Kabukicho

Well, I was on a lot of Klonopin and alcohol one night and made the mistake of calling my parents. My slurred voice scared them and they called the ambulance.

I was in the ER and then sent to an inpatient detox program.

Currently two days out. About six days sober.

Received

So, what plans do you have in place now that you are out of detox?

Kabukicho

Well, this is going to sound weird. But no more benzos. My doctor has cut me off.

Alcohol is still up in the air. I miss it. Would be lying if I said I didn't. I also have some massive life changes coming up that will be hard to deal with without alcohol. (Sorry, that's just how my mind still thinks.)

Received

Looking back at some of your earlier posts I see you suffered a traumatic event..earthquake? How about getting into some counseling to start unraveling the anxiety, fear and panic you seem to be suffering as a result of that?

You've got to start somewhere. Anywhere. Take one small step forward.

OpioPhobe

Kabu - what about giving sobriety a shot? You have six days right now. Can you recognize the possibility that 'massive life changes' may be easier sober? I know - it SOUNDS crazy, but what does it hurt to try, right? For a long time I thought using was making things easier, but it was making things so much more difficult. It wasn't something I really couldn't see until I had some time away from the dope.

Also, if something was "up in the air" for me it defaulted to using. I was just deluding myself by thinking that I might not use.

Kabukicho

Yup, you hit the nail on the head. "Up in the air" = using.

And I have received some therapy. It hasn't been great. I am seeking out a new therapist.

Kabukicho

I am currently giving sobriety a shot, with the aid of some beta blockers and trazodone and a WHOLE LOT OF ANXIETY.

Dee74

As embarrassing as it must have been, you now have a great opportunity to press forward and really get to grips with all your issues.

I hope you'll make the most of this chance, Kabukicho

D

Thepatman

I agree with this, the root cause is a great idea!

least

Congrats on six days sober. I hope you stick with it.

Hevyn

Be proud of your achievement Kabukicho. I'm so glad that action was taken.

Kabukicho

It is NOT pleasant thus far.

Gilmer

Hang in there. Sooner rather than later you'll be glad you did. It is nice to be free.

biminiblue

It. Gets. Better.


Really, ride it out, the early days are full of anxiety but it gets better. Please trust me on this. Using will put you right back where you were.

Croissant

Agree. Sorry it's now out to your parents as you previously mentioned you were fearful of them knowing. So, now they know. Do you think you were ready for rehab? Is any outpatient care planned?

I hope you see this as an opportunity...but I'm sorry you are still thinking of alcohol. I know you are sick of the consequences....I hope you find the fire in your belly to stop.

Be well.

Anna

You're right, it's not pleasant at the beginning of sobriety, but it will get so much better.

Give it a chance and see if you like it.

Dee74

Early recovery never is - but it will get better if you give it a chance

as I say. make the most of the opportunity to find the help and support you need - make this your turning point K



D

Kris47

No better time than the present. It will be a gift to yourself. Keep moving forward and don't look back. We're doing it with you.

Ruby2

Sometimes things are taken out of our hands and it is a gift, even if we don't view it as that at the time. Your parents now know so you don't have to tell them and you have detoxed and have six days sobriety on which to build. Things you would not have chosen but there they are.

Early sobriety isn't fun. If you don't think the therapist you have is a good fit, look for someone who specializes in PTSD. A guy who I was in rehab served in Afghanistan and was diagnosed with PTSD. Maybe a therapist who works with military personnel?

I know that when I drank and went through withdrawal, my anxiety only got much worse. Since quitting my anxiety has almost disappeared. Sometimes it is there but never like it was and it is tolerable. Try quitting both now with the time you have. You have gotten over most of the physical stuff by this time. Now it is the mental part that will be the challenge. Good luck.

EndGameNYC

A good percentage of people with PTSD do not seek treatment; it's often a very difficult thing for them to do. And because treatment often includes re-enacting the trauma, many who seek treatment don't stay. Or they convince themselves in advance that nothing they do will make any difference. Group therapy seems to be more successful than individual work as it involves making a commitment to a larger group and helping others who carry the same diagnosis. We heal by helping others heal.

Unfortunately, many people with PTSD develop other problems, such as anxiety, depression and substance use disorders, which only exacerbate the PTSD symptoms.

To the OP: I don't know what went wrong or is going wrong in your current treatment, but the longer you avoid treatment, the more difficult it will be to get involved again.

I get the part why you're being so secretive about your condition, but this only feeds your despair and makes your symptoms increasingly unbearable. Taking action is the way to start picking yourself up off the floor.