snakes

I am still very faithfully going to AA and picking up service positions. I even found a sponsor. Yet, I am still drinking. My sponsor told me to keep going to meetings and calling her even if I do end up drinking because if I keep coming back it will work when I am ready to work it. I am afraid I am a hopeless case. I am afraid of life without alcohol yet I really want that life.

Coldfusion

Hi Snakes,

There is a quote in the AA Big Book about living in the solution instead of living in the problem. SoberRecovery can be part of the solution--why not join a monthly thread, sign in to the 24-Hour Club, or just post offering someone encouragement?

Weasel1966

Snakes.... True things will work but passively stopping to drink will not. Waiting for AA meeting to take effect will never happen. It's not a lotion or a pill that will cure.

You already have the power to stop. It's in your own will to do it.

Anna

Yes, you need to do the work. You need to have the motivation.

The bottom line is that it's up to you to make recovery happen, however you choose to approach it.

aasharon90

While drinking I don't think I really
truly understood what it meant to
want to be sober and not drink a
day at a time. As long as I had poison
in my system affecting my thoughts
and actions, I didn't really have that
willingness to use some sort of recovery
program to live my life by.

Because I was intervened on and sent
into recovery, it was then that I needed
to admit I had a severe problem with
drinking that was affecting my mind and
body and others around me.

28 days in a control safe place for me
away from the temptation of alcohol,
I was given some good time to learn
about my addiction and pick up many
good tools and knowledge to use in my
everyday life.

When I returned home to my little
family, all the alcohol was removed
while I was away by those who cared
enough to help me. From there it was
up to me to want and need recovery
each day moving forward. And I did.

28 days for me was a good start, but
it was still early early recovery for me.
Still wet behind the ears so to speak.
Still a newborn in recovery.

I needed other members in recovery
that had learned themselves how to
remain sober to guide me, carry me,
allow me to follow them for many days
sober till I was strong enough to carry
on myself.

Each step I took reinforced my foundation
in recovery to live upon for many one days
at a time. If those blocks weren't strong
enough or were weak, then it would crumble
under my feet, making it unstable, wobbly
and id slip or fall. However, I slowly learned,
listened, applied what was taught to me each
day to allow my foundation to stand strong
for 23 yrs.

Today, my recovery house is still being
remodeled, adding new stronger additions
to it incase a strong storm in life brews up
and wants to blow it down. Of course there
will always be those storms in life, but as
long as I remain vigilant in my program
then i'll be ready for whatever life blows my
way.

Listen.....Learn....Absorb....Apply

snakes

I am worried about letting SR down so that's why I haven't joined the threads. I know I have to bite the bullet and just stop with the drinking. Just stop and read the big book when I want to drink. What is wrong with me?

least

Our beloved CarolD used to say that you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink. How badly do you want to be sober?

heath480

Snakes,sorry you are struggling.

There is no point in taking on service positions in AA if you are still drinking,you wouldn't be able to do that in the meetings I attend.Sober time is a requirement for any service position.

Perhaps time to concentrate on your sobriety.You can do it.

Verte

Fear is both a gift and a curse if you are feeling immobilized - either way a strong motivator or inhibitor. Have you had the time to talk with anyone about why you might be feeling stuck?

Carlotta

Well the only person you let down is yourself: don't quit till the miracle happens and never give up on yourself.
That's great that you keep coming back and help with service but have you worked the steps with your sponsor? The steps are the program and while there are many ways to recover and some stay sober by fellowshipping and attending meetings only, for many it is not sufficient.
Why don't you join us at the 24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours? Before you know it, those days add up and it is a fun supportive way to hold ourselves accountable http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4640552

snakes

I am amazed a person can go 23 years without a drink. Dumbfounded really. That seems like such a rare thing to me. I can't imagine it.

I will not drink tonight and I will join the 24 hour club. In my AA meetings they don't require sobriety for service. Just a desire. I figured all AA meetings had the same rules.

