owington

Doing well not drinking and for the first few days everything seemed pretty positive. The physical effects weren't nice but bearable, however I've come to the awful realisation that most if not all of my mates are drinking mates. Take that away and there is nothing that keeps up together. Friday night, Saturday, Sunday.... that's all we do (did). I have no family close by and am concerned I'm gonna end up with nobody. I'm 36 with no kids, no girlfriend anymore and just my job that gives me a reason to leave the house. I know I should be happy with my progress but things just seem a bit empty. I guess I've lived this kind of life so long that i don't know any different. Not sure if I'm after advice or just venting. Just feel alone. Dont know what to do with myself, it's true what they say, "It's grim up North"

ScottFromWI

It's a common feeling owington. The good news is that the "everyone drinks" concept is purely a myth. Most people don't drink the weekend away. Finding a local support group is one way to meet other people that are sober of course, but there are literally a myriad of things you can do besides go hang out at a bar. And the beauty is that now you can do these things because you aren't too drunk to drive or participate in them.

PurpleKnight

For me I had to make some changes to where I hung out and who I hung out with, it can be quite a change, but Sobriety itself brought many changes to my lifestyle!!

Bars aren't the centre of the universe as I came to realise, there are plenty of people doing other things Sober with their evenings and weekends.

We just need to adjust things, but it can be done!!

Needinghelp82

I'm not sure where in the north east you are but I'm from a place up there with a huge drinking culture. Most of my friends drink to excess every weekend.

It's tough but you will survive - friends are not worth giving up sobriety for.

owington

I think the whole North East has a big drinking culture if not the UK as a whole. I'm on Teesside, cheers for the reply. When I think about it theres plenty of other things to do. Loads of countryside and beaches to walk and explore with my dog. Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself which I shouldn't. I'm doing alright, that's the main thing. I'm sure things will get better and my outlook will improve.

trachemys

Congratulations. And you found the sane asylum.

If I were where you are, mentally and geographically, I would start getting out of town on the weekends. You have available to you several activities that you can do alone or with others that will promote sobriety and sober friendships. Your district looks like a playground to me. Fresh and saltwater fishing, hiking, camping, backpacking. Northumberland National Park looks like a great place.

Get out there and start some new weekend habits.

bookmaven

Yep, I too had to "trash my stash" not just getting rid of any alcohol I had in the house but also getting rid of "friends".

Made new friends in AA, might not be for you, but it does fulfill the need for socialization, even if it's just temporary till you make new friends.

owington

Yeah, thanks trachemys. I'm lucky I guess in the way my job takes me all over the NE on a daily basis so it's easy to keep distracted during the day and I get to work in some great places. It's the after work time I'm struggling with but I imagine that's the same for all of us. Breaking the get home, drink habit. You're right that Northumberland and Yorkshire is great for those activities. I'm only a week into sobriety so I'm sure my energy levels and confidence will improve so I can enjoy what's on my doorstep and have ignored for so long.

Nonsensical

Find reasons to leave the house.

Join a gym
Join a gardening club
Take a cooking class
Volunteer at a food bank
Learn celestial navigation

The whole world is outside your door, and there's nothing stopping you from experiencing it.

Congrats on your sober time.

trachemys

Well, the minute you get home, log onto here. There's someone here 24/7/365 to talk to.