Very depressed today
Stop this ride I wanna get off
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26
Very depressed today
I don't know if it's the change of antidepressants or the craving for a drink...maybe both...but I'm extremely irritable today. I just don't want to do anything. I don't want to spend time with my family, don't want to clean house, nothing. I'm crying at this moment. Husband is no help. Instead of being patient and supportive, he bitches back at me. I know that I'm no fun to live with right now, but I don't need that attitude right now.
Anyway, had to come here and see everyone else's milestones to keep me going. That includes anyone that has had a temporary lapse in sanity. The fact that you are still here and can acknowledge it is a milestone to me!
Anyway, had to come here and see everyone else's milestones to keep me going. That includes anyone that has had a temporary lapse in sanity. The fact that you are still here and can acknowledge it is a milestone to me!
YOUR DETERMINATION AMID ISSUES GOING ON AROUND YOU SPEAKS VOLUMES. :wow: YOUR AN INSPIRATION.It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
'Temporary lapse in sanity' I have those way too often. Just know that you will get through this, it will pass. Take the day slow and remember you are not alone, there are so many people out there going through exactly what you are going through. And if you believe in an HP, he is right there with you.
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
((((kim)))
I could so id with you.I go thru that sometimes.I find when I can to move a muscle change a thought works for me,or a meeting if that is your means of recovery.Its tough to ride out the mood swings in early recovery.I had alot of days when I went up and down like a rollercoaster.I find its best for me not to isolate during these times as it gives my disease the upper hand.For all the ups and downs its still been an amazing ride.I hope you feel better! Prayers ^ 
Trish
Trish
knucklehead
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
kim, i have been very depressed lately and at the same time i am serously craving some alcohol. i think the depression that i have been feeling is the addict trying to get a drink. it has been able to work its way in to my emotional system and manipulate it. the addict that is my other half is really hurting. it is hungry, starving in fact. it is a very strong foe. i guess i am going to have to suffer some more to get myself free.
i have found that getting out and going for a walk or getting some exersize really helps me with the depression. even though i feel that i dont have the strength to get out and get some exercise. once i get started my energy returns and i am able to relax and at least feel a little better.
no matter how it makes me feel i am not going to drink today. i would rather feel the depression then to go through all the trouble that drinking causes me.
i have found that getting out and going for a walk or getting some exersize really helps me with the depression. even though i feel that i dont have the strength to get out and get some exercise. once i get started my energy returns and i am able to relax and at least feel a little better.
no matter how it makes me feel i am not going to drink today. i would rather feel the depression then to go through all the trouble that drinking causes me.
Mik
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Illinois
Posts: 11
I feel the same way, and I have the husband to go along with it too! I just try to think of other things (not drinking). Maybe go into a room all by yourself and listen to your favorite CD or watch a movie, this way you are relaxing and keeping your mind off the addiction. Don't let anyone get in the way of your recovery. I chose not to let other people influence my recovery and today is day 7. While not a long time, it is the longest I have ever been sober since I was 13, I am 35 now. I never want to go through the early stages of withdrawl again and alot of that has me on track for the first time in my life. Hang in there! We are all here for you. 
Mik
Mik
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
((((((((((((((Kim))))))))))))))
You are not alone my friend! I have these days still..granted they are fewewr and further between..but come they do. and it is tough. I always feel like o9n those days that everything I have accomplished so far has juts gone down the drain. Not true at all. We are human, we are fragile some days and stronger other days. What I remind myself self and meditate on is the 'center' of myself..the part of me that CAN be serene and peaceful no matter the storms around me. Some times it is a gratitude list that works, the Prayer of St Francis does the truck some times also. Reaching out to9 another if I am isolating, walking in nature soothes me soul many times, getting your hair or nails done, pampering yourself...maybe write in ajournal and explore what it is that would help center YOU..you're worth it you know. It will get better. Don't forget to breathe, maybe light a candle...watch it flicker and repeat I breathe in, I breathe out..I do this ALOT...LOL..some days the agitation is brutal..but you can get past it..and you will. One step at atime. It will be okay.
