Aiko

I have gone 4 times to NA and this bloke has befriended me,
and there is some attraction, he is always asking how I am doing, etc.

So he gave me his number in case I need to talk to someone or I think I am going to do something.... and he said give me a miss call...
and I did not think on the spot!!!
he asked me a couple of times I take you, I said no thanks...
so he started texing me and I am getting nervous...

He is really nice to me but............. I know deep down he wants to score
and I am getting very worked out, I really am mess right now...
But I am not stupid!
I told him I would go on Thursday...
But I Decided am not gona go to NA anymore!

A predator took advante of me once...
I swore I would not put myself in danger anymore.
This time I am clean and awake!
Just heard my phone and I jump!!!

He has not done anything and he is kind to me,
but I do not trust him...
If he gets a chance he will take it!
On top he has been 10 years in Jail and Just overcomed leuquemia...

I am onto my third week, I am weak and down to 53 kg,
I am working many hours...
Last week was really hard to control myself!!!
But I just do not want to go to anymore meetings...

So yesterday I learned what a 13th stepper was!

ReadyAtLast

Can you maybe just tell him you will stick with the women in NA. Sit with the women and stick with them

Or find another meeting.

It seems a shame to let him put you off going if you are getting some benefit from it

FeenixxRising

This is one of the dangers of 12-step groups. I urge all women to be careful in AA and NA meetings. There are men in meetings who talk-the-talk but they don't walk-the-walk.

Aiko, how did he get your number? Also, I strongly suggest you politely, but forcefully tell him not to call you any longer. And you may tell want to tell another woman that this man is has been asking out. That way another person is aware of his behavior.

Bottom line, stay away from him as much as possible.

Aiko

There are few women and few meetings in Costa del Sol...
I would have to drive really far to go.

It was really hard for me to go... and when I finaly go I get in troubles.
I just can not go with the tension!
I know he is going to try to get me back in the meetings...
But I will not go!

Another lesson...

Deebee82

Do you have a friend that could go with you so you wont be alone? I don't know if they allow that but that would be my suggestion. Sorry he's being creepy and making it harder on you.

MIRecovery

If there are no women find an old timer male and let him know what is going on. He will likely put an end to it quickly. In the meetings I go to 13th stepping is not permitted.

biminiblue

Yeah, tell one of the long-time members, they should look after you.

I have men talk me up in meetings too. One guy I gave my number and he called every day for three weeks.

The world is full of men who will be like this. You have dealt with them before in real life, right? Don't let him scare you away, just tell him to stop calling you and that you are not interested in any contact outside of meetings right now with male members.

Aiko

It is Open meetings only once a month!
And I do not have friends that would come along with me...

I just wanted NA as a back up for when I am going crazy I can go to a meeting.
But I am thinking I might join the gym again... so I am busy!

But I am not going to go anymore!
Seriously there are mostly men...
In my first meeting there were about 15 blokes at least and me!
And he is going to try me out... and I am not well...
I am going to tell him I am dating someone to cool him off!

MIRecovery

In general just because some one doesn't drink doesn't mean they are in recovery

MIRecovery

Don't tell him you are dating someone tell him to F off. You have enough problems without worrying about a jerk

Notimetoloose

Your intuition is your best friend and far too often we ignore it or dismiss it by telling ourselves we are being silly. Your safety and welfare are the most important.

If it is at all possible tell him clearly that you are not interested. If he does not respect your wishes block his calls and if need be get further assistance to enforce no contact.

I am so sorry for your distress and know how uncomfortable these meetings would be with his unwanted advances, please don't let him impact you or your sobriety...your sobriety is going to have many challengers.

Carlotta

that!!!!
Also block his number. I use that free app on my android and I just love it https://play.google.com/store/apps/d...number.blocker
And if he approaches you again, tell him sweetly:
My friends at SR told me there are only 12 steps in NA and that you are a sick puppy.
If you are truly too shaken to go back, give AA a try. There are women in AA and a lot of AA group are accepting of addicts because so many people are dually addicted.

Aiko

This is just the top the cherry!

I really am trying to keep out of trouble...
I fallen out with my sober friends.
Got left druggy friends and my family does not know...
I feel so alone with my problem...
I really could do with support now... no more tension!
I was banking that I could go to NA and now I am not going to go anymore!

Will have to be strong to draw him the line!
On thursday he will be looking for me...
Just my luck!

Thank you for all your suggestions!

Aiko

I will think about AA I drink as well...
and will tell him to F off or I send my SR friends on to you!!!
God you made me laugh!!!
At long last!!!

Thank you all

SoberLeigh

Yes, tell him to be afraid, very afraid; he will meet his match when he comes up against your SR friends.!!!

Carlotta

and don't forget that we have a chat meeting here too (actually tonight).
It's not really NA or AA but it is a nice discussion recovery meeting. The moderator picks a topic and we discuss it. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-meeting.html

Mountainmanbob

he might be the greatest guy in the world
but
if you were my sister or friend
I would tell you to run fast and don't look back

MM

Carlotta

How to handle a 13th stepper

SoberLeigh

How's it going Aiko???? Did you go back to NA?

iSPAZ

I agree with mountainmanbob.