A little apprehensive about the evening
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
A little apprehensive about the evening
Tonight will be the first time in 10 weeks of sobriety that I'm consciously heading into the first situation that used to be assured to be a hang over inducing night. It's a dinner invite to another couple's home. They are good friends and overall wonderful people who have been very good to us. Evenings in the past with them carry good memories of cocktails to start and then a great dinner with hours of conversation and lots of wine.
I'm not worried about drinking because my commitment to sobriety feels grounded and solid as I think of the evening ahead. The part I'm a little apprehensive about is just experiencing the new dynamic with me being sober. Given our history and how they know I love booze it is completely expected and understandable that there may be friendly inquiry as to what's going on. Given the nature of our relationship it's best for me to be diplomatically honest instead of using a random excuse.
Now that I think about it, I'm not worried about their reaction. I think if I'm really honest maybe I've left a little bit of a door open that maybe I can drink again in the future, and this will be one of the first times that I will be making a public statement of accountability to someone outside of my family (non-drinkers) and co-workers (not a big deal) - sort of a "coming out" as a non-drinker in my social circle. Yikes - but I think I will probably feel empowered after it is done for the first time.
Thanks for listening.
I'm not worried about drinking because my commitment to sobriety feels grounded and solid as I think of the evening ahead. The part I'm a little apprehensive about is just experiencing the new dynamic with me being sober. Given our history and how they know I love booze it is completely expected and understandable that there may be friendly inquiry as to what's going on. Given the nature of our relationship it's best for me to be diplomatically honest instead of using a random excuse.
Now that I think about it, I'm not worried about their reaction. I think if I'm really honest maybe I've left a little bit of a door open that maybe I can drink again in the future, and this will be one of the first times that I will be making a public statement of accountability to someone outside of my family (non-drinkers) and co-workers (not a big deal) - sort of a "coming out" as a non-drinker in my social circle. Yikes - but I think I will probably feel empowered after it is done for the first time.
Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Lance40 
Tonight will be the first time in 10 weeks of sobriety that I'm consciously heading into the first situation that used to be assured to be a hang over inducing night. It's a dinner invite to another couple's home. They are good friends and overall wonderful people who have been very good to us. Evenings in the past with them carry good memories of cocktails to start and then a great dinner with hours of conversation and lots of wine.
I'm not worried about drinking because my commitment to sobriety feels grounded and solid as I think of the evening ahead. The part I'm a little apprehensive about is just experiencing the new dynamic with me being sober. Given our history and how they know I love booze it is completely expected and understandable that there may be friendly inquiry as to what's going on. Given the nature of our relationship it's best for me to be diplomatically honest instead of using a random excuse.
Now that I think about it, I'm not worried about their reaction. I think if I'm really honest maybe I've left a little bit of a door open that maybe I can drink again in the future, and this will be one of the first times that I will be making a public statement of accountability to someone outside of my family (non-drinkers) and co-workers (not a big deal) - sort of a "coming out" as a non-drinker in my social circle. Yikes - but I think I will probably feel empowered after it is done for the first time.
Thanks for listening.
I'm not worried about drinking because my commitment to sobriety feels grounded and solid as I think of the evening ahead. The part I'm a little apprehensive about is just experiencing the new dynamic with me being sober. Given our history and how they know I love booze it is completely expected and understandable that there may be friendly inquiry as to what's going on. Given the nature of our relationship it's best for me to be diplomatically honest instead of using a random excuse.
Now that I think about it, I'm not worried about their reaction. I think if I'm really honest maybe I've left a little bit of a door open that maybe I can drink again in the future, and this will be one of the first times that I will be making a public statement of accountability to someone outside of my family (non-drinkers) and co-workers (not a big deal) - sort of a "coming out" as a non-drinker in my social circle. Yikes - but I think I will probably feel empowered after it is done for the first time.
Thanks for listening.
I hope you have a nice evening.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 16
I had a similar situation when I was at 6 months of sobriety. The couple are our best friends and we have only been able to see them once a year for the past 15 years.
I was also committed to my sobriety, so I simply told them I am an alcoholic and I no longer drink. It was that easy! They both said they were proud of me and that was it.
We all enjoyed a great time together and the only difference was that I remember EVERYTHING and they don't!
Have a wonderful time with your friends.
I was also committed to my sobriety, so I simply told them I am an alcoholic and I no longer drink. It was that easy! They both said they were proud of me and that was it.
We all enjoyed a great time together and the only difference was that I remember EVERYTHING and they don't!
Have a wonderful time with your friends.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Yes, you will feel empowered and encouraged Lance - as you get over this hurdle.
This is one of the things that kept me from getting sober many years ago. I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol, so I just continued trying to control it - with disastrous results. I foolishly thought nothing would ever be fun again, that I'd be boring, or feel awkward. At first I was a bit resentful - but I got over it. Enjoying life in a different way is a bit challenging early on. I predict it will go very well and that you'll feel triumphant at the end of the evening.
This is one of the things that kept me from getting sober many years ago. I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol, so I just continued trying to control it - with disastrous results. I foolishly thought nothing would ever be fun again, that I'd be boring, or feel awkward. At first I was a bit resentful - but I got over it. Enjoying life in a different way is a bit challenging early on. I predict it will go very well and that you'll feel triumphant at the end of the evening.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I think you'll do just fine. And this way if they need someone to drive someplace in an emergency, you're the guy. Bask in the warm glow of utility!
Wow my post count .. should have changed my avatar to a goat's head
Wow my post count .. should have changed my avatar to a goat's head
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
"maybe I've left a little bit of a door open
that maybe I can drink again in the future"
For me, there can be no reservations that
maybe I can drink successfully again in the future.
Those kinds of thoughts will always be dangerous
for me and have no place in my recovery program.
I protect my healthy investment in recovery
hopefully to carry me for many more one days
at a time sober for yrs to come.
You can too.
that maybe I can drink again in the future"
For me, there can be no reservations that
maybe I can drink successfully again in the future.
Those kinds of thoughts will always be dangerous
for me and have no place in my recovery program.
I protect my healthy investment in recovery
hopefully to carry me for many more one days
at a time sober for yrs to come.
You can too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
Thanks everyone for all the kind words of support and encouragement.
The evening went really well. Within the first five minutes of arriving when asked what we wanted to drink I just launched forward with, "Actually I gave up alcohol for Lent and haven't picked it back up, so do you have fruit juice or pop?" I got a surprised look (the good kind) and a "Good for you!" and we went on to have a great evening.
The evening went really well. Within the first five minutes of arriving when asked what we wanted to drink I just launched forward with, "Actually I gave up alcohol for Lent and haven't picked it back up, so do you have fruit juice or pop?" I got a surprised look (the good kind) and a "Good for you!" and we went on to have a great evening.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
I'm glad it all went well Lance. I think most of us build up those first sober outings in some really big - and they really not.
Who knew being social was not really about drinking at all?
D
Who knew being social was not really about drinking at all?
D
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