Cahabr

Hello all,

I'm committing myself to no alcohol, drugs, or tobacco starting today. I'm 37 years old and I've had addiction problems my entire life.

I really need a place with community support and somewhere I can be accountable, and I hope this is the place. I can't see myself going back to AA, which I was a part of for a year about 15 years ago.

I've gotten really good at quitting on Monday's and then by Friday I feel so good that I decide I deserve a few drinks, which most of the time leads to 6. In my 20's I would drink every day heavily and this eventually led to serious mental problems in my 30's. I suffered panic attacks, depression, and shaking hands, and was on multiple medications. I've cut back a lot since then and have regained my health quite a bit. But recently have been sliding back again. I started tobacco again after not touching it for 3+ years, and have started drinking mid-week again. I just seem to keep sliding slowly backwards into bad decisions.

I've got to quit, completely, I think. There is always some justification for allowing a slip. I need help getting past that mental hurdle.

I'm also starting a juice diet to cleanse the toxins from my system. I've been doing a partial cleanse for a week only having 1 solid meal a day (+alcohol which defeats the purpose). I think I want to go full juice cleanse for at least a week, maybe a full 30 we'll see. Hopefully that doesn't lead me back to drinking again when that is over too. I'd be curious to hear if anyone else has done such a cleanse.

So here I am.. day 1.. hopefully not just another 5 day recovery.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Cahabr

The two things I needed to get better were support and change. You'll find a lot of support here...don't be afraid to use that support to help you make any changes you think need to your life to make recovery your priority

D

Treerat66

Hi Cahabr, welcome to SR
SR is a great community which will give you loads of support.

Treerat66

Double post

brazilian

Hi Cahabr, congratulations on your decision.

Yes, I did a 7 day vegetable juice detox.

It's was very nice, but really hard too.

Cahabr

Day 2. I made it through Monday which I wasn't worried about, they're always easy. I am not doing a full juice detox, so hard when you have a family fixed meal ready every evening, but will do it 2/3 meals on most days just to give my body a break and some extra nutrients.

Tomorrow night is our wednesday night group run which is where I usually go for a 4 mile run with a group and meet at the bar afterwards. It used to be my self control night where I limited myself to 2 beers but lately I've been drinking more when I get home from the bar. I think I'm just going to have to not do the run tomorrow.

I'm really worried about Friday. I have a Friday/Saturday conference that is at a downtown party district. I've invited my wife and gotten a babysitter for the kids. I think she expects we will hit the town. I don't know how I'm going to avoid alcohol, I need to think of a strategy. If I don't take her out, she will be mad. My mind is telling me a single night of drinking isn't so bad, but I also know it just leads to worse things and makes it even harder not to drink the following day. It would also be nice to not be completely hungover on day 2 of a conference which is how I always have been at every other one I've been to.

Today I dumped 4 beers down the drain and threw away 2 can's of tobacco. I'm not patting myself on the back though because this isn't the first time. I do this every few months and it becomes a big waste of money when I end up buying more in a few days.

LBrain

Cahabr, congratulations on your decision.

A word of caution... If you find yourself getting irritable and feel yourself starting to cave - use the tobacco to get you through it, not the drink.

Also: Make salad the main dish.

least

Welcome to SR. There's tons of support here. Take advantage of it to help you quit drinking for good.

Cahabr

I like this idea, thanks.

Deebee82

Just curious. How does a juice cleanse help to detox and exactly what is it? Like any kind of juice or do you have to have a juicer and make your own? I've seen a lot of posts about it but no direct info or maybe I'm just thinking about it too hard.

Cahabr

I bought a juicer and am juicing mainly fresh vegetables and some fruits. On a juice cleanse you're suppose to have just juice and no solids at all. It gives your digestive system a break similar to a fast but at the same time super charges the amount of nutrients and vitamins in your diet. Just as an example today I made a juice with 2 green peppers, 1 red pepper, 3 cups of spinach, a jalepeno, and 1/2 a lemon. That made enough juice to last until the evening. So it does use quite a bit of produce. Typical cleanses last 1, 3, 5 or 7 days. Some people do it longer (14-60 days). I think it will help with detox but haven't read anything to support this. I just happen to be doing both at the same time (juice cleanse and quitting alcohol). Will let you know how it goes!

Badger4

I agree with you on this, we need to change habits or the pattern will just repeat.

I guess I am too new at this to make suggestions for your Thursday and Friday dilemma.

Dee74

Have you not told your wife you're quitting Cahabr?

D

Dee74

To each their own, and this shouldn't be seen as any kind of expert testimony, but
personally I'm against fasts so soon in recovery.

Our bodies have been through a lot - why add to the trauma?

secondly, any cravings I had in early recovery - including hunger - made me want to drink...

and thirdly - our livers are amazing. It's the detox organ.
I was advised to stand back and let it do its work.

I understand the need to feel good and not feel bad - but sometimes we feel bad for solid medical reasons....

D

Cahabr

I'm always afraid to tell people I'm quitting anything.

Cahabr

I agree, which is why I'm not going gung ho on the juice cleanse. Just using it mainly as a high nutrient supplement to my diet.

Chicagoan

Taking on alcohol and tobacco at the
same time can be hell, I can only
battle one opponent at a time.

I had an MD expert on recovery tell
me that lots and lots of water is a
sure cleanse. I buy flavored water
and Gatorade. One problem I am
having is eating like pig. And I can't
get enough Reese's peanut butter cups.

Hevyn

Glad you are here Cahabr. You're in good company - we're rooting for you.

Cahabr

Thanks all! Day 3 today. My throat feels raw and dry I think from all the chewing tobacco I had over the weekend. I'm not really too worried about quitting tobacco. I never crave it until I've had 3-4 beers. I slept really good last night and feel like I could have slept more. The first few days after a binge weekend are always the worst because I don't sleep well at all, which was the case again this time (4-5 hours interrupted sleep on Sun/Mon/Tues).

Tonight is our usual beer run and bar. I've already been asked and have told people I won't be there tonight. I'm going to pick up my bike from the shop and mow the yard. Keep myself busy so I don't have the time to drink.

I totally screwed the juice cleanse yesterday. My daughters soccer team had a BBQ for their last practice and I ate way too much junk (2 burgers, lots of chips, cupcakes). Going to have to do better than that!

I did dream last night that I had a beer and I have to keep reminding myself it wasn't real!

Have a great day, all.

Cahabr

Day 4 or 5 today. How do you all count the first day? I actually quit on Sunday but I was up late on Saturday drinking (into Sunday AM hours) so I've been counting Monday as day 1.

I had another dream (nightmare?) last night about drinking. This time I was at a public function and was carrying around small bottles of beer in my pocket. I've actually done this before, taken beer to public functions such as outdoor concerts or picnics where alcohol was prohibited. I always had to have my booze with me. Annoying to have these dreams because I have a feeling of guilt/failure when I wake up.

Today I'm going to ride my bike to work which will make my work day longer. I'll have to tell my wife tomorrow that I've quit drinking and this weekend will be a huge test to see how committed to this I actually am. I feel like I'm 100% committed right now but I always turn into a different person at social events. This site has been great to help remind me that I don't need alcohol. When I've had the urge I've just come here and read a few threads and then I feel the urge go away.