gettingbetter64

I'm starting day two today,I was so disgusted with myself for buying a six pack yesterday I made myself pour it on this morning. There is currently no alcohol in the house. I had 9 days sober then drank from Saturday night till Tuesday night. No one I'm friends with and none of my family expect one or two know I badly I struggle with alcohol. I keep on saying I want to be sober and I really do mean that, it's just I always convince myself I can handle it. When I drink I turn into a hateful person,I'm never proud of my drinking behavior. Just venting I don't really have a support system besides this forum. I feel like I have no self control and that scares me.

Bilr44

Pouring out the beer and not having anything in the house was a good start. I'm not. Going to sugarcoat it, getting sober is hard. We all struggled in the beginning but the results are great. I was like you with the self control thing. I just had to want sobriety more than I wanted to drink. Losing your health, your family, your job, etc., is not worth drinking.

tim68

Sunday I poured out half of a half gallon of rum and one last beer that was in the fridge. Congrats to you because that's not easy! I'm on day 4 and you have been to day 9! You can do this. Find all those reasons within you to stay sober. They are in you I promise!

Ghostlight1

I didn't have any self control. That's why I quit. I've poured out dozens of six packs, it didn't keep me sober though.
But, it did make me realize my powerlessness. That was my wakeup call.
It took along time and a real commitment, but eventually I was able to quit.

Good job on pouring it out and best to you.

Nonsensical

The act of pouring out beer indicates there is some self-control.

For me, the art of staying sober involves strengthening that aspect of my mind/spirit/character that knows the best use of beer is to kill slugs in my garden. That aspect believes there is a better life for me without alcohol. I reward and strengthen it by giving it the better life it dreams of.

Part of you did something very cool today, while another part of you looked on in horror. Reward the part that did the right thing. Encouraging it is habit forming.

cometk

I'm only on day 4, so I'm no expert. However, I have tried to quit before, but didn't really share my desire or the extent of my problem with anyone because I was embarrassed. And I started drinking again.

This time I have been reaching out to family and friends and explaining exactly how bad my addiction has been. The support has been overwhelming, so this time I don't feel like I'm doing it alone and I have other people that are vested in me succeeding at adopting sobriety.

Mileage may vary and I haven't succeeded yet, but sharing something that is helping me.

You are not alone in your struggles.

Chris

LBrain

way to go gb64. It got me to thinking. If I had the dollar value of all the alcohol I dumped out over the years I might have another house payment in the bank.

Stay strong.

BHappy2014

Congrats! I know that was hard. Don't be too hard on yourself. It won't be productive to your sobriety

gettingbetter64

Thanks for the responses I'm terrified of my drinking becoming worse. I know how hard it is to not drink. The problem I keep on having is I'll get 7-10 days sober and start to feel really good and I think I can drink again. My drinking has only caused stress and chaos in my life.

least

As was said, you have to get to the point where you want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Greg1959

I have made myself a sober wallet. Every time I feel like going down and buying booze, I roughly calculate what I would probably buy, and then put that amount of dollars in my sober wallet. I am only on day 6 and there is already $87 in it. It just reinforces another negative aspect of my drinking, and how much money I wasted on making myself feel sick and disgusting. Just another tool I am using for myself.

gettingbetter64

I'm scared sometimes I'd rather drink then be sober, I hate myself for getting addicted to this poison. I like the idea of the sober wallet, over the past 5-6 years I have spent so much money on alcohol.

Dee74

Good for you for pouring it out
I used to fear that too. It was just my addiction messing with my head

Getting sober is scary sometimes...drinking, however bad, is familiar.



Feed the right wolf

D

NJKitty

In the beginning I made a list if all the reasons not to drink including all the things I would loose and all the things I would gain. A little while in, when all the memories of the embarrassing things I said and did came flooding back to me, I wrote them down too. I got a lot of mileage out of those lists. Most helpful was reading here. Hope that helps. Best wishes.

CapDB

Genius!