Wine tasting party
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Carlotta, that's a good thought. I'm sure management thinks they are being magnificent and generous including this module so I don't want to fuss. I have a good professional reputation and get along well with most everyone.
see? Everything does happen for a reason! I was going to sit on this for my usual three days but thanks to Patricia (and apologies for hijacking your thread) I think we all got a lot out of this. Thanks for all the advice, support and suggestions.
love from Lenina
see? Everything does happen for a reason! I was going to sit on this for my usual three days but thanks to Patricia (and apologies for hijacking your thread) I think we all got a lot out of this. Thanks for all the advice, support and suggestions.
love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
White Lies
Glad I skipped a lot of this malarkey by Retiring at 48 from the High Tech World. I would not have coped well with some of these situations. Didn't have as many coping tricks in my Bag way back then.
A few ideas...
1. I just bought some 'Sparkling Grape Juice' to drink while Da Wife drinks Champagne for a Birthday Celebration. Fine by me. Actually, the smell of Champagne and Red Wine now smacks me upside the Head. Really strong, and no attraction after >4 months now on the Lifetime Wagon.
2. Keeping my Mobile in my Pocket [or in Belt Clip], I've been known to fake a lil twitch and pretend I just got an important Call while my Mobile was on 'Vibrate'. I 'read' the important fake Message and recite a fake reason to leave; one that I've rehearsed in advance. We used to have Rental Properties, and some faked issue with one of those was always a rehearsed option. Both my Parents [and ILs] were in a Nursing Home, so a faked issue to do with them was another handy excuse.
3. If you can, attend for ~1/2 hour and then hit the Road using any excuse provided above. A Promotion is not worth compromised Sobriety, but perhaps there's a 'Win - Win' solution possible. The operative word is 'if'.
In an ideal World, these Folks need to get with the Program and expand the Drink and attendance options offered you into this Century.
I continue to decline Wine Tastings and Dinners at local Wineries. This caused some Marital 'blips' at first, and caused me to pull out of a 4-some where my Wife's good Gal Pal and Hub make their own decent Wine. She's a binge_ing Wino and Pot Smoker who offered to not open the Wine when I'm around. Yah, like that solves anything. It's all polite Social Fraud to then pretend to have 'clearance' to invite my Wife to some Bender w/o me. After one such dreadful Dinner ~1 month into Sobriety where this Host Gal was smashed, this part-Scottish Mule dug in his Hooves and refused any more such 'Socializing' until a much later time [if ever]. Just stick Bamboo Shoots under my Fingernails instead. That would have been more fun.
I guess we sometimes have to send Employers and our Social Network clear messages about who we now are.
A few ideas...
1. I just bought some 'Sparkling Grape Juice' to drink while Da Wife drinks Champagne for a Birthday Celebration. Fine by me. Actually, the smell of Champagne and Red Wine now smacks me upside the Head. Really strong, and no attraction after >4 months now on the Lifetime Wagon.
2. Keeping my Mobile in my Pocket [or in Belt Clip], I've been known to fake a lil twitch and pretend I just got an important Call while my Mobile was on 'Vibrate'. I 'read' the important fake Message and recite a fake reason to leave; one that I've rehearsed in advance. We used to have Rental Properties, and some faked issue with one of those was always a rehearsed option. Both my Parents [and ILs] were in a Nursing Home, so a faked issue to do with them was another handy excuse.
3. If you can, attend for ~1/2 hour and then hit the Road using any excuse provided above. A Promotion is not worth compromised Sobriety, but perhaps there's a 'Win - Win' solution possible. The operative word is 'if'.
In an ideal World, these Folks need to get with the Program and expand the Drink and attendance options offered you into this Century.
I continue to decline Wine Tastings and Dinners at local Wineries. This caused some Marital 'blips' at first, and caused me to pull out of a 4-some where my Wife's good Gal Pal and Hub make their own decent Wine. She's a binge_ing Wino and Pot Smoker who offered to not open the Wine when I'm around. Yah, like that solves anything. It's all polite Social Fraud to then pretend to have 'clearance' to invite my Wife to some Bender w/o me. After one such dreadful Dinner ~1 month into Sobriety where this Host Gal was smashed, this part-Scottish Mule dug in his Hooves and refused any more such 'Socializing' until a much later time [if ever]. Just stick Bamboo Shoots under my Fingernails instead. That would have been more fun.
