Rotten mind
 

I've been doing well since Friday. I went to an AA meeting today. There is this voice in my head telling me it has been a few days, why not drink tonight? I hate this voice in my head. Will someone please tell me how to kick it out?!

Got to keep fighting it. Or as someone else stated in another thread, you have to starve the AV over months.

Just think before you drink, think how you will feel in the morning.

I don't think you can kick it out. But you can learn to recognize it and its tricks. Read up on AVRT in our secular forum.

You can't kick it out, but don't have to obey it. Anything that leads to drinking is your addiction. Anything that enforces sobriety is your rational mind.

Good luck.

I am trying to think about alcohol with the "recoiling as if a hot flame" (sure I misquoted this but I like the imagery) and knowing I personally have to stay away. So this is just part of the deal? I hope the thoughts eventually die.

Starve it.

That voice stole from me for 25 years. My money, my time, my respect. It tried to take my family, my job and my freedom, but I got lucky and figured it out just in time.

Starve that turd.

I had to learn that I wasn't ...and excuse
the next few words please.....dumb, stupid,
rotten, crazy, etc..... When I got into recovery,
I had to learn about my illness. My disease.
My sickness. Or whatever word you choose.

My addiction to alcohol. Alcoholism.

This illness kept me sick a long time and
had no idea how to get well or who to go
to to get well. Family intervention took
place for me yrs ago, with my family seeking
help and answers for my sickness. It was
them helping me when I could no longer
help myself.

Where do we go when we are very sick?

Hospitals, our doctors? Yes.

Rehab was my first stop to get my "recovery
medicine" knowledge, recovery tools, to
help me begin to get well and healthy each
day while not drinking. From there I attended
"school for Alcoholism" AA meetings on a
daily bases.

School helped me to fill my mind, body
and soul with proper ways to stay sober,
to fill my mind with healthy ideas, thoughts,
and to know that I am one of many who
are similar to me with an addiction problem.

We are not dumb, lame, or other choice words
that are offensive. We have an illness that
can be treated with a simple solution of applying
a recovery program studied and learned by
many to live a healthy, happy, honest, responsible
life.

I say that is what you call smart living for
many smart members in recovery.

I can honestly say that a good brain
washing cleared away a whole bunch
of stinkin thinkin I had for many yrs. :)

Thoughts are thoughts. It's what we do in response that counts snakes :)

D

I truly believe I do not have an AV. But I do have a funny stab in the heart when I get an urge. In the beginning I got the stab a lot, but being a smoker who has tried to quit, I realized the "stab" was mostly because of the habit of drinking, not the actual drink. Now when I get the "stab", I realize it is a true urge. I do something, anything, to set my brain on another subject. I understand my urges are very short, so it doesn't take a great effort. In the beginning, it was murder. I'm sorry to tell you that. Keep fighting, just keep fighting.

I think anyone who struggles to quit an addiction has an addictive voice, the source of those thoughts that suggest drinking again against our better judgement, or try to convince us that we can't kick. That is the definition of an AV.

I acknowledge AV as fully as I can, I try to recognize the heck out of it. I become aware of it and then aware of my feeling around this awareness. Sadness? Excitement? Increased breathing rate? I do an emotional and physical survey to make a mindful acknowledgment as complete as I can.

Next, I accept my AV. I understand the reasons for feeling as I do, given my past experiences with and around alcohol, and this helps me to accept the existence of these thoughts. I accept what is.

Finally, I separate from my AV. I made this plan, this vow, this solemn promise, to never drink again and never change my mind. This was done by me, by the part of me that reasons, hopes, experiences and dreams. This then means that these thoughts of drinking again, or doubt in my ability to remain abstinent, must come from a different part of me, part that I no longer give control of my life to. They come from a part of me that can do nothing except seek pleasure instinctively, that now will lead me back to hell.

Over all of this, I put a morality caveat. To cognitively consider drinking again is now immoral for me. I consider this in the light of who I used to be, what I used to do, and what has happened to others because of me. And what could happen, because of me, to others if I drank again.

Yes, I know that voice well.
After several attempts to
quit over the years, I always
gave into that voice. That
voice is there, as it will be
for the rest of my life.
I am determined not to
listen to it. I know if I were
to obey it, I have no doubt
that I would be dead within
a year. Best wishes on your
recovery.