((((((((((((((((Warmest Hugs of Light and Love))))))))))
You are not alone my friend! I have these days still..granted they are fewewr and further between..but come they do. and it is tough. I always feel like o9n those days that everything I have accomplished so far has juts gone down the drain. Not true at all. We are human, we are fragile some days and stronger other days. What I remind myself self and meditate on is the 'center' of myself..the part of me that CAN be serene and peaceful no matter the storms around me. Some times it is a gratitude list that works, the Prayer of St Francis does the truck some times also. Reaching out to9 another if I am isolating, walking in nature soothes me soul many times, getting your hair or nails done, pampering yourself...maybe write in ajournal and explore what it is that would help center YOU..you're worth it you know. It will get better. Don't forget to breathe, maybe light a candle...watch it flicker and repeat I breathe in, I breathe out..I do this ALOT...LOL..some days the agitation is brutal..but you can get past it..and you will. One step at atime. It will be okay.
((((((((((((((((Warmest Hugs of Light and Love))))))))))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
I have used a similiar breathing mantra since I was in college
(over 20 yrs.ago)....
I visualize the word "IN" while I am taking a deep breath in through my nose.
I visualize the word "OUT" while I am breathing out, I have to see the words in order to keep my mind busy enough to be still, hope that makes sense.
(over 20 yrs.ago)....
I visualize the word "IN" while I am taking a deep breath in through my nose.
I visualize the word "OUT" while I am breathing out, I have to see the words in order to keep my mind busy enough to be still, hope that makes sense.
(((((2stop)))) Thank you...
"Don't forget to breathe, maybe light a candle...watch it flicker and repeat I breathe in, I breathe out..I do this ALOT...LOL..some days the agitation is brutal..but you can get past it..and you will. One step at atime.
It will be okay. -2stop"
"Don't forget to breathe, maybe light a candle...watch it flicker and repeat I breathe in, I breathe out..I do this ALOT...LOL..some days the agitation is brutal..but you can get past it..and you will. One step at atime.
It will be okay. -2stop"
Prayer of St. Francis Assisi
Lord,
Make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
Where there is discord, harmony.
Where there is error, truth.
Where there is wrong, the spirit of forgiveness.
O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand.
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Lord,
Make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
Where there is discord, harmony.
Where there is error, truth.
Where there is wrong, the spirit of forgiveness.
O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand.
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Stop this ride I wanna get off
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26
Thanks everyone. I've been "on and off" all day today. I felt better a little while ago. Even went on a bike ride with my son. Decided to actually cook for a change and made some beef stew. That kept me busy for a little while. Now I'm down again. I just can't cope with anything stressful. I just break down in tears.
Kel, yes I'm familiar with that mantra. I even got some yoga books from the library and picked up a dvd.
Anyway...thanks for letting me vent. Like they say "This too shall pass". You are all the best!
Kel, yes I'm familiar with that mantra
. I even got some yoga books from the library and picked up a dvd.Anyway...thanks for letting me vent. Like they say "This too shall pass". You are all the best!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
'Temporary lapse in sanity'
I just call them my day off. Seems that every so often things hit that I feel tired, lazy, emotionally empty... how ever you would like to discribe it.
In a world that says Go Go Go we all need to say Enough! and take a day or two for self.
hmmm beef stew *LOL* remembering when I was but 5 or 6.
My mother had just started working. My dad was teaching and going to school as well. Mom made the stew. When dad came home, he didn't know if it had the flour added yet. (before cell phones) Rather then wait an hour for mom to call, He added flour to thicken the beef stew. Well... we had paste covered beef and potatos that night. Of the 8 of us, I was the only one who would eat it or liked it. *LOL* I have grown taste buds since.
I just call them my day off. Seems that every so often things hit that I feel tired, lazy, emotionally empty... how ever you would like to discribe it.
In a world that says Go Go Go we all need to say Enough! and take a day or two for self.
hmmm beef stew *LOL* remembering when I was but 5 or 6.
My mother had just started working. My dad was teaching and going to school as well. Mom made the stew. When dad came home, he didn't know if it had the flour added yet. (before cell phones) Rather then wait an hour for mom to call, He added flour to thicken the beef stew. Well... we had paste covered beef and potatos that night. Of the 8 of us, I was the only one who would eat it or liked it. *LOL* I have grown taste buds since.
we're all mad here!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
I like your phrase .
My sanity never came back
but I'm not using or drinking.