Carlotta

Mine has no sober time requirement either. Our Sunday secretary relapsed midweek and wanted to step down. He was told that it was his commitment and his responsibility to make sure the meeting happened since he had volunteered for it. That was twenty something years ago and he has not had a drink or a drug since.

soberclover

For THIS alcoholic, it is malarkey for me to think that relapse is part of the recovery process. THIS alcoholic would see that as an open door for "one more relapse". Trust me. Stop drinking. It only gets worse.

aasharon90

I always admired those with many one days at
a time without a drink. Especially in early sobriety.
I wanted what they had and soon found that
it didn't happen over night. For me, I wanted
emmediate sobriety without the work.

The more meetings I went to and listened
and learned how each stayed sober themselves,
I began to catch on. They learned the basics,
and followed thru day after day.

I didn't share much for a long time, but I
listened intentively. Just like going to school
and sitting in class day after day, year after
yr..

Eventually I began to understand the importance
of staying sober and my responsibility to not
only to myself but for the many members who
were to follow in my own footsteps and walk
side by side with.

What is so awesome about recovery is, I
never have to go thru it alone or by myself.
There is always someone who has gone thru
similar or just about the same thing I have.

I also learned that its okay to ask for what
you need. Ask what you don't understand.
Ask how they did something. In fact, I taught
my own kids to not be afraid to ask for help
while they were in school. If they didn't understand
something in math or some subject, I suggested
that they go ask them. Use them so to speak
in a way to get the answers they need to pass
that subject.

I told them that theyd be surprised at how
much people would be willing to help them
if they asked for help. Sure enough they did
and not only did they get what they needed,
but it also made them stronger for doing so
and built up their confidence.

I also have to add.....23 is just a number. I
have to remind myself that I am just one drink
away from a drunk, insanity or death. That
alcohol is poison. It's cunning, baffling and
powerful and can sneak up on me as well
as anyone who doesn't remain vigilant in
their own program of recovery.

That is why I am here using SR and an added
tool to my own program sharing my own ESH-
experiences, strengths and hopes with others
that are struggling with addiction to keep all
that Ive learned over the years fresh in my
mind and heart.

Don't think just because we stopped drinking
that we are not rewarded for our efforts. We
are rewarded with promises and gifts that
we can enjoy thru out our recovery journey
in life. The promises are in the Big Book to
read and enjoy in ur own sobriety too.

Taking5

No, this is the group conscience coming into play. This is expressed in tradition 4:

Dee74

Hi Snakes

Never ever worry about letting anyone down - we've all been there, remember?

I think the suggestion to join a few more threads is a good one - have as many options of help as you can for the next time you want to drink - and use them

D

Erratic

Many people go to AA and is not sober, you work at ur time with the help from the group.When u feel your ready u then get a sponser. There should not be any push from anyone. due to its your welcome if you are wanting to become sober. sry not exact words. just wondering why ur feel that ur being forced? sry prob misreading your post. What I know is joining AA is you are working or looking for sobriety. And u will work with them and yourself when ready to become sober?

sry if that happened to me I would be same as u. However I have yrs ago positive time which It took me 2 or so months to become sober and was welcomed. Not sure what is going on with where u go?

xx

biminiblue

I think it's important to understand that in AA, you are still working your own recovery.

I've been going for a little over two months, 70ish meetings, and I know there are many things I don't agree with. Many people I don't agree with, and many opinions I don't agree with.

I've decided to work my program for myself, not for AA or anyone in AA. As far as step work or sponsor, again that should be when you feel you are ready for that. It isn't a magic koolaid (AA) there is no One Size Fits All. Some people are really zealous about it and some are super laid back. Find your people.

No matter what happens in life or in AA, just don't pick up a drink. No one can make you drink or not drink. It is your hand going up to your mouth.

courage2

Snakes, I've heard of people with longterm sobriety who started out in AA like you. So just because you haven't made the step yet, doesn't mean you won't.

That said, it's a step YOU have to make. Not to drink today. Going to AA, signing up with the 24 hour club, and joining a class on SR will give you a team to root for you each and every day, even if you slip. But the act of not taking a drink is yours -- possibly, for those that believe, inspired by a higher power.

I hope you take the step soon! It's really much better on the sober side of the looking glass.

LBrain

The only person you are letting down is yourself.
Reading the big book won't do a thing ffor you. Until you commit to stop drinking no book in the world is gonna help.