The way I'm able to glamorise alcohol in my mind is astonishing?
 

I didn't quite know how to put a title on my post.

On the way home from work today - it's a long drive - I thought of having a 'few drinks' to relax when I got home. It is bizarre that sort of thought still comes to mind so easily when I am so aware of all the disastrous consequences.

I didn't drink and I am sober this evening.I quickly deflected this thought but.... it is quite bewildering how a thought like that can cross my mind. I guess this is what it means to be an alcoholic. So many times in the past - I have let a thought like this gain momentum and the next thing I'm buying wine. I'm glad I let go of the thought today and instead considered the consequences.

I'm glad you didn't give in. :) Stay sober and eventually alcohol will just be a bad memory and will not haunt your present life.

Yup.

However...
This is what it means to be taking back your life. :)

Congratulations. Keep doing what you're doing. It seems to be working. :ring

This reminds me of each time I've relapsed. We sometimes remember what it did FOR us instead of what it did TO us. By remembering my last drunk (many consecutive days of non-stop drinking followed by immense shaking, depression and suicidal thoughts) I remember how BAD it was. I still remember what it did for me sometimes, but have developed this habit of remembering of how I felt then compared to how I feel now with 13 months sobriety--and there's no comparison.

Best of luck! Keep reaching out--this site has really helped me!

Coming here & sharing that with us is trying something different, and it helps us AND you. That's the magic of recovery communities....we remind each other of the stupid s**t our diseases will convince us to do if we're alone.

Because I was so good at the glamorizing, too, I wrote a list in my sobriety journal. This list (longer than I wish to admit) is filled with every negative memory I have related to drinking. Every embarrassing, dangerous, hurtful, sad, sick thing I did to myself and others when I was under the influence of alcohol. So, when the glamour thoughts enter my mind, it is now trained to go to the not so pretty List.

Double dragons, I don't think i would have enough paper!!!! Hahahaha!

AF, great job!

Would you believe that me with 23 yrs.
sobriety I entertained thoughts of beer
yesterday? Well, I did, but soon dismissed
it because it does no good to fantasize
or dream about ever drinking alcohol
successfully in my life.

I was in search yesterday to find a clear
coffee mug/cup so that I could see the
froth more clearly in my cup. Anyway,
I found a good size mug at Wally World
which was a "beer mug" Rootbeer Mug
or a ice cream float mug.

Later yesterday while watching tv, a
commercial came on where a beer mug
was slid across the counter and triggered
an unhealthy drinking thought. However,
even with a many one days sober, im
not exempt from those poping in at anytime,
at any place.

Thank God or my HP- Higher Power of
my understanding I have been taught
about my addiction and its affects on
my mind, body and soul as well as those
around me.

Thank goodness for a program of recovery
to incorporate in my everyday life and in
situations that cropped up yesterday.

Listen, Learn, Absorb, Apply all there is
about addiction and live a sober life with
willingness, openmindedness and honesty
for many yrs. to come. :)

hey OP I felt like this on Friday night, it was one of those drinking nights like many others, but I held back, and on Saturday morning I got up at 7am to go for a jog and it felt so good being sober and not having that groggy feeling I was glad I didn't cave in.

AlcoholFree66, I didn't drink and I am sober this evening? You are FANTASTIC, congratulations. It's always nice to hear a victory story over alcohol, rootin for ya. :egypt:

Good job on not drinking. As I read the OP I was thinking, NON-alcoholics think like this too.

True dat.

Humans are predisposed to optimism because memories of positive experiences tend to figure more heavily in our emotional thinking than memories of the negatives. Our ancient ancestors who remembered the joy of finding fresh water kept putting one foot in front of the other during the drought. The ones who could only recall the pain of finding a dried up water hole sat down and died. We descended from optimists. :)

It doesn't serve us well in addiciton, though. That's why DoubleDragon's exercise of writing down a list of the negatives is such a powerful tool. It forces an elevation of memory in the thought process from emotional to deliberative, and enables more rational choices.

:ring

I will write down my 'unglamorous' list today - it is a great suggestion. I'm so glad I didn't let the thought gain momentum and decide to drink yesterday. If I had I wouldn't be off to a yoga class shortly - I'd be feeling sick and remorseful and dealing with the extreme upset of my family. Thanks all for your responses.

self deception can be one of the roots of all evil

just got to be aware of the liquid devil

MM

I hope my friend that in 23 years those thoughts will be occasional for me. Instead of every freakin day! Nice wisdom in your post as always ;-)

I fondly remember warm evenings on a terrace in the south of France overlooking the Mediterranean, watching the sun sink, glass of local red wine in hand, and full of fabulous food. Ah the good life!!

The reality was a minimum of two bottles of wine, the food on top would wake me with palpitations in the middle of the night so I would toss and tuen and wake up exhausted and hung over. I would need a toilet in the middle of a strange French town the next day to relieve my battered innards and be terrified I wouldn't find one in time. And I would be so freaked and wired that my more or less useable French would come out in stammers and stutters because my brain was fried and my anxiety levels off the scale!

Oh how we fool ourselves!

Just make sure once you see that glamorous picture in your mind that you play out the reality of the situation. What is likely to end up happening? Mentium said it well.

Nice going, AlcoholFree66, on flexing those sober muscles!!!