Makrellen

I'm on day 9 sober

Yesterday I was in the gym, after a looong time

Today I feel quite fresh and good.. no depression

But I also don't like myself
I feel superior/arrogant, too snappy, too fast, selfish, bad karma
I don't like this. I want to humble and nice. Or do I?

Perhaps drinking dulled those sides of me

And maybe I got to used to the misery that drinking brought?

Verte

Hi Makrellen...it is a possibility that your brain and body are adjusting to not having the alcohol in the mix. Just part of the swings in mood?

Glad you are not having a low day I suppose a higher day feels just as awful.

Congrats on Day9!

biminiblue

So much drama in the early sobriety brain, huh?

I'm there with you. Seeking the middle ground. I suspect it is a lifelong pursuit for those who choose to seek balance.

Makrellen

Maybe.. but I have felt like this before
But I'd rather feel like this, and work on it, than drink it "away" (drinking solves nothing).
Thanks

Makrellen

Maybe I have to let my crazy ego be as it is, and just laugh about it. Not fight it and not take it too seriously
I succeed sometimes, but far from always

jaynie04

Hey Mak. I noticed when I was in rehab that the guys who came in behind me seemed to be bouncing off the walls in the first few weeks…really manic. I had one guy who had me cornered and wouldn't stop talking. I avoided him big time. A week later I ran into him and was like "oh no, send up the flare gun, someone save me". Shocker, he was this really calm, sweet guy. I could not believe the difference.

And then I noticed that it seemed to be a pattern. I wouldn't worry too much about it, enjoy feeling like Adonis at the gym.