Needinghelp82

Said to me by hubby.

Yes it is only day one.
Yes we have 'just' talked about it.
Yes I've 'just' made a phone all to the GP.

In my mind that is turning a corner. I was feeling positive, looking forward to getting rid of this problem/starting down the long road to recovery and now it feels like he expects me to fail.

I may fail. I've not succeeded yet but I WANT to be free. I want to wake up fresh instead of having a hangover. Most importantly I want to be here for my daughter growing up.

Rambling...

Kallistia

You have turned a corner.

Your friend doesn't want you to succeed. Misery loves company.

You can and will do this

least

Ignore your hubby. Prove to him by your actions that you are serious. In time he'll come to believe you.

Needinghelp82

Thank you.

Something seems to have shifted in my brain. There's a bottle of wine in the fridge, the sun is shining and I'm in no way tempted to have that 'one' glass to lift the hangover. I've planned what I'm saying to my doctor, I've rejoined on here. What more can I do on day one??

Anna

Try to focus on you and getting through the early days. Allow your husband to 'see' the changes in you as days and weeks go by. You do not need to convince him you have turned a corner. Just carry on with your recovery and as time goes by, he will notice it.

Needinghelp82

Thank you.

I am worried I will fail and he will refer back to this. I've asked him not to drink while I start on my recovery but he's still got a couple of beers in and some wine in various places. It wouldn't surprise me if he has a drink tonight.

I am positive to do it this time. Only managed a week first time around

anewpage

I'm only on day 11, but I too was annoyed in those first few days that no one seemed to be taking me seriously. All I could do was keep on keeping on and prove to them that I mean business this time. I've failed many times in the past few years, but this time something has clicked in my brain. Good luck to you, and just keep going!
You probably want to get rid of that bottle in the fridge though. Every time I've tried to get sober before, I've kept a little in the house "just in case" and I would cave EVERY TIME. It's best to just remove the temptation, as upsetting, horrifying and sad as it seems. You can do this!

firstymer

Stay strong. We are pulling for you.

Needinghelp82

Thank you. I know it needs to go, too much temptation to have 'just a sip' (aka the whole bloody thing).

I never thought I'd be here, I don't imagine anyone does.

phoebe64

Just prove him wrong. You can do this. Do it for yourself, and not for what he thinks, and do not let him distract you from your plan.

JaneLane

I had this problem too and I found it quite distressing for the first couple of weeks. I guess the thing to remember is that you have made a huge step to ask for help. That's massive, and just because your husband doesn't get it, or can't understand at this point, doesn't make it any less of a big deal.

I think the opinions of others really affect us at the early stages of recovery. Just remember that you can do this for yourself. You are enough.

anewpage

I always knew I had an addictive personality but I never thought I would actually "become" an alcoholic. I just thought I was a "regular drinker", lol.
I met someone nice at AA yesterday and when she took my number, she put me in her phone as "AA Angie" lmao. Who'd have thought it.

(btw, does your user name indicate you were born in '82? I was born that year. Also I am from England too so we may have a few things in common )

biminiblue

One of the things I use to try to numb out was the worry about other people - in general.

It is so freeing to only have to worry about me and my thoughts and my recovery. No one made me drink, no one can stop me from drinking.

It is now and always has been my hand with that glass in it going to my mouth.

Needinghelp82

Thanks. He was going to come into the doctors but I'm afraid he will make me feel worse. I know I've been putting him through a lot recently but I need to have control of this and do it for me. Last time I'm not sure whet here is really wanted/needed/understood the depth of my addiction. I knew I was an alcoholic but convinced myself I could cope.

Ridiculous, I went to a PTA thing last week and had to have a small glass before I went. I then met a friend and we shared three bottles and several shots. I keep up the next day covered in bruises, no idea how I'd gotten home and with a hole in my new skirt. Looking back that should have been the time to rejoin/seek help. Instead I had a dink to take the edge off and haven't been into work since. Shocking, I hate what I've become.

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant/vent!

Needinghelp82

Yup, in sunny old England, have been since late 1982!

You know, I do think I've got an addictive personality. I went through a phase at uni of smoking weed, apparently non addictive but clearly I was addicted in some way. Got that sorted and now I've ended up as an alcoholic. Really really sucks.

anewpage

Yay for people born in the UK in '82 who are alcoholics with addictive personalities!! (ie, you and me. lol)
Yeah, I think you can get psychologically addicted to something. like, even if weed isn't *actually* addictive, the effects can be. I've never done it, so I don't know exactly what happens to someone when they smoke it.
All I know is I've always been an addictive, obsessive type. If I like something/do something, I'm going to go the whole hog.

Needinghelp82

Lol at the first line!

It was a stupid thing to do. Fell in with a stupid crowd and went the whole hog. Same with smoking, either no cigs at all or chain smoking.

God I'm a mess!

anewpage

That may be, but you're doing something about it, and that's what matters.

FreeOwl

I don't know your situation or relationship but I do know that people who love those who struggle with addiction often carry a lot of pain, doubt, ugly memories, and skepticism that stems from a lot of very difficult experiences with the addicts / alcoholics they love.

It is often very challenging for them to see the difference between "I SWEAR, THIS TIME is DIFFERENT" and a true shift in the alcoholic's psyche that precedes real recovery.

My reflection would be this; as much as you wish you had support and encouragement, try to have empathy for your husband and compassion for his perspective.... focus on what you must do to support your recovery and seek your encouragement where it can most reasonably be had.

As you demonstrate the change, the support and encouragement will come. Be aware that there will likely be a 'healing' period and that you may have some tough work to do in your relationship as you move through that.... but as you stick with committment to your recovery and as you heal and grow and change you will be able to embrace that work and your relationship - along with everything else in your life - will benefit for it.

gardendiva

Don't look to your husband for empowerment, look within. Good luck.