That voice
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: England
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That voice
"One glass tonight won't hurt"
Ugh, it will because it's never a glass. I didn't buy any wine today - bought an alcohol free "wine" that I remembered having the Christmas I was pregnant. I've also got juices/sparkling water to make a (non alcoholic) cocktail should I feel the need later.
3:14pm on day two. Feeling better after a facial and haircut. Just need to stay strong through Saturday night and make it until my appointment. I know the way my mind works - if they give me meds for detox (which is likely) I won't drink. My anxiety won't let me. Even over the last few months I've not had any when I've taken a diazepam as, even though unlikely, the combination could be fatal. That scares me more powerfully than the voice urging me to have one. That voice has been with me far longer than the AV. The AV is trying to tell me tonight could be my last glass of wine because of upcoming detox, that's the one I'm fighting against mostly over the past hour. I'm going to go out for a drive - no alcohol since Thursday night at 9/10pm and no diazepam today. It will get my mind off it (haven't driven for months).
Just get through tonight sober, tomorrow is another day.
Ugh, it will because it's never a glass. I didn't buy any wine today - bought an alcohol free "wine" that I remembered having the Christmas I was pregnant. I've also got juices/sparkling water to make a (non alcoholic) cocktail should I feel the need later.
3:14pm on day two. Feeling better after a facial and haircut. Just need to stay strong through Saturday night and make it until my appointment. I know the way my mind works - if they give me meds for detox (which is likely) I won't drink. My anxiety won't let me. Even over the last few months I've not had any when I've taken a diazepam as, even though unlikely, the combination could be fatal. That scares me more powerfully than the voice urging me to have one. That voice has been with me far longer than the AV. The AV is trying to tell me tonight could be my last glass of wine because of upcoming detox, that's the one I'm fighting against mostly over the past hour. I'm going to go out for a drive - no alcohol since Thursday night at 9/10pm and no diazepam today. It will get my mind off it (haven't driven for months).
Just get through tonight sober, tomorrow is another day.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: England
Posts: 424
Thanks guys.
It wouldn't be one glass. I'd get halfway through and then I would end up 'topping up'. Before I know it the bottle would be gone and I'd be waking up having no idea how I got to bed/whether I passed out on the sofa/who the heck I'd called. It's not worth it, I keep saying that to myself.
Bit tough in hairdressers today - they were talking about their Saturday night out planned. Anyone from round here knows that highly likely means a lot of drinking. I remember being like that years ago, not so anymore.
It wouldn't be one glass. I'd get halfway through and then I would end up 'topping up'. Before I know it the bottle would be gone and I'd be waking up having no idea how I got to bed/whether I passed out on the sofa/who the heck I'd called. It's not worth it, I keep saying that to myself.
Bit tough in hairdressers today - they were talking about their Saturday night out planned. Anyone from round here knows that highly likely means a lot of drinking. I remember being like that years ago, not so anymore.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Posts: 424
Originally Posted by anewpage 
Yeah, it's never just one glass is it? I remember one time I polished off an entire bottle of wine in about 15 minutes.
Still, the urge is there. I will go out in a little bit. I think I need to be on here so I don't go and buy a bottle while out driving
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Join Date: May 2014
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Originally Posted by anewpage
The thought crosses my mind every time I leave my house. Every time I pass a shop. Its almost like it's calling to me. >
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: England
Posts: 424
It is like it calls you.
I was in the supermarket earlier and the non-alcoholic wine was in the same section. I ended up leaving and going to waitrose because their wine is so much more expensive I wouldn't be tempted. Left with fruit juice and alcohol free 'wine'. That's as crazy as I want my Saturdays to be at the moment (know how easily I could slip though, that's why I've given hubby all my money so when I'm alone I physically cannot buy wine).
I was in the supermarket earlier and the non-alcoholic wine was in the same section. I ended up leaving and going to waitrose because their wine is so much more expensive I wouldn't be tempted. Left with fruit juice and alcohol free 'wine'. That's as crazy as I want my Saturdays to be at the moment (know how easily I could slip though, that's why I've given hubby all my money so when I'm alone I physically cannot buy wine).
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