I can't believe I won't be able to drink for the rest of my life, I wasn't that bad, I'm wasting everyone's time... blah blah blah. I know it's the disease talking but it also makes me feel like a fraud sometimes and it's exhausting and lonely to fight that internal battle. Somehow reading this just made me realize how silly I'm being. Thank you.

gettingbetter64

Yes I did that a lot and it was mentally draining

weirdesttoner

I would like to share with you my own way to deal with things when in doubt.

Several years ago i was with a girl, we were together for several years and i got quite attached to her. Eventually she got sick of my drinking and lazyness (i wasn't working at that time). So she dumped me.
I was doing fine on nights, drinking till blackout, but i couldn't cope with the idea during the day, when sober.
I had a rationament with myself, and convinced myself that she is gone and nothing will get her back. So all the repetitive thinking was a waste of time.
So everytime she popped in my mind i slapped myself and forced to think about something else. Gues what, as stupid as it may seem, it worked!

When i started this journey to sobriety i remembered how i failed so many times before because i couln't get my mind off the alcohol. So i used the same technique.
Last night for example i felt bored and lonely and alcohol popped in my head. A quick "mental slap", shifted my attention to some training videos for my work and before i knew it was sunday morning.
This is my way of dealing with thoughts about alcohol, if useless, discard them.

KAD

This is something I worry about. I don't do AA and don't subscribe to the 12-step approach, for my own personal reasons, but have often felt the urge to attend just because I'm so sick and tired of being alone with this. On the flipside, hearing all the "war stories" over and over again, ad nauseum, and forcing myself into thinking about drinking when I wasn't thinking about drinking makes me think about drinking.

No one I know, personally, in the 3D world is an alcoholic so there is literally no one to talk to about what I'm going through. I am already pretty much a loner, which is isolating enough. There is this site, and I do appreciate that it's here, but I can come and go virtually unnoticed. You people have no idea who I am, and vice versa. I could be drunk off my ass and you won't be able to tell, or I'll just stay away until I'm sober. No accountability.