Confused, help please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 29
So today begins a new day. I'm nervous but excited at the same time. He spoke to me about wanting to be sober and that he wants me to control all aspects of his finances and spend as much time with him doing activities to keep from doing it.
To be honest, part of me feels sincerity, part of me feels the same story again. As of right now I think I'll continue the detox process.
If he means sobriety he will accomplish it.
To be honest, part of me feels sincerity, part of me feels the same story again. As of right now I think I'll continue the detox process.
If he means sobriety he will accomplish it.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Your handle, location and tag line bring up a couple of things very current in my mind ScrewedUp.
First, I'm seriously thinking about getting a tattoo on my shoulder. I've never had one, never wanted one but I've been thinking about an AA triangle with the words "Experience", "Strength" and "Hope" around the edges, and a phoenix in the middle. Picture it? I think it's something I'd like to carry with me the rest of my life. What do you all think?
Second, my first sponsor, several years ago, lives in DE. We met on the internet and he sponsored me over the phone. He's a big book thumper (strict 12 stepper). I found a local sponsor after a few weeks both because I felt I needed face-to-face and, I believe, I just hadn't been beaten up enough yet to be able to strictly follow the program. Now, after several years of torturing myself and others, and after finally finding God (as I now understand Him), I believe He is telling me I'm ready.
I've found that true thumpers are hard to find. I recently bumped into one here at SR. He lives in NH. He took me through the first three steps last night over the phone. We have a "date" for the next part, of 5 he does, next week.
While I recently discovered I've been kind of doing all 12 steps, off and on and half-assed for the last few years, I think it's probably a good time, and I think I'm ready, to "get thumped" again. Oh yeah, when I told him I'm getting baptized this Sunday, he said it was perfect timing given we just did the first three steps.
It all seems like a remarkable "coincidence" to me. Or is it a "miracle" of healing?
First, I'm seriously thinking about getting a tattoo on my shoulder. I've never had one, never wanted one but I've been thinking about an AA triangle with the words "Experience", "Strength" and "Hope" around the edges, and a phoenix in the middle. Picture it? I think it's something I'd like to carry with me the rest of my life. What do you all think?
Second, my first sponsor, several years ago, lives in DE. We met on the internet and he sponsored me over the phone. He's a big book thumper (strict 12 stepper). I found a local sponsor after a few weeks both because I felt I needed face-to-face and, I believe, I just hadn't been beaten up enough yet to be able to strictly follow the program. Now, after several years of torturing myself and others, and after finally finding God (as I now understand Him), I believe He is telling me I'm ready.
I've found that true thumpers are hard to find. I recently bumped into one here at SR. He lives in NH. He took me through the first three steps last night over the phone. We have a "date" for the next part, of 5 he does, next week.
While I recently discovered I've been kind of doing all 12 steps, off and on and half-assed for the last few years, I think it's probably a good time, and I think I'm ready, to "get thumped" again. Oh yeah, when I told him I'm getting baptized this Sunday, he said it was perfect timing given we just did the first three steps.
It all seems like a remarkable "coincidence" to me. Or is it a "miracle" of healing?
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
P.S. I was just re-reading something I posted on my wall, a while back, that I got from the BB, or 12&12, or something. I've been reading it, and others, every day for the last few months. This one reads: "What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its elements are simple. Circumstances made me willing to believe. I humbly offered myself to my Maker. Then I knew."
This Sunday I will publicly, formally, and I pray permanently "humbly offer myself to my Maker" as I'm baptized.
This Sunday I will publicly, formally, and I pray permanently "humbly offer myself to my Maker" as I'm baptized.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Good for you dsober on the Baptism, I believe there is a plan for all of us. Some of us, me included, are more hard headed and take the wrong path but we get where we need to be.
As for the tat I never had one or wanted one,, but I am considering one but it is a personal decision. Your idea sounds cool just go to somewhere reputable.
As for the tat I never had one or wanted one,, but I am considering one but it is a personal decision. Your idea sounds cool just go to somewhere reputable.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 29
I'm thankful to the help you all are giving me. He really wants sobriety. I feel it. This week I will take his debit card and car to drive back and forth from school. He will now go to work and home only with his brother. I'm pretty excited about this chance at change.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by steph0409 
This week I will take his debit card and car to drive back and forth from school. He will now go to work and home only with his brother.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 29
Hey guys!
My progress: I am no longer stressing! He gave me the debit card, and the car is on my driveway. To be honest, my thoughts are now on myself. Prayer will get me through all of this. I will pray for strength for all of us tonight. I know we can get through this together!!
Xo
My progress: I am no longer stressing! He gave me the debit card, and the car is on my driveway. To be honest, my thoughts are now on myself. Prayer will get me through all of this. I will pray for strength for all of us tonight. I know we can get through this together!!
Xo
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: S.E. Wisconsin
Posts: 341
Give him the boot!
I know for me, that is easy to say,
you obviously have feelings for him.
As long he is addicted, you will
have no happy future with him.
Remember: You can lead a horse to
water but, you can't make him drink.
I know for me, that is easy to say,
you obviously have feelings for him.
As long he is addicted, you will
have no happy future with him.
Remember: You can lead a horse to
water but, you can't make him drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 29
I am and will. You were all right. He admitted himself no one can help him. He can only help himself. I returned everything to him, and to be honest- I'd rather have it that way. I don't want to feel as if my efforts are in vain. He also told me that he will never get to my level. According to him, he means this in the sense of loving me as I love him.
It's ok, you grow and with time move on I guess.
Thankyou for your help all of you.
Now to try to avoid depression.
It's ok, you grow and with time move on I guess.
Thankyou for your help all of you.
Now to try to avoid depression.
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