Bruno1979

Hi everybody,

I'm back again and still sober, its an interestesting Q that I asked my self today, on facebook I've got 900+ friends, the majority from school.

I then questioned how many "real" friends do I have, I windled it down to around 20.

The next step was to ask how many "non drinking real" friends do I have and the answer is zero!

Upon further relection though at a guess I'd say that 20 of the 20 haven't got a drink problem but they'd abuse me jovialy (sp) by not having a beer.

All isn't lost though because I'm not too fussed because I'm on the right path and I'm happy.

Reverting back to the original question, what would you answer be?

Bruno

Stoogy

Yeah drinking buddies are pretty much all I had back in the day, think they probably still hang around the same bars etc. so I had Zero real friends just bottle buddies.

Bruno1979

Same here Stoogy,

Thanks for your response,

I hope you're good,

Bruno.

FreeOwl

my experience has been that while almost all of my friends are still my friends in sobriety - the nature of many friendships has shifted. It stands out starkly how many friendships were 'close' largely because of the significant amounts of time spent drinking together.

ScottFromWI

Most of my old friends are still my friends now that I am sober. A few were purely drinking buddies, and I don't really see them anymore though.

FreeFall

I still have many of my same friends, but find myself relating more to my old friends from way back. My drinking buddy friends have too much chaos-it makes me anxious to be around them for long-makes me relive the stress of the drinking lifestyle.

I don't have many people where I live now at all that are non drinking related friendships.

Thepatman

I had to let go all mine, including family members.
Pretty much on my own with my little son and my puppy.

It's something I'm working on. Everyone I meet drink like fishes. LOL!

Mountainmanbob

I lost no friends when I stopped drinking

drunk drinking buddies I do not consider to be true friends

MM

DoubleDragons

I have wanted my sobriety to be so much more than just "not drinking." It has to be to be, to be a true recovery. I used to joke that I was a "freak magnet." Well, maybe I was a freak magnet, because I was more of a "freak" than I care to admit. In my thirties, we lived in a different state and while I had many, many friends, most of them were my friends because they had kids my kids ages and they liked to party. We moved to a different state for my husband's job and at first I was still drinking, but really contemplating not drinking and starting a lot of things in my life over with a new fresh slate. Well, because I was still drinking, I again started attracting "fast crowd friends." I really pulled back because that is not what I want for my life anymore. I have not made a lot of true, new friends here in my new city, but that is okay. I am working on becoming the healthiest version of myself that I can be so that I attract healthier people in my life that can help me in positive growth and hopefully I can do the same for them. I do feel very warmly towards so many on SR and in a way, I count them as my friends.

LBrain

First of all, friends on facebook don't count. I'm friends with President Obama -- no I'm not.
Can't stand him. But cyber friends...

Anyway, real friends will always be a real friend whether you drink or not. Drinking buddies are drinking buddies. You'll find out soon after you are sober who your real friends are.

Received

Hasn't directly effected any of my friendships because no one knew I was a drinker. Since I quit however, I find I am much less tolerant of the crap I used to put up with because I thought I deserved it.

yeahgr8

It was 0 for me, no loss though they are dead easy to replace:-)

IWillWin

I've realized, over time, that my friends I used to party with do love me but don't know how to include me. Also, I feel uncomfortable in their presence because drinking is something g they enjoy very much and frequent the places where alcoholics flourish - bars, sports events, happy hours, well you get the picture. Going out for coffee is just awkward because they would rather be drinking and there is a huge elephant in the room. Frankly, I don't like drunk people (yes, fully aware I was one but didn't like them then either) and they would rather be drunk on their off time. So getting together is just pointless now. It is a strained effort for them to refrain because they WANT to drink. And I know it. And I get annoyed because I know they want to and are not because they don't know how to hang with sober people.

So, I avoid it. Period. It is too convoluted and fraught with unsaid things and everyone is just doing what we think we are supposed to. Time for new friends. They mean well but I cannot patch the distance that my sobriety has presented. And it is the most important thing to me so...I have told them so and expressed my feelings clearly and compassionately I think.

Being drunk was so much easier. But so much worse. So easy to drink and let it take over. So destructive to drink and let it take over. Ah, the trials and tribulations of sober life. But I will take it over a drunk one any day

Sorry for the long post. Just venting...

CAPTAINZING2000

There's a combination of not drinking and going down different roads in life.
I no longer wish to go to get together a where a lot of drinking will occur and the people that drink a lot probably aren't going to invite me.

joshlyman

I was at the point where I even started to drink away my drinking friends. They were hard drinkers (some harder than I was) but they didn't quite act like me and they grew tired of me and my blackedout drunken antics. I held onto drinking for months because I was scared of losing my social life but one week sober and I realized my "social life" was me and my bottle in my room. The friends I did have knew better than to ever invite me for a night out of drinking.

Upward2Enlightenment

I don't have many friends, many acquaintances but not many friends.