Chicagoan

In certain recovery groups they have meetings
for people of this lifestyle and that lifestyle.... etc.
I can understand this at the very beginning of
recovery, you feel much more comfortable
candidly speaking to people with like belief
systems as yourself. There should be a point
in a person's recovery, where they are able
to come together with people of different beliefs
and lifestyles as one.

We are all souls with a deadly, incurable disease,
that is what bonds us together.

Am I wrong here?

PurpleKnight

I agree, SR has plenty of different age ranges, different addicitons, experiences, it all adds to create a diverse bunch of people, which I don't think hinders anyone!!

biminiblue

Who am I to judge what someone else feels they need for their sobriety?

I know some people need kindred spirits.

My favorite AA meeting is a womens' only meeting. I do go to other meetings, but I'm most comfortable sharing deeply with other women.

tomthern

I am still trying to find that comfortable spot. I actually like it here where there are so many people. I think that we all find our own way eventually. It just takes time.

Chicagoan

But there should be point that we can
all come together as one. We are all
battling the same monster.

Maybe besides attending lifestyle
oriented meetings, attending a
general closed meeting would
be good.

Dee74

I find it's better for me not to worry what other people are doing Chicagoan.
I have enough trouble with my own journey

D

Marjoram

I am finding a comfort level in AA, but I also like using other tools to help me with my sobriety. If I'm understanding correctly, I wish everyone could be more as a whole - but, realistically, it just doesn't happen. I have people at the AA meeting, I know I could talk to for hours on end, and others, that they seem to be busy with their own agenda, and not as interested in others. It's no different than going to a family gathering. You're all family, but doesn't mean you'll all visit the same way. I'm a very open person, but I understand and accept not everyone is the same way.

I hope I understood your point Chicagoan, and I hope you are having a good sober, weekend! Take care and stay warm. Only 42 in Michigan.

Be well!

hardhearts

My home group mostly has general meetings but there are closed men & women specific meetings as well. I love the Women's meeting, it is my favorite to attend because personally my biggest obstacle in recovery is trust. And while I enjoy weekly meetings, I feel the most comfortable with the group of women that attend this particular meeting. I've seen other groups have young people specific meetings which is also something I think helps young people in sobriety to keep from talking themselves out of attending (I do this). To each their own.

Chicagoan

Thank you everyone for the great replies.

lablife

Good lordy, Amen Dee!!!!

miamifella

I think it is not so much about where the person choosing the meeting is, but rather where the other people at the meeting are.

I have heard misogynistic responses to women sharing and homophobic dismissals when gay people have shared. Who wants to deal with b.s. like that?

You can never be sure that the other people at the meeting are ready to come together as one, since they are all at different stages of their recovery.

Chicagoan

I wish that it wasn't that way,
but it is.

yeahgr8

Dee this is brilliant and so true for me too!

I think you have encapsulated in one short sentence the key to serenity for all if us, if only i could do this 100%!

Marjoram

This is a great point. Sober, recovering, or a group of individuals that never drinks. We are all very different. Even thought we all may have the same goal, doesn't mean we are all going to get along as we travel this road together. It is truly finding the group that fits your mold. It can take time. I like men and women in my group because I grew up with 3 older brothers, and I'm used to the love and emotional side of my mother and we are blessed with a wonderful mother-daughter relationship. And my brothers kept me grounded and to know how to defend for myself and run a chainsaw and ride a motorcycle. Yes, Dad, too - but he's not a "close" type of person, still love him, though.

Thanks for the thread Chicagoan - it reminded me that the right group is key, but accepting we can't change how others may approach their sobriety or life in general, will only help our mindset. Serenity prayer indeed!

Take care.

(Miamifella - thanks for my new word for the day - "Misognystic" - I had to google it. And yes, it's a darn shame that this happens, but all we can do is try to rise above it!)

Chicagoan

Much learned.
Truths that I should have understood.

Thanks again everyone!

LBrain

There are several avenues to take on the road to recovery. Investigate the alternatives.
Alcohol does not discriminate. However, people still do. It is a fact of life. The main thing is to worry about yourself and find a group or a program that fits your needs. Going on a crusade at this point would be counter productive.

Glad you are here! There is no discrimination or divisions of alcoholics here. We are all the same.

soberlicious

No, not entirely wrong. However, I do not believe that I have a "deadly, incurable disease" and that is not what bonds me to you, my friend. What bonds me to you is the human condition. I know pain and sadness and darkness, as does every other human on this earth. It doesn't matter whether it's about addiction, or any other struggle in life...to acknowledge one another and respond from the heart is what can make a difference. It's what connects us all.
The manner in which we respond to each other can cause misunderstanding, but I choose to assume that my fellow travelers mean well. I also know that lovingkindness can come in the form of straightforward, no nonsense words.