NYCfitnessgirl

This is my first post. I am on day one after a 3day bender that resulted in my Roomate and manager calling my mother and making her fly to my city to make me get help. I did not lose my job luckily, but the guy I was dating stopped taking my calls after a drunk night, and my Roomate is considering moving out. I am going to my first therapy session tomorrow, then an aa meeting. I just feel so ashamed, and everyone at work now knows I'm an alcoholic. I hope things get better because I have so much anxiety and doubt. Ive been drinking for over ten years. Being single and sober also scares me.

courage2

Welcome, fitnessgirl!

SR is great support for recovery and NYC has great AA. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Stick around here and you will get lots of good suggestions and even virtual hugs! (( ))

NYCfitnessgirl

Thank you, reading all the posts does help. I've never been this bad, and basically had an intervention. The longest I have gone is one month, and I need to go forever. I know it's one day at a time, but it's scary. I've always had the crutch of alcohol.

courage2

Don't think about forever. Just think about the next right thing to do. And remember that you don't have to drink.

Low

[QUOTE= Being single and sober also scares me.[/QUOTE]

It beats being single and DRUNK.

Wastinglife

I can certainly relate Fitnessgirl. The catalyst for me entering rehab 3 years ago was when my gf called my father to come and get me. She was away for the weekend during which I drank alone in our apartment for 3 days straight. She came home Monday morning to find me passed out drunk when I should have been at work. My dad drove 3 hours, woke me up and said you're coming with me.

That began my journey of recovery. I accepted by alcoholism and got help. Look at this as a watershed moment in your life. Most of us on this site have been through similar circumstances so we're here if you need support.

NYCfitnessgirl

That is very true about the single and drunk comment. I don't remember what I did and slept at this guys house I've only been dating a short time. It feels awful. At least when I'm sober I will remember everything, even if it is scary to not have that thing that lowers my inhibitions. Thanks for your advice!

NYCfitnessgirl

Sounds very similar to my story wastinglife. I missed work on Monday and all my coworkers were very worried. I had to admit to what's been going on. I'm not going home, going to stick out the city, but am getting help.

RevivingOphelia

All this bad stuff that has happened, could be the start of something really good for you. Take it slow. You can do this.

NYCfitnessgirl

Thank you!!

Dee74

Hi and welcome NYCFitnessGirl

It's scary for everyone I think - my drinking defined me and my life revolved around drinking.

There is another life on the other side of that - it's a good life and I think it's a better life...

I also discovered a me I had forgotten existed.

Stick with it - you're not alone

D

FeenixxRising

Welcome NYCFitnessGirl. To paraphrase Ophelia, don't look at this as the end of something, look at it as the start of something good.

Renarde

Welcome. in the very beginning I could only think about one hour at a time. Sometimes I would even look at the clock and just promise myself 15 minutes. Now I have almost 9 months. You can do this.

Renarde

It IS a relief to know that you can trust yourself more and that you are acting as your genuine self. That anxiety doesn't happen anymore.

Laura567

Welcome, I am struggling as well, I find this site very useful and filled with supportive people! You can do this!

Treerat66

Hi NYCfitnessgirl, welcome to SR
It doesn't matter what others know, you know you are an alcoholic. You are on the way up.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Scared of Sobriety is normal, because we don't know anything else, so really we're only scared of change, like everything in life, we like our tried and tested methods.

The problem is though we've tried drinking and it's not creating the life we thought it might do, so many promises of happier times, to then wake up the next morning with a hangover.

On that basis Sobriety is definitly worth the gamble!

cometk

Welcome NYCFG.

I'm on day 4. I was confronted after a similar bender. The detox hurt, but luckily I had no major complications. Now that I feel clear headed, I realize what a cloud I had been in. I'm taking it one day at a time because I can't change the past I can only improve my future.

Good luck with your journey.


Chris

NYCfitnessgirl

It's true we can't change the past and what happened. I'm hoping that fact will help me the next time i want a glass of wine. Just remembering this feeling of shame should help me not give in. The problem is I trick myself into thinking one or 2 is ok. It never stops there though. I feel this time is different though. I disrupted the lives of all my friends and family. The guilt should help me stay sober.

NYCfitnessgirl

Thanks again everyone!