You have this bull by the horns...... you know your desire to drink could be caused by your change in antidepressant meds. I'm also dually diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I can attest to the veracity of your belief. The change in meds will definitely mess with your recovery and make you irritable. You just have to ride it out. Keep reading and posting here, find something that can occupy your mind, even tho I imagine that is difficult.
Your husband. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I wish he would listen when you tell him what is going on!
That includes anyone that has had a temporary lapse in sanity.
My sanity never came back
but I'm not using or drinking.You have this bull by the horns...... you know your desire to drink could be caused by your change in antidepressant meds. I'm also dually diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I can attest to the veracity of your belief. The change in meds will definitely mess with your recovery and make you irritable. You just have to ride it out. Keep reading and posting here, find something that can occupy your mind, even tho I imagine that is difficult.
Your husband. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I wish he would listen when you tell him what is going on!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Kim
I wanted to thank you for your honesty in posting. It really helped me to feel not so alone, and all the replies you received helped me too.
My antidepressants have been changed recently too so I feel a little off the beam myself. Actually I feel downright awful. I feel numb, actually. Anyway, I echo what everyone else has said. I agree that exercise does wonders, even if you have to really push yourself hard to get started. Someone else mentioned how harmful isolation is, and I agree wholeheartedly. I stayed in yesterday and ignored the world, and by evening I was a mess. I forced myself out of bed this morning for a workout, and I just did some cardio now that I am home from work. I don't feel great, but life feels a little more manageable. I'm glad to hear you are checking out yoga; that's one of my favourite ways to relax/medidate/exercise. You are not alone; it just feels that way. Hang in there and keep coming back!
Love, Rowan
I wanted to thank you for your honesty in posting. It really helped me to feel not so alone, and all the replies you received helped me too.
My antidepressants have been changed recently too so I feel a little off the beam myself. Actually I feel downright awful. I feel numb, actually. Anyway, I echo what everyone else has said. I agree that exercise does wonders, even if you have to really push yourself hard to get started. Someone else mentioned how harmful isolation is, and I agree wholeheartedly. I stayed in yesterday and ignored the world, and by evening I was a mess. I forced myself out of bed this morning for a workout, and I just did some cardio now that I am home from work. I don't feel great, but life feels a little more manageable. I'm glad to hear you are checking out yoga; that's one of my favourite ways to relax/medidate/exercise. You are not alone; it just feels that way. Hang in there and keep coming back!
Love, Rowan
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: toronto, ontario, canada
Posts: 224
Dear Kim,
I have been where you are today many times. You did the right thing by coming to share with us. You got some really great loving replies. I really get a kick out of all the unconditional love fellow alcoholics give to eachother when one of us is down. I say a prayer for you. Remember, every sober day is a gift and making it through those difficult sober day is miraculous.
I have been where you are today many times. You did the right thing by coming to share with us. You got some really great loving replies. I really get a kick out of all the unconditional love fellow alcoholics give to eachother when one of us is down. I say a prayer for you. Remember, every sober day is a gift and making it through those difficult sober day is miraculous.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Kim,
Boy that emotional depressing rollercoaser ride kicked in for me about the same time as you in your sobreity. It's normal sweety. Just don't be so hard on yourself, people have a hard time remembering in early sobriety, or body's physiologically are going through some huge changes and especially the chemical changes in the brain, causing your depression.
However, if it get's worse, don't hesitate to see a doctor about this. Some of us need a little help in getting mentaly fit again, it's a long process, but you'll see this is the right thing to do. You'll find beauty in sobriety, appreciate the little things, enjoy doing so much you couldn't do while drinking. Be patient with yourself, your right where you should be. *hugs*
Boy that emotional depressing rollercoaser ride kicked in for me about the same time as you in your sobreity. It's normal sweety. Just don't be so hard on yourself, people have a hard time remembering in early sobriety, or body's physiologically are going through some huge changes and especially the chemical changes in the brain, causing your depression.
However, if it get's worse, don't hesitate to see a doctor about this. Some of us need a little help in getting mentaly fit again, it's a long process, but you'll see this is the right thing to do. You'll find beauty in sobriety, appreciate the little things, enjoy doing so much you couldn't do while drinking. Be patient with yourself, your right where you should be. *hugs*
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