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Old 05-16-2014, 10:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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My Mom


I tried to have a conversation with my Mom earlier today. She was helping me gather up some things around her house (my old house) for me to take and use at my new apartment. I'm getting separated from my wife.

Anyways, I tried to talk to her about my last year of intentional abstinence from alcohol and drugs. Talked about my "working a program" as they say (my Lifering meetings).

She was very nice, my dear old Mom - but she looked at me and said it again (and it's been a year, I was in rehab, I overdosed!) - she said, "so really, this means you can't even just have a drink again? Not even just a beer? What, would something bad happen?"

Sigh.

-DrS
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Old 05-16-2014, 10:26 PM   #2 (permalink)
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for you Doc
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Old 05-16-2014, 10:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have got exactly that reaction a number of times from my parents in the past. I guess they have known about my struggle throughout the years - I first got sober 13 years ago. They have seen me sober and then convince myself, my husband and them that I could now handle alcohol and then explain I really needed to get sober again. They've witnessed the rollercoaster and although I haven't spoken to them about it in the last 3-4 months - they are aware how much my drinking has impacted my children's lives. If I had that sort of conversation with them again, I really don't think I would be asked those questions now eg really? never again? not just one glass after 6pm?

My alcohol abuse (and the behaviours associated with this) have only become more severe/ destructive over the years. It is now time for me to stay sober once and for all (one day at a time!).
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Old 05-16-2014, 11:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I know I said the same thing to my grandparents when they said they were no longer drinking. "What? Not even one? What would it hurt?" That was to toast their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Well, I understand a whole lot better now than I did then that one is too many. It is hard for those who aren't problem drinkers to understand. Yes, mom, something bad would happen. Cheers. I hear your sigh.
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Old 05-17-2014, 01:31 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Fortunately my mother went to alanon when i was younger so although she doesn't understand about being an alcoholic she can appreciate it. My father, on the other hand, sounds like your mother. I just leave him to live in his own bubble and have little to do with him.

Now that your sober i am certain you are thinking that if it was a child of yours you would support them and, although maybe hot completely understanding, never want them to drink/use again, right? That would be the 'good enough' space to be in. Not everyone fits that category, had they done so you might have turned out a little different:-)
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Old 05-17-2014, 01:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Doc

If you wait for non alcoholics to 'get this' you are in for a long wait. Lets face it, even we don't really understand what 'it' is.
So long as we understand that there is a solution and what we have to do to be in that solution.

Best wishes.

G
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Old 05-17-2014, 02:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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"Normies" really don't understand what we live with.
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I realized I could probably go on drinking like this for maybe two or three more years, or live for another two or three decades...but not both. Suddenly the choice became crystal clear.
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