Sister’s Wedding
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Sister’s Wedding
Since becoming Sober, this has been in the back of my mind but I’ve ignored the thoughts and not focused on it, the fact that my sister is getting married in June 2014 and I’ll be attending.
However recently things have gotten very real with the official invitation recently arriving on my doorstep, from my understanding within 4-6 weeks of the wedding it is quite traditional to send out invitations.
The wedding will be in London, my sister has lived there for over 10 years and her fiancé is from Manchester, so the Irish side of the family are traveling across for the occasion.
Has anyone been to an Irish wedding? Basically the bar is open 24/7 and aunts/uncles are usually hammered before the vows are even said, that’s probably a stereotype if I’m honest, but not too far from the truth, alcohol and Irish weddings are like a beach and sand, both go hand in hand.
Not attending isn’t an option, it is my sister’s wedding after all, hell I’ve even been roped into making a speech, as my dad is no longer with us, I haven’t even thought about it yet, but it’ll be fine, a few jokes, some nice family stuff, thank everyone for coming, a toast, and good night!!
When I first read the invitation, all I could think was, checkmate!! . . . But after a few days I realized I needed a serious strategy.
So the plan is to have a plan, I think I pretty much got my drill down to a tee, though I’m not being complacent, non alcoholic drink in hand at all times, contacts on my phone I can call at anytime to pass an hour or so, an exit strategy to leave before the late night residents bar opens . . .
. . . and my mega covert extra special trump card of bringing a +1 . . .
Currently I’m not seeing anyone, but when invited to the wedding in London, having lived there for a year in the past for work reasons, I asked my sister could I bring a friend as a +1, she agreed and I am inviting a very good friend of mine, who, wait for it, doesn’t drink that much, if any, 1 glass of wine and that’s her done for the night, I can see us hanging out all evening topping up our cranberry juices as we go along, dancing the night away to "girls just want to have fun" completely stone sober, she doesn’t know it, but she could be my guardian angel for the night.
I wanted to share as it’s been a bit of a headache these last months, it might give someone some inspiration to have a plan for social events, I’m not overly concerned, as I think I’ve got my plan in place, but as always anything I’m missing feel free to share?!!
PK
However recently things have gotten very real with the official invitation recently arriving on my doorstep, from my understanding within 4-6 weeks of the wedding it is quite traditional to send out invitations.
The wedding will be in London, my sister has lived there for over 10 years and her fiancé is from Manchester, so the Irish side of the family are traveling across for the occasion.
Has anyone been to an Irish wedding? Basically the bar is open 24/7 and aunts/uncles are usually hammered before the vows are even said, that’s probably a stereotype if I’m honest, but not too far from the truth, alcohol and Irish weddings are like a beach and sand, both go hand in hand.
Not attending isn’t an option, it is my sister’s wedding after all, hell I’ve even been roped into making a speech, as my dad is no longer with us, I haven’t even thought about it yet, but it’ll be fine, a few jokes, some nice family stuff, thank everyone for coming, a toast, and good night!!
When I first read the invitation, all I could think was, checkmate!! . . . But after a few days I realized I needed a serious strategy.
So the plan is to have a plan, I think I pretty much got my drill down to a tee, though I’m not being complacent, non alcoholic drink in hand at all times, contacts on my phone I can call at anytime to pass an hour or so, an exit strategy to leave before the late night residents bar opens . . .
. . . and my mega covert extra special trump card of bringing a +1 . . .
Currently I’m not seeing anyone, but when invited to the wedding in London, having lived there for a year in the past for work reasons, I asked my sister could I bring a friend as a +1, she agreed and I am inviting a very good friend of mine, who, wait for it, doesn’t drink that much, if any, 1 glass of wine and that’s her done for the night, I can see us hanging out all evening topping up our cranberry juices as we go along, dancing the night away to "girls just want to have fun" completely stone sober, she doesn’t know it, but she could be my guardian angel for the night.
I wanted to share as it’s been a bit of a headache these last months, it might give someone some inspiration to have a plan for social events, I’m not overly concerned, as I think I’ve got my plan in place, but as always anything I’m missing feel free to share?!!
PK
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I went to an English wedding in London and the amounts of alcohol served was phenomenal. I can imagine an Irish wedding in London would be along those lines and can empathize. Not everyone was drinking or getting drunk either, now that I think back. Hang with those people. And it is great that you can bring someone who doesn't drink or drink much. Does your sister know that you quit? If so, at some point you can probably slip out and if everyone has been drinking they probably wouldn't notice.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Mare Crisium
Posts: 1,930
Sit back and observe the other folks getting tanked.
You'll be thankful you're not, come the next morn.
Some of them will be sick and hungover for days.
Ignore their pushing and prodding to get you to join in.
No one is going to hold you down and pour it down your throat.