I guess we sometimes have to send Employers and our Social Network clear messages about who we now are.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
Originally Posted by anykey 
I been out of the work force for some years- but what the heck happened??
I was never forced to drink- I done just about every type of work.
I was never forced to drink- I done just about every type of work.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by anykey
I been out of the work force for some years- but what the heck happened??
I was never forced to drink- I done just about every type of work.
I was never forced to drink- I done just about every type of work.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Tang, I learned from you, thank you! I learned over the years to just go as politically the least amount I can. it really doesn't bother me, I didn't drink much in public. but I don't want to be around drunk folks. And yes, even though they can't force you to drink, they can submarine you. So we do need coping strategies.
Business has been alcohol drenched in the past.
Business has been alcohol drenched in the past.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,994
Wow, I can't believe so many industries/employers would frown on anyone who does not drink, for what ever reason!
To me, I think we are all ahead of the game, sober is the new sexy, we are the cool ones!
To me, I think we are all ahead of the game, sober is the new sexy, we are the cool ones!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 15
If I still had my license I would use that I'm the "DD"... And I will use that excuse when I get my license back...
Hmmm until then, I'm gonna Google "Alcohol Allergy" and see how legit that is.
Pretty ridiculous how we have to think up so many excuses to try to avoid judgement from others....
People should just mind their own business.. BUT , since we care what people think, we look for reasons to try to maintain the illusion of "normalcy"
Hmmm until then, I'm gonna Google "Alcohol Allergy" and see how legit that is.
Pretty ridiculous how we have to think up so many excuses to try to avoid judgement from others....
People should just mind their own business.. BUT , since we care what people think, we look for reasons to try to maintain the illusion of "normalcy"
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
it really doesn't bother me, I didn't drink much in public. but I don't want to be around drunk folks.
I drank alone and never drank much in public so people really don t know me as a drinker and I did not have to worry about expectations or having to tell people that I am sober now since I would often abstain (what they did not know was that I could not wait to be back home to start slamming them LOL).
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Hmmmm, how would I decline a wine tasting party? The same way I would decline an extreme couponing party, a polite "no thanks". If something is not my cup o' tea for whatever reason, I don't do it.
Leshar is right...sober is def the new sexy. I laugh when people say "OMG you look so young!" It's because I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs. I eat right and I run 4+ times a week, do yoga, and bellydance. I'm in my late 40s and my boyfriend is in his late 20s. How's that for a return on my investment? lol
Activities where drinking IS the activity...are not actually activities. They are excuses to drink and usually a fair amount. Looking old, having a weird color, raspy voice, and dry hair, laughing at sh*t that's not funny, babbling, sucking in smoke and drinking poison is not my idea of a good time anymore. I don't care how "highbrow" the event is...it's still an event focused on drinking. So, basically, lipstick on a pig.
Don't get me wrong. I can gracefully hang at such an event. I don't know a stranger and drunks love me! But because I can, why would I? Life is short. I don't waste any time.
Leshar is right...sober is def the new sexy. I laugh when people say "OMG you look so young!" It's because I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs. I eat right and I run 4+ times a week, do yoga, and bellydance. I'm in my late 40s and my boyfriend is in his late 20s. How's that for a return on my investment? lol
Activities where drinking IS the activity...are not actually activities. They are excuses to drink and usually a fair amount. Looking old, having a weird color, raspy voice, and dry hair, laughing at sh*t that's not funny, babbling, sucking in smoke and drinking poison is not my idea of a good time anymore. I don't care how "highbrow" the event is...it's still an event focused on drinking. So, basically, lipstick on a pig.
Don't get me wrong. I can gracefully hang at such an event. I don't know a stranger and drunks love me! But because I can, why would I? Life is short. I don't waste any time.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Oh dear. A wine tasting party was the reason for one very awful slip of mine that kept me drinking for another two years. A friendly, non chalant, tastefully simple party combined with a bring a bottle for all of us to taste thing.
Harmless ? Hardly.
Don't do it.
Harmless ? Hardly.
Don't do it.
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