Fallow

Thanks alcoholfree. I know its a serious business. Thats why its so upsetting to have to deal with in the first place.

Can you say any about what led to your drinking after 6 years?

Dee74

It gets easier tho - it's kind automatic, even primal, for me now.
Beer bad

D

Hawk07

Dee
'Beer bad'. Yes it is! I got a chuckle out of that.

courage2

((Fallow)) I'm so glad you're back here, love the look of the tail between the legs How are the kids?

This alcoholism thing really bites. I only saw your thread because I was almost desperate enough tonight to post a new thread to Newcomer's about fear of relapse. And then you're here, which just cheers me up so much! So you've helped me tonight. Kind of crazy, huh?

I say, stick to staying sober in the present moment until you can handle more. I can't think comfortably about the future or the past yet. I get very anxious when I try, and that makes me want to drink. Gradually, gradually, I'm changing. The main thing to know and do at first is not to drink. Not under any circumstances. Why is Dee's "beer bad" so hard for us to remember? I don't know, but I'm working on remembering it, and discovering also "sober good". Glad you're here again to join me in the good part! xxoo

Fallow

Seriously huh Courage! Beer bad should be so easy to remember. Im glad you are feeling a bit better. As we all know our own minds can really get the best of us in addiction.

Kids are doing great right now. I just need to sort myself out so I can be at my best for all involved. I am gonna have a talk with my wife when she returns home and let her know a return to AA is in order.

I dont love meetings but I know that only another alcoholic can truly understand.

courage2

Yes, meetings help a lot to build a support network. You might also want to join the One Year & Under Class (Club? I dunno) under Daily Support threads -- it's a great group. Hugs!

hardhearts

I feel like maybe I don't have much to offer because I've never been in this situation, but I have a friend who has shared her experience with me and others, she relapsed so many times over maybe a decade of trying. She finally *got* it, as she puts it, and has been clean for a few years now. She said her biggest obstacle was to stop considering herself a relapser. Because then she internalized that and it messed with her recovery. Just some thoughts. Keep going one day at a time! Congrats on two days x

lablife

Hang in there Fallow, and don't ever think that you are "weak"! I weak person would have admitted defeat and given up. Keep at it and I think that your strenght will prevail in the end.

Fallow

A new day is here. Up early and feeling much better feeling more rested. I talked with my wife on it. Strangely she asked me why I felt I needed to quit. I just told her its been too long and I cant go on living life being a drinker any longer.

She is cool with me going to some meetings though.

Tang

My wife's reaction was similar. She didn't think I had a problem (ironically she doesn't drink). She actually encouraged me to keep drinking at first because I think she saw it as a part of me.