You can have a blast just being your sober self.
You'll be thankful you're not, come the next morn.
Some of them will be sick and hungover for days.
Ignore their pushing and prodding to get you to join in.
No one is going to hold you down and pour it down your throat.
You can have a blast just being your sober self.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
You have got this PK.
Ok. PK. Let's come up with a good strategy. I just realized an hour ago that tomorrow night I have a date (first voluntarily sober date in a trillion years) with my husband - we have been friends forever but I still need to mull a strategy around so I can have some fun. Sober. It's a little paint-by-numbers, I know.
Here are my initial thoughts:
1. Channel you inner Bridgette Jones..."How about that situation in Chechnya...?" Change your focal point from EtOH to all the people around you, who they are, what they have to say. Think about what you would like to know about each person. If you have nothing in common then introduce the person to someone who does.
2. Fizzy water. There must be fizzy water at the wedding, yes? Fizzy water is your friend. Change it up a little throughout the evening..."I'll have a soda water with a slice of lemon, [or orange, or lime, or a cherry or an olive]." Focus on the fruit in your water. Contemplate the fruit.
3. Two handkerchiefs in your suit pocket: One for the nice lady sitting next to you weeping and the other for you in case you break a sweat.
4. Wear something that makes you feel like a million dollars. Focus on posture and sucking it in (do guys do this?) throughout the night.
5. Trivial Pursuit cards in your pocket for a moment when your brain might stray. If that happens, bring it back to the sports questions. If someone is standing next to you...then ask that person the question.
6. Start writing your speech now. Focus on making it so sweet that your sister will remember it forever - recall with an enormous smile every time it comes to mind. Focus on quality not quantity with this one.
7. DANCE. A lot. Release those endorphins. Make sure your shoes and socks are comfortable.
8. Learn a few hilarious new jokes (the rule to avoid politics and religions still stands) to offer the entire wedding table where you and your +1 will be seated. Channel Bridgette Jones once again on this one.
9. Visualize success for the evening. Visualize what success means to you. Repeat until it has been internalized. Say "I do not drink" as many times as necessary for it to stick in your mind and feel comfortable coming off your lips.
10. Stand in front of a mirror and practice your speech with a glass of fizzy water and a lemon wedge.
11. Pretend that the wedding is a sporting event like your "Stanley Cup" thread here on SR. You are a participant. You will WIN!! You have got this! Again visualize what success means to you.
12. Stay strong.
13. Put the kettle on and get a little crazy. You are going to have a great time and remember every conversation with relatives and friends you may not see again ever, or at least for a very long time.
Phew. Initial thoughts. Thanks for this exercise. I feel much better about my date tomorrow.
You have got this PK. 
Here are my initial thoughts:
1. Channel you inner Bridgette Jones..."How about that situation in Chechnya...?" Change your focal point from EtOH to all the people around you, who they are, what they have to say. Think about what you would like to know about each person. If you have nothing in common then introduce the person to someone who does.
2. Fizzy water. There must be fizzy water at the wedding, yes? Fizzy water is your friend. Change it up a little throughout the evening..."I'll have a soda water with a slice of lemon, [or orange, or lime, or a cherry or an olive]." Focus on the fruit in your water. Contemplate the fruit.
3. Two handkerchiefs in your suit pocket: One for the nice lady sitting next to you weeping and the other for you in case you break a sweat.
4. Wear something that makes you feel like a million dollars. Focus on posture and sucking it in (do guys do this?) throughout the night.
5. Trivial Pursuit cards in your pocket for a moment when your brain might stray. If that happens, bring it back to the sports questions. If someone is standing next to you...then ask that person the question.
6. Start writing your speech now. Focus on making it so sweet that your sister will remember it forever - recall with an enormous smile every time it comes to mind. Focus on quality not quantity with this one.
7. DANCE. A lot. Release those endorphins. Make sure your shoes and socks are comfortable.
8. Learn a few hilarious new jokes (the rule to avoid politics and religions still stands) to offer the entire wedding table where you and your +1 will be seated. Channel Bridgette Jones once again on this one.
9. Visualize success for the evening. Visualize what success means to you. Repeat until it has been internalized. Say "I do not drink" as many times as necessary for it to stick in your mind and feel comfortable coming off your lips.
10. Stand in front of a mirror and practice your speech with a glass of fizzy water and a lemon wedge.
11. Pretend that the wedding is a sporting event like your "Stanley Cup" thread here on SR. You are a participant. You will WIN!! You have got this! Again visualize what success means to you.
12. Stay strong.
13. Put the kettle on and get a little crazy. You are going to have a great time and remember every conversation with relatives and friends you may not see again ever, or at least for a very long time.
Phew. Initial thoughts. Thanks for this exercise. I feel much better about my date tomorrow.
You have got this PK. 
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