Day 1 Despair
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 2
Day 1 Despair
I thought I would try something new. I've been suffering through a cycle of constant relapses, each one getting worse. I cannot do this anymore. The feeling of shame, despair and hopelessness are more than I feel I can endure.
There's no solution left other than committing to sobriety. Now, it's day one and I just feel horrendous. I seem to go for a few weeks and then either travel or something happens when I hit the bottle. I can't accrue any time and just when I start feeling good, I tend to derail myself.
I guess I need some hope right now. Am pretty low on it.
There's no solution left other than committing to sobriety. Now, it's day one and I just feel horrendous. I seem to go for a few weeks and then either travel or something happens when I hit the bottle. I can't accrue any time and just when I start feeling good, I tend to derail myself.
I guess I need some hope right now. Am pretty low on it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome,
You know I will never forget how miserable I felt in the first days of recovery. Emotionally, physically and spiritually - it was the worst I've ever felt. But, yes, have lots of hope. You can get through this. There's no way around it, but to go through it. And, then you never have to go through it again.
If you find yourself going back to drinking after a few weeks, I would ask you what other changes you have made in your life besides stopping drinking?
You know I will never forget how miserable I felt in the first days of recovery. Emotionally, physically and spiritually - it was the worst I've ever felt. But, yes, have lots of hope. You can get through this. There's no way around it, but to go through it. And, then you never have to go through it again.
If you find yourself going back to drinking after a few weeks, I would ask you what other changes you have made in your life besides stopping drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 2
Anna, thank you for your words. I appreciate them. Yes, there's no hell like that of a relapse. Just the all-encompassing misery of it.
I think your comment is one to consider. I look at some of my behavior for evidence of the major relapses - travel and isolating - I need to commit to keeping myself in one place for 90 days at least.
I think your comment is one to consider. I look at some of my behavior for evidence of the major relapses - travel and isolating - I need to commit to keeping myself in one place for 90 days at least.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
It is not easy, this is a great place for support. I know I can always log on to get support and to have a new day one. I have had a few too. Any relapses too, the fact that you are here is a good start !!
:-)
:-)
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 62
Make a habit of logging onto this site and seeing all of the people that deal with the same kinds of things. Remembering that I am not alone out there does wonders for my confidence that I'll get better.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,779
Welcome! 
The early days of recovery can be rough, but they will soon be over and you can get on with the business of living sober. If you never drink again, you never have to go thru this hell again.
The early days of recovery can be rough, but they will soon be over and you can get on with the business of living sober. If you never drink again, you never have to go thru this hell again. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
You mention that you travel a lot. I attend AA meetings (for the group support as much as the program) and there is a group in every town of any size. My local groups are always welcoming people who are passing through. Might be worth considering.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Yes, AlainDelon, welcome to this forum This is an invaluable resource for staying committed to being sober.
I have gone just over 2weeks with my commitment and once I realized that I NEEDED to do this I was terrified.
Today has been a great day and I am not afraid. Who knows what tomorrow will be like. I take great comfort in knowing that no matter what, I have this fantastic community to help me along with whatever comes my way.
Lean on the great people here. They are so wise and everyone has 'been there'. Helps take the fear out of this whole process.
Welcome again!
This is an invaluable resource for staying committed to being sober.I have gone just over 2weeks with my commitment and once I realized that I NEEDED to do this I was terrified.
Today has been a great day and I am not afraid. Who knows what tomorrow will be like. I take great comfort in knowing that no matter what, I have this fantastic community to help me along with whatever comes my way.
Lean on the great people here. They are so wise and everyone has 'been there'. Helps take the fear out of this whole process.
Welcome again!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: S.E. Wisconsin
Posts: 341
I have tried to quit many times over
the decades, once remaining sober
for 9 months, always relapsing.
Then I regressed to a point where
I couldn't do it on my
own anymore. After a horrible
withdraw, I received professional
help and was detoxified.
I am sober today and have no desire
to drink (right now) and I pray it
remains that way.
You CAN do it!
the decades, once remaining sober
for 9 months, always relapsing.
Then I regressed to a point where
I couldn't do it on my
own anymore. After a horrible
withdraw, I received professional
help and was detoxified.
I am sober today and have no desire
to drink (right now) and I pray it
remains that way.
You CAN do it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 283
I can't tell you how many day 1s I've had. It got to the point where I was so sick of the same thing over and over again. The dry mouth,the headaches, not being able to sleep or eat,throwing up,the mental hell I was in. As long as you don't drink you never have to feel this way again.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
Welcome AlainDelon! The good news is this can be your last day 1! It can only get better from here. Its hard in the beginning. I stick close to SR especially when I am having a hard time. It really helps to have support here.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Glad to meet you Alain.
I went through the same despair many times. After I joined SR I learned so much & I never felt alone again. I had no one in my life to discuss it with - they were all social drinkers. Being here has helped calm my anxiety & given me hope. You can do this.
I went through the same despair many times. After I joined SR I learned so much & I never felt alone again. I had no one in my life to discuss it with - they were all social drinkers. Being here has helped calm my anxiety & given me hope. You can do this.
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