New to the sober life...
 

Hello everyone,

Well here I am, ready to make some changes and turn my life back around. Here's a little bit of my story. I am 31 years old, have two children, 15 and a five year old. About two years ago I decided to end my engagement and "find myself" again as I felt I wasn't being the best person I could be to my children and myself. However, I ended up doing the complete opposite. I found myself really enjoying the single life, going out a lot, partying, being careless, etc. About two weeks after I moved out I got my second DUI (9 years after my first one). I can't say that it changed my life or helped open my eyes. During that time I had also met a really great man. I let myself open up for the first time and for once I was truly happy. But that didn't slow down my drinking of partying ways. I continued to go out a lot as he was always working and didn't have much time to spend with me. My kids would go w/ their father and I would just wild out. It was such a fun freedom to have after being with someone for so long. Eventually that relationship went south. I know it was because of my drinking and partying. Even knowing that it didn't slow me down. It probably made it worse. I drank more, went out more, cared less. I began to hang out w/ only singles who like myself, enjoyed partying and going out. I slowly began to care less about my finances, my home, my appearance and many other things I still have a hard time admitting to. My children are the loves of my life, but sometimes it's hard to remember that when you have all the other stressors (which I brought on myself) to deal with. I've become someone completely different. Rather than being the strong, independent female that I've always prided myself in being, I've become a careless, fearful woman that runs from her problems. Here I am now, 35 lbs heavier, physical signs of alcoholism, and financial ruin. I am very thankful for my children for keeping some type of balance in my life. I've lost a lot of people along the way. My parents don't talk to me, good men have walked out of my life because of my drinking, my job performance has gone down severely, and my mind is one drink away from being gone. I'm just tired of this.

I hate to say this, but I think it was vanity that brought me here. Over the weekend I took one good look in the mirror and was overcome w/ depression. I can't believe how much I've let myself go. I took a picture of myself Saturday (after a night out drinking). I couldn't believe my eyes. I looked like a 50 year old woman! Over the past month I've noticed my face looks like it's put on a good 10 lbs, my pants no longer fit, and I constantly feel bloated. Does the bloated face ever go away? Did anyone else notice their nose got fatter when they drank? I know some peoples noses get red, but mine just looks wider. How long does it take for alcohol to completely leave your system? Any advice on how to detox my body.

I look forward to reading your advice, stories and being inspired to move forward. Perhaps maybe even make some new friends. I want to be a better person not only for my family and children, but for myself. :tyou

Welcome to SR. I'm female and (apart from the children which I didn't have) that was almost my story too. I didn't quit at 31 though despite my good intentions. I waited till I was nearly 40 and wasted nearly another decade of my life with things getting worse. I almost didn't realize it when it was happening.It was only when I took a step back that I saw how bad things had become.

Well done to you for realizing you have a problem and want to make changes. Coming to SR is a great start and has been a lifeline for me. I'm 17 months sober now and my life has changed immeasurably since quitting drinking. This can be you too. :)

FinallyReady, Welcome to SR!

So have you stopped drinking?

:welcome

Do you have a doctor you could see about detoxing safely? Medically supervised detox is a good idea as detox can be dangerous.

I'm glad you joined the family. There's a lot of support here and I hope it can help you get sober for good. :)

JN - I'm sure you are a beautiful woman. That's your alcoholism talking. You're ready to move on. Welcome beautiful lady!!!

Thank you SOOO much. Although your message was very short, it was very powerful and brought me to tears. I get sick each time I sit back and think about how much time I've wasted. I'm ready to make some serious changes in my life and thank you for your lovely words of encouragement. I look forward to finding encouragement from everyone here.

Thank you everyone for the wonderful words of encouragement. Please bear with me as I learn how to use this site. I don't quite know how to respond to people's post, but please be aware that I am reading everyone's replies and finding a lot of strength in them. THANK YOU MUCH.

For the record, I had my last drink on Saturday. It may seem silly as it's been such a short time, but I am excited about reaching the point where I can say, it has been a month since I've had a drink, and so forth. Thank you everyone!!!!!

Welcome FinallyReady :)

I'm glad you're up to the challenge of serious change because generally I think that's what we need.

I found myself a 40 year old man living the life of an 18 yo one.
It's not a good look, and I don't just mean that appearance wise.

For all the stresses and strains,there's a lot of good things about being a responsible adult :)

It feels good to be the authentic me again - I'm sure you'll find the same - and I know you'll find a lot of support here :)

D

JN no it is not silly you haven't had a drink since Saturday. It's wonderful. You have it start somewhere.

Welcome
 

A month of sobriety?
That is a great start!
You have much to